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Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

§ February 18th, 2019 § Filed under End of Civilization § 8 Comments

GREAT SCOTT! It’s the End of Civilization, Marty! Hope into this DeLorean and we’ll travel back to February 2019 to try to stop it! We’ll use this copy of that month’s Diamond Previews that we found in a future comic book store/tattoo removal parlor to guide us along:

p. 50 – Little Girls TP:

Alas, no members of Oingo Boingo got back in time with any pull quotes for the cover.
 
 
p. 90 – Spawn #296:

Only four more issues to go before we can ratchet up the surprise from people shocked that Spawn is still coming out by adding on “yes, for over 300 issues now!”
 
 
p. 123 – Berserk Deluxe Edition Volume 2:

“Volume 2?” Oh, you mean Frenzy.
 
 
p. 132 – Star Trek Year 5 #1:

Revealing the tragic fates of Arex and M’Ress, which is why they don’t, like, help save the whales or search for Spock or anything.
 
 
p. 152 – TMNT Shredder in Hell #1 Director’s Cut:

Oh good, hopefully they’ll be restoring the scenes where he meets both Hellboy and Godzilla in hell.
 
 
p. 232 – Giant Super-Cerebus Annual #1:

C’mon, Dave, do these just long enough so that you eventually do a cover parody of House of Secrets #92. Look, “House of Cerebus,” I’ll let you have that for free. EDIT: Whoops! Dave beat me to it!
 
 
p. 291 – Star Wars Leia Organa Rebel Leader in a Box:

I had a joke for this but I’m holding it back because 1) I’m keeping people from um, actually-ing me with “Carrie was cremated,” and 2) a rare bit of taste.
 
 
p. 296 – The Worst Book Ever HC:

That’s a weird trade dress for the Purgatori collection.
 
 
p. M17 – Bruce Lee Minimates Series 1 Box Set:

“The many looks of Bruce Lee are on display here, as his Dojo, Clawed, Casual, and Completely Nude looks make up the four-pack.”

 
 
p. M117 – DC Heroes 5.5oz Scented Candle Tins:

You can light up the Harley Quinn candle to disguise that smell when you’re reading this comic:

 
 
p. M118 – DC Comics Batman Bat-Signal Kitchen Timer:

Surely some kind of Clock King timer would have been more fitting.
 
 
p. M118 – DC Heroes Batman Bat-Symbol Apron:

The Batman ’66 version of this apron just has a big “KISS!” sound effect printed on it.
 
 
Marvel Previews p. 100 – Star Wars Age of Rebellion Grand Moff Tarkin #1:

Here’s hoping Tarkin is a weird 3D CGI rendering in the comic while everything else is traditionally illustrated.