Oh, man, it’s been a couple of days, that’s for sure. But, here we go, a new installment of End of Civilization to delight and probably annoy. Download a copy of the March 2010 Diamond Previews from copyright_liberators_daily and follow along. (Also, I finally added an “End of Civilization” category, which only links to this post so far. I’ll add the rest later when I have a little free time!)
p. 132 – Ame-Comi Heroine Series: Star Sapphire PVC Figure:
Oh, good, this should end the debate about Star Sapphire’s costume once and for all.
p. 209 – Fame #1 Lady Gaga:
You know, for most of my End of Civilization entries, I’m only joking that the item in question indicates the imminent fall of the world.
p. 244 – The Talisman: The Road of Trials Volume 1 HC:
I’m about to do something entirely unfair.
What my original hardcover copy of The Talisman novel cost when I got it back in 1984: $18.95 (probably about $30 or so today)
What this graphic novel adaptation of the early portions of the novel costs: $25.00
Yes, yes, we’re talking about two different animals here, but still, I think it’s interesting.
p. 275 – Archie: The Best of Dan DeCarlo, Volume 1:
Boy, I sure hope they talk about how he created Josie and the Pussycats in these books. And why he moved on to drawing Simpsons comics and such in his last few years.
p. 328 – Marvel Comics Iron Man 2 Trading Cards:
So I’m assuming Iron 2 Man is about a steam iron magically transformed into a human, and the wacky adventures he has trying to fit into a strange new world. “Hey, man, don’t press me!” “Whoops, sorry, old habits.”
I’ve lost my mind.
p. 333 – Krypto Mad Dog II T-Shirt:
“Doggie style.” Hmm, let’s see, what do I think of when I see that phrase?
1. The punk band Doggy Style.
2. A literal reference to the fact that this is a style of shirt with the picture of a dog on it.
3. And nothing else.
p. 335 – Zombieland We Stand United T-Shirt:
I can’t help but think that this is just going to cause problems with people who don’t notice the Zombieland logo in the corner. “What, you got a problem with sick people, jerk?”
p. 373 – Wolverine & The X-Men Colossus Statue:
Oh, thank goodness, my Colossus “Tribute to Armpits” statue is finally on its way.
p. 378 – Sushi Erasers:
Ladies, gentlemen…let the pranks begin.
p. 378 – Mini Designer Chairs:
These are collectible 1/12 scale model chairs, sold in “blind mystery box” packaging.
I don’t have a joke. I’m too busy being stunned.
p. 379 – Marvel Comics Coloud Headphones:
“STUPID HEADPHONES NOT FIT RIGHT ON HULK’S HEAD. HULK CAN’T PROPERLY ENJOY GLORIA ESTAFAN AND THE MIAMI SOUND MACHINE. WANT RHYTHM TO GET ME TONIGHT.”
“War Journal Entry #5511: I had hoped the soothing sounds of Billy Joel’s An Innocent Man would ease away the pain I live with every day…the pain of loss that never ebbs no matter how many drug dealers or mob bosses I take down. But if Hulk doesn’t shut up about his Gloria Estafan record, I swear to God I’m going to shoot the son of a bitch.”
p. 380 – Tru Blood Soda:
“Tart and slightly sweet, Tru Blood pours like a regular soda but appears stormy and mysterious when poured into a glass.”
Well, hell, I’m sold. If it’s one thing I want to put into my body, it’s something “stormy and mysterious.”
p. 392 – Family Guy Clue:
“The loud, obnoxious character…did it in the living room…with the flashback to a pop-culture reference.”
p. 393 – John Wayne Monopoly:
“Ooh, I landed on The Conqueror square. What happens now?”
“You…really don’t want to know.”
Marvel Previews p. 24-31 – Spider-Man family titles:
That’s eleven different titles, including three issues of Amazing, two mini-series, a one-shot, and an annual. …Huh, I wonder how come Spider-Man‘s success doesn’t translate to comic sales? You’d think the transition from one movie every three years or so to nearly a dozen different stories a month would be a natural one.
Marvel Previews p. 99 – Runaways Live Fast Premiere HC:
Hey, it’s that cover again! I think I’d almost be a bit disappointed if they fixed this little problem.
p. 100 – Avengers Red Zone Premiere HC:
Wow, they pumped up Johns’ name on the cover there to almost “Writers Who’ve Licensed Out Their Novels to Marvel” size on the cover there. Must be because of all the advertising DC’s been doing for them.