Mike Sterling's Progressive RuinAlone, unmourned, and unloved since 1969

Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

§ October 31st, 2016 § Filed under End of Civilization § 10 Comments

Get ready to cast your vote…for the End of Civilization, as represented by this, the November 2016 edition of Diamond Previews. Get out your copy, along with your sample ballots, and follow along, why don’cha. WARNING: contains one (1) reference to a plot development in a 30-year-old DC mini-series, and at least one (1) thing I’m going to get a drive-by “um, actually” over:

p. 59 – Will Eisner The Centennial Celebration 1917-2017:

Sure was nice of them to homage the classic scene from Frank Miller’s The Spirit on the cover:

 
 
p. 70 – The Manara Library Volume 1 Indian Summer and Other Stories TP:

Wait ’til you see the full-body portrait of Milo Manara that Frank Cho is providing for the variant!
 
 
p. 73 – Game of Thrones Hand of the Queen Pin:

“What will we do with all these leftover Wolverine keychains?”

“Here, let me see ’em.” [snaps off two claws] “There you are.”

“Brilliant!”
 
 
p. 76 – Kamandi Challenge #1:

Looking forward to Albert Einstein’s appearance in issue #6 to get the story straightened out and back on track.
 
 
p. 115 – Batman ’66 Meets Wonder Woman ’77 #1:

…MEETS L.E.G.I.O.N. ’89 MEETS CAGED HEAT 3000 MEETS BLAZIN’ ’93….
 
 
p. 149 – DCTV Supergirl Action Figure:

Nice of them to include the “Pippi Longstocking” variant head.
 
 
p. 230 – A Land Called Tarot HC:

“You have to get our of here! Your land is haunted!”

…

Hmmm…nope, not quite the same feel, is it?
 
 
p. 309 – Belladonna #4 Costume Change 3 Cvr Set:

Well, um…you’re not shy, are you?
 
 
p. 311 – Jungle Fantasy Ivory #6 Luscious Variant:

I’m sensing a theme, here.
 
 
p. 454 – Tale As Old As Time: The Art and Making of Beauty and the Beast Updated Edition HC:

“As old as time” — or at least as old as the year 1740, when the original “Beauty and the Beast” story was first written and published. ALSO AS OLD AS TIME: pedants like me pointing that out.
 
 
p. 456 – Elvira Mistress of the Dark Photo Biography HC:

NOTICE: NOT A POP-UP BOOK.
 
 
p. 474 – Batman “Skull Art” Black T-Shirt:

1980s Gotham kids had their own weird variant of the homemade “Suicidal Tendencies” t-shirt, didn’t they.
 
 
p. 481 – Watchmen Nite Owl Vinimate Vinyl Figure:

You know, the way the leg joints are done on these things, they might be able to do a nekkid Dr. Manhattan and just claim ignorance. “No, that’s not supposed to look like…you know, that’s just where the legs connect! We swear!”
 
 
p. 486 – Batman Classic TV Series Batphone Vinyl Bank:

No joke (other than having an actual bat-shaped phone might have raised questions in the Wayne household), but let’s just enjoy Alfred answering the actual non-bat-shaped batphone from the show:

EDIT: I’ve been informed that this is the phone from the Batmobile, which still seems wildly impractical. You know, as opposed to all the practical stuff from the Batman TV show.
 
 
p. 492 – Aliens Fossilized Space Jockey Foam Replica:

Not included: the vague disappointment upon finding out in Prometheus that this guy was probably just a big ol’ human-looking fella.
 
 
p. 492 – Predator Accessory Pack:

Also may be used to liven up the Barbie Dreamhouse. “What secret is Skipper keeping in her private room?”
 
 
p. 504 – Pop! The Walking Dead Vinyl Figure – Carl (Zombie Guts):

So eventually they’re going to do the “Carl (Shot in the Face)” variant, but will they just do the bandage over the eye, or will they just bore a hole right through one of those black shiny orbs?
 
 
p. 532 – Child Play’s Chucky Bishoujo Statue:

Why, this is the second-sexiest version of Chucky that I’ve ever seen.
 
 
p. 544 – The Bonsai 1 Plastic Model Kit:

“A 1/12 scale model of a bonsai tree. Well, sure, why not…even I can’t screw this up.”

[10 hours later, glue and plastic pieces everywhere]

“SON OF A BITCH, YOU F’ING–”
 
 
p. 564 – Namco Arcade Machine Collection:

I’m ashamed to admit how long I looked into these things trying to find out if they were working mini-replicas. (I’m still not sure.)
 
 
p. 568 – DC Heroes “For Darkseid” Decal:

This is a great accompaniment to the New Gods line of “family sticker” window decals, with silhouetted images of Orion, Kalibak, Highfather…um, this sounded funnier in my head. A sticker featuring the outline of Metron in his chair just by himself in the rear window of a station wagon is still a good gag, right? …Right?
 
 
p. 575 – Suicide Squad Lapel Pin Sets:

“I’d like to buy the Ghost Rider pin, please.”

“But that’s not….”

“Boy, I sure do love Ghost Rider. Here, please take my money.”

“…Okay, thanks for shopping.”
 
 
Marvel Previews p. 5 – Monsters Unleashed #1 Teaser Variant Cover by Geof Darrow:

TWO YOUTUBE JOKES:

1. Have this playing along while you read this comic:

2. At long last, Marvel has finally adapted Bambi Meets Godzilla:

 
 
Marvel Previews p. 39 – Amazing Spider-Man #23:

“Peter, seriously, do you ever trim your nose hair?”