Progressive Ruin presents…the shortest ever End of Civilization.

§ September 26th, 2014 § Filed under End of Civilization § 7 Comments

Just get out your copy of the October 2014 Diamond Previews and look at this thing. JUST LOOK AT IT:

p. 455 – Buffy the Vampire Slayer Mr. Pointy 12-Inch Plush:


So the very first End of Civilization post was a Buffy stake replica made from real wood and kept in a fancy box, and now here we are, with this soft fabric carrot-y looking thing, which, to be fair, seems to be a fairly accurate representation of the item from the TV show. This is how far we’ve come in that nearly ten-year span.

TEN YEARS FROM NOW: “Buffy the Vampire Slayer Stake Costume – dress like your favorite Buffy prop based on designs meticulously recreated from carefully selected stills from the show!”

TEN YEARS AFTER THAT: “Buffy the Vampire Slayer Talking Stake! One press of a button is all it takes to hear ‘You’ve been Buffied!’ and ‘WILLOW POWERS ACTIVATE’ and ‘What accent is that exactly, Spike?’ and lots more of your favorite Buffy catchphrases!”

AND TEN YEARS AFTER THAT: “Buffy the Vampire Slayer Hard Light Hologram Stake – actually it’s just a clear plastic thing with some fiber optic lights inside, but IT’S THE FUTURE! HARD LIGHT HOLOGRAM sounds FUTURE-Y!”

AND YET ANOTHER TEN YEARS AFTER THAT: “Buffy the Vampire Slayer Pill-Holding Stake Replica – all you Buffy fans have to keep close tabs on your meds, especially at your age, so let this stake do the work for you! Secure compartments marked with each day of the week ensure you take your Monday pills on Monday!”

AND THEN TEN MORE YEARS: “Buffy the Vampire Slayer Replica Stake Funeral Urn” — and let’s just stop right there.

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