Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!
1. Drivers are going to have to stop waaaay back from this traffic light statue in order to see the lights change. Or they’ll have to strain their necks to see what’s goin’ on way up there.
2. I don’t know that I’d want to put my trust in a spring-wound traffic light.
3. Now I assumed that this seemed like an awful lot of effort to control traffic on a single-lane road, but maybe it’s simply there to frighten off anyone approaching from miles away.
4. I hope this statue ends up making an appearance in the series finale of Smallville.
MY SAFETY CODE
Does the one eye turn out to be green kryptonite, and the other red kryptonite? Because if I were Lex Luthor, that is totally what I would do.
The Smallville finale should include this, as well as Clark baking a giant cake for everyone in town.
Does he have eyes in the back of his head for traffic coming the other way?
I always wondered where the lone and level sands were. Who knew they were in Smallville?
Having to look up at a 60 foot-high traffic light can’t be the safest thing to do when you’re on the road.
Wind-up Superboy can x-ray read 3-D comics from hundreds of miles away.
When they do the remake of Fargo set in Smallville, I expect this statue will take the place of Paul Bunyan. And be even creepier.
Hand-lettering that giant sign must have been a chore.
I remember a Superboy story where he gave the local barber a barber’s pole (the red and white striped thing) and every month he would come by and give it a super-spin. Did Smallville not have electricity?
Terrifying. That statue needs to be adapted into someone’s Halloween costume.
…and on the other side of town, a Supergirl version of this traffic signal was erected. For some reason, this second exit from Smallville was much more popular. Though also more prone to accidents as cars passed underneath.
There’s no yellow light! Maybe his crotch flashes a soothing goldenrod as a gentle reminder to slow down before the stop light comes on.
I just realized the super-traffic statue isn’t even at an intersection. It’s a stop light on like half a mile of clear road.
Years later, driving through Smallville, Spider Jerusalem was inspired to design a pair of sunglasses.
Ron Hogan ftw.