Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

§ August 1st, 2016 § Filed under End of Civilization § 14 Comments

The End of Civilization is staring us right in the eyes, friends, and you get to stare right back into that abyss with the latest issue of Previews! Grab your copy (the August 2016 edition) and follow along, why don’cha?

p. 44 – Serenity: No Power in the ‘Verse #1:

Man, musical comics are really hard to do, so how are they going to pull this…oh, it’s short for “universe.” Never mind.
p. 54 – Muhammad Ali HC:

I know this is supposed to cover his life as a whole, but it’d be a shame to have his team-up with Superman compressed to just a few pages.
p. 80 – Cave Carson Has A Cybernetic Eye #1:

“Oh yeah? Cybernetic lip, cybernetic lip!”
p. 122 – He-Man/Thundercats #1:

He-Man’s gonna have a lot of ‘splaining to do to the Thundercats regarding the whole “Cringer” situation.
p. 284 – Archie Meets The Ramones #1:

Okay, every single time something like this comes up I always make a joke like “and then they should team up with G.G. Allin!” which is exactly what I said when this series was originally announced.

So let me change my reference: boy, I sure hope the Archies meet Throbbing Gristle next! “IN THIS ISSUE, JUGHEAD MEETS THE HAMBURGER LADY!”
p. 302 – Big Trouble in Little China/Escape from New York #1:


p. 338 – Betty Boop #1:


I freely admit I did not know I needed a Howard Chaykin-drawn Betty Boop drawing until I saw it in this Previews.
p. 485 – Super Mario Adventures GN:


This is the weirdest variation on the old “two brothers on opposite sides in the Civil War” trope that I’ve ever read.
p. 508 – Wonder Woman Coloring Book SC:


“So what color should her panties be?”

p. 509 – Home Alone The Authorized Coloring Book SC:


At last, my days of coloring in unauthorized Home Alone coloring books are over.
p. 509 – 101 Horror Movies You Must See Before You Die:


Oddly enough, one of the movies listed is actually titled 101 Horror Movies You Must See Before You Die.
p. 526 – “For Darkseid” Red Heather T-Shirt:


And also “FOR ZARDOZ!”
p. 630 – Star Trek Pizza Cutter:


Obviously based on that scene from “Who Mourns for Adonais” when Apollo grabs the Enterprise with his giant projected hand and uses it to cut his godly-sized pizza.
p. 643 – Howard the Duck Molded Head Mug:


Either the greatest piece of Marvel Comics merchandise of all time, or the one artifact by which future civilizations will pass their harshest judgement.

14 Responses to “Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.”

  • ScienceGiant says:

    Yes, but is there a Zardoz molded head mug?

  • DavidG says:

    Get to see Archie showing the Ramones how it is done, given that he had more hit singles than them, and probably sold more records overall.

  • John Platt says:

    Arrow/Warlord — I’d forgotten about that!

  • Brett Abbott says:

    Next: Archie and Dead Kennedys take a Holiday in Cambodia! Hijinks ensue!

  • Rob S. says:

    Cybernetic lip!

    I suspect we had the same volume of Truly Tasteless Jokes lying around our houses growing up.

  • A solid entry!
    Each joke a zinger!
    Each item progressively bringing us ever closer to Election Da….uh, the End of Civilisation.

  • >Obviously based on that scene from “Who Mourns for Adonais” when Adonais grabs the Enterprise with his giant projected hand and uses it to cut his godly-sized pizza.

    That was Apollo.

    Get it together, mister! The entire crew depends on you!

  • Mikester says:

    Michael – GASP! I’d better fix that before they take away my Trekker card!

  • Andrew Davison says:

    And didn’t Apollo grab the enterprise’s main hull not the warp engines.

  • So how soon until the “Straight Outta Riverdale” issue?

  • King of the Moon says:

    Archie and the Dead Milkmen have a wacky road trip driving a Camaro back from the Bahamas

  • Casie says:

    Thanks for the laughs, Mike!
    And now I’m totally drooling for that Betty Boop comic.

  • Simon says:

    > p. 44 – Serenity: No Power in the ‘Verse

    The sequel to POETRY IS USELESS?

    > p. 122 – He-Man/Thundercats

    Yaoi meets furry, baby!

    > p. 338 – Betty Boop #1

    Al Columbia variant cover?

    > p. 485 – Super Mario Adventures

    The sequel to SCOTT PILGRIM?

    > p. 643 – Howard the Duck Molded Head Mug

    Duck and cover, amirite?

  • Robcat017 says:

    Oh, good! I’m not the only one who got the lip joke! But I am guessing that is THE MOST tenuous and obscure reference EVER! Good job!