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Played Iron Butterfly’s “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” 28 1/2 consecutive times, keeping track on a posted piece of paper
In-store Tetris competitions
Made up half-baked musical numbers on the spot (“The Leprechaun Punisher” – “Priority Mail – The Musical” – “Mike Racer” )
RUBBER BAND GUN FIGHT!
Used a megaphone to announce special deals at our “Midnight Madness” sales
Used a megaphone for pretty much any other reason we could think of
Displayed Crack Comics Speed Comics (well, I thought it was funny)
Recounted, in excruciating detail, our Trade Wars 2002 adventures
Set fire to a comic out in the parking lot (don’t remember which comic…oh, okay, it was West Coast Avengers)
Picked up another employee and twirled him around in the air, making him scream like a girl
Read Kitty Pryde’s dialogue from the Kitty Pryde & Wolverine mini-series in a gravelly voice (a la The Venture Brothers ‘ Doctor Girlfriend )
Learned a lot about gay porn (thanks, Dorian…I think)
Put up a promo poster for Jonni Thunder AKA Thunderbolt up by the register with other new promo posters, some 20 years after the series was over
Debated, at length, the DC Universe timeline, and how the presence of the Teen Titans screws it all up
Got a wandering balloon-sculpture expert to make us all kinds of cool balloon-sculpture-type stuff (sword, hat, etc.)
Had conversations entirely in tough-guy gangster-type voices with former employee Corey
Played “Makin’ Bacon” by the Pork Dukes on the store stereo (trust me, that’s entirely inappropriate)
Had a “Suit and Tie Day” (ironic, no?)
Wore this
Mom jokes. Lots of them
Stood on the roof, wearing no pants (may be apocryphal)
Hired Kid Chris
“Mike’s Super Disco Party Dance-Off!”
Occasionally brandished The Peacemaker in a friendly-yet-threatening manner (The Peacemaker: wooden baseball bat with a peace sign scratched into the handle)
Knowingly and willingly sold copies of Youngblood to customers
Played the circle game
Kept around a ziplocked bag filled with former employee Rob’s lengthy shorn locks
Did impressions of Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street
Allowed myself to be one of the objects of a county-wide scavenger hunt
Gathered material for weblogs