Registered for what, I’m afraid to ask.

§ October 25th, 2011 § Filed under advertising § 8 Comments

Yeah, yeah, I know, “as deadly weapons,” but other possibilities seem more likely. And if you don’t register, then what? Your hands get kicked out of the country? Your hands get locked inside a box? The government sends out Hand-Sentinels to hunt your digits down?

“I see you have hands…may I see your Hand Registration papers, please?” “Yes, officer….”

ad from Legion of Super-Heroes #291 (September 1982)

8 Responses to “Registered for what, I’m afraid to ask.”

  • Roger Green says:

    Damn, I missed this. That’s why I’ve led a life of quiet desperation; unregistered hands.

  • Toby Baldwin says:

    Hands registered as LETHAL WEAPONS! What else?

  • Toby Baldwin says:

    If not Deadly, or Lethal…maybe Weapons of Mass Destruction? Clearly weapons though.

  • Oh no, more madness of deadly hands!
    Let me tell you about a comic I read yesterday: Detective 338, in which Batman gets fists of steel because YOU spilled Formula X on them. The story goes on making several assumptions about YOU, like you are a scientist meeting Bruce Wayne, putting you right in the comic, but not doing a great job of it.
    Batman finds out his hands are deadly when he punches a dent into wrecking ball instead of diving for cover.
    We get the construction worker slang for a wrecking ball, but I already forgot it.
    Later on, he goes soft on the crooks several times, since he can’t hit them, with his rockhard, deadly hands. Instead he smashes the cement (“cement lament”) so the pieces of sidewalk slam into the criminals. Or he smashes solid stone vases, which hit them straight in the head. Very merciful, right?
    To top it off he uses a machine which senses criminal intentions. And we are informed (by the editor) a doctor in England was well into completing such a device in the real world !!!!
    It ends with YOU enjoying a pipe, which must a been a real mindbender for all the kids reading that in 1965.
    Sorry for the rant, my mind is still blown.

  • philip says:

    Lousy demmicrats trying to tax my hands! Wait, what?

    Actually I would love to have an impressive certificate from The Department of Hand Registration. But only if it were just a form indicating that I do, in fact, have hands.

  • Casey says:

    This is my favorite thing ever.

  • Bear says:

    This is so monumentally insane and fantastic that I hope whoever came up with it made MILLIONS of dollars.

  • Either deadly weapons or sex offenders, is my bet.

    Mike, I seem to recall you mentioning the game LA Noire here sometime ago (great game!), but did you play “Arkham City” yet?