The mustache has zero points of articulation.

§ April 18th, 2010 § Filed under Uncategorized § 12 Comments

I’ve had these things floating around the backroom forever, and I had to peel off the series of price stickers on each of these, with the progressively lower and more desperate pricing.

First off, Cameron Hodge, a character I’m vaguely familiar with only from seeing him on the covers of comics I process here at the shop…can’t say I’ve ever actually read anything with him in it:

Figure includes a “water blasting bio weapon.”


Presumably this is analogous to an ability Hodge has in the comics and/or cartoon, but I suspect the less I know, the happier I am. But it’s hard to hate a toy that comes with a little squeeze box so you can shoot water at your friends. You know, if my old Darth Vader action figure, instead of having a lightsaber, had a little tube that ran through his arm and was fed by a squeezable water bulb, I would have happily spritzed the Rebels into submission. “BEHOLD THE SPRITELY WATERS OF THE DARK SIDE,” I’d intone deeply, as I gave Han and Luke what-for with liquid evil.


Anyway, get a load of this handsome bastard:

Sadly, has no bio weapon of his own, though surely the awesome mustache must have a martial arts belt of some kind. The package does blurb him as a “swashbuckling space pirate,” so you’ll have to settle for buckling some swashes for Corsair’s action feature.

So onto the eBay with you, my two little shelfwarmers. May you find a home there; a better home, or worse, so long as it isn’t mine.

12 Responses to “The mustache has zero points of articulation.”

  • Suckmaster Burstingfoam says:

    Cameron Hodge is not an exciting name for a supervillain.

  • Harvey Jerkwater says:

    “Beware the menace of Cameron Hodge and his mutant Head of French Fries!”

  • I think there is a toy version of Hodge from when he was a giant-ass cyborg in Genosha. Anyway the character used to be one of Warren/Angel’s best friends and was the guy who, among other evil things, convinced him to amputate his original wings…

  • Gavin says:

    Doesn’t about half of the population already have something akin to a “water blasting bio weapon?”

  • Flossin says:

    I’m gonna be the first to say that I OWN the Cameron Hodge figure, thank you very much. And yes, the bio weapon is water blasting indeed.

    I never owned the swashbuckling space pirate though. Now you made me want it, Sterling!

  • Flossin says:

    Also: damn, I miss those cards that came with them! (as sad as it is)

  • Ed says:

    Was this around the time of the “buxom” Wolverine figure?
    I remember everyone at my local comic shop snickering at a particularly unfortunately-designed Wolvie doll, which in overdoing the effort to give him huge pecks, the makers just ended up giving him tits.

  • Tom K Mason says:

    With a name like Cameron Hodge, his super power had better be “investment banking.”

  • Eric F says:

    I had that Corsair figure as a kid. He comes with a little zip line. I remember it being a lot of fun to have him slide down it. I still have him somewhere. And yeah, both of these were shelfwarmers. I got Corsair, another pirate guy (Kylun?) and a big green guy all on clearance at Target at the same time and passed up Hodge on clearance like a dozen times as a kid.

  • Heli says:

    I suspect those are now fetching prices in the nearly double-digit range. (Well, double-digit after the decimal point.)

  • If water-squirting Marvel action figures are your game, they had a whole line of X-men water squirting figures.

    Personally, I own a NAMOR who comes in his craptastic 1990’s “Oracle armor”.
    However he more than makes up for it by having a water-wave shaped ride-on accessory and an inflatable “pool” with a water-shooting action (I think it’s a built-in trigger mechanism, but might have been the squeeze-bulb… I dunno. Never played with it).
    It just amused me to have an inflatable “swim-fins” type of accessory for Namor.

    King of the Seas my ass.

    The old “animated Spider-Man” Mysterio had a squeeze-bulb thingee for shooting “mists” of water.

    As far as villainous “powers” go, you’d do much worse by just horking back and hocking a loogie on Spidey’s boots.

  • bird says:

    i have a green lantern action figure that sprays water out of his power ring. i guess if you dye the water green, get high enough and squint your eyes it might almost look right. there’s no way to make a giant boxing glove out of the water so it’s pointless.

    it is fun to try to shoot things with the water though.