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This post is comprised of miscellaneous topics, separated by horizontal lines.

§ May 17th, 2007 § Filed under all star batman Comments Off on This post is comprised of miscellaneous topics, separated by horizontal lines.


Conversation at the store:

Employee Aaron: “I wonder what George Takei’s power is on Heroes?”

Me: “The power of being incredibly cool.”

Employee Aaron: “…I’ll accept that.”

…And then Employee Jeff asked about the sequence in the most recent episode, where he wondered if Hiro’s father (Takei) really taught Hiro expert swordsmanship in so short a period of time. That resulted in this shameful display:

Me (in my best Comic Book Guy voice): “Well, if you were to refer to your copy of All New Collectors’ Edition #C56, better known as ‘Superman Vs. Muhammad Ali,’ you will see that during the course of the story, Ali trained Superman in the sweet science while in another dimension…a dimension where time passes at a far different rate to our own dimension. Only minutes would pass by in the ‘real world’ while hours, or even days, could go by in this other dimension.

“Perhaps, with his time-altering powers, possibly even unwittingly, Hiro altered the passage of time for his father and himself, allowing them hours or days of training while only a short period of time passed outside of Hiro’s influence.”

Employee Jeff: “…”

Employee Aaron: “…I need to go sit down now.”


The whole Mary Jane “sexy” statue brouhaha reminded me of this oddity from a while back: the Marvel Milestone Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy statues:


The sculpts are absolutely identical, save for the heads. This should tell us something, I’d imagine.

And then there was this Mary Jane statue, which I mentioned in a previous End of Civilization installment:


And, as pal Dorian had noted, the “sexy” MJ statue is still better than this damned thing:


Why? Why would you want that?


Speaking of offending people, I wanted you to know that I had this title banner all ready to go when All Star Batman & Robin #5 was finally unleashed on the marketplace:


I was going to replace my regular title banner just for the day, without comment, just to…well, be annoying, I guess. But right now, with all the hoo-har over the sexual nature of the aforementioned Mary Jane statue, I thought maybe now may not be the best time to splash Wonder Woman’s rear end across the top of my page. I mean, sure, all you folks reading this site would get that I’m just messin’ around, but I suppose I don’t need the additional grief it could bring at the moment.

I wasn’t even going to bring it up, except for one thing. Would you like to know when I made that banner?

According to the file creation date of my original image, I made it on April 26th.

Of 2006.

It’s been about a year since the last issue of All Star Batman. It’s been several months since the last issue of Ultimates 2 (also out this week). And, as I’ve noted before, it’s been a year (and counting) since the last issue of Ultimate Wolverine Vs. Hulk.

Quite frankly, this is embarrassing. Appalling and embarrassing. There’s no excuse for alleged periodicals to be this late. I’m willing to cut folks a little slack, but once we’re measuring lateness in years, it becomes obvious that something’s broken at Marvel and DC.

Come to think of it, when was the last time a Frank Miller project was released on a timely basis? Daredevil? I remember the delays on Ronin. Dark Knight Returns #4 was so late DC actually released a promo item for stores to post, announcing its arrival:


And I’m sure most of you remember the delays on the Dark Knight sequel. Did the various Sin City series maintain a schedule? I’ll have to check.

Do any of Marvel and DC’s lateness problems have any repercussions? I mean, aside from readers giving up on the books and the occasional, sheepish “yeah, I know we’re late, we’re working on it!” interview in Wizard? Or have the companies 1) realized that readers are accustomed to late books now being the norm, and 2) grown attached to the slight sales bump provided by the low-rent star-f’ing of having minor league “celebrities” write their books regardless of their consistent lateness issues, and therefore just don’t care?

Wow, that got bitter, fast. I really just wanted to say, hey, finally a new issue of All Star Batman, it’s a hoot! But I’m too pissed off right now to be particularly enthusiastic about it.

But here are some questions I’d like to see answered by the powers that be:

1. Why are these books so late?

2. What is being done to correct this problem?

3. What is being done to prevent this problem from recurring?

4. What are you doing to repair the erosion of consumer (and retailer) confidence in your products?


Let us lighten the mood with a little joy:

I hadn’t known that there was a flash animation of the Alan Moore-vocalized “March of the Sinister Ducks” song:


…but now I do.


And since some of you were wondering how this turned out:


And you can blame Kevin for this.

NANCY MUST NOT EAT IT.

§ May 16th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on NANCY MUST NOT EAT IT.

from Nancy and Sluggo #174 (Jan-Feb 1950)

This post brought to you by Licensable Bear™.

§ May 15th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on This post brought to you by Licensable Bear™.

Something I don’t get: I was processing a collection of recently acquired (read: dumped on us) comics, and there was an issue of Amazing Spider-Man that was taped…taped…to the backing board it shared its polybag with. A big piece of double-sided tape was stuck in the middle of the back cover, and then the comic was affixed to the backing board before being bagged.

And it wasn’t plain ol’ Scotch tape either…it was some kind of unholy, gnarly sticky tape that wasn’t going to let go of the paper, which meant tearing the back cover of the comic in order to deboard it. Luckily, it was a recent issue that we already had plenty of…and, also luckily, it was dumped on us, as I said, so it’s not like we had any money into it.

But still, taping your comic to your backing board…that’s not recommended comic book care, friend. Nor is hot-gluing the comic to the board, or stapling it. NO CGC 9.8 FOR YOU.

In other news:

  • At last! New Groo for me and you! Groo the Wanderer is returning late this summer in a 25th anniversary special, to be followed by a new mini-series (Groo: Hell on Earth). One of my Frequently Asked Questions at the shop is “When’s the new Groo coming out?” — and now I have an answer. Thank goodness.
  • New Mary Jane Watson cheesecake statue announced, shit hits fan(s). I know everyone’s already seen this statue (and the outrage it’s created) by now, but my pal Cully (who only follows one comics weblog – this one) probably hasn’t, and he’ll get a laugh out of it, I’m sure. Please note it’s already sold out, even prior to shipping, so look for more statues along these lines to follow. (“Aunt May…as you’ve never seen her before!”)

    My favorite response to the statue is this post that pal Dorian dug up. Damned funny.

  • You know what you people need to cheer up? You need a Licensable Bear™ animated short:


    It’s yogurty!

    I’m also going to shamelessly plug some Licensable Bear™ comics, because 1) that’s what Licensable Bear™ would want me to do, and 2) pal Nat, who’s responsible for unleashing Mr. Bear™, is a nice guy and I want to help him out.

    Retailers are placing orders this month for two comics starring Licensable Bear™ that are coming out in July. One is Licensable Bear™ #4 (p. 215 of the May Previews, order #MAY073114) and the other is Liberty Stories #1, with a short full color Licensable Bear™ story (p. 310, MAY073516). Tell your retailers quick, since orders are due soon.

    Now that’s a plug!

  • More plugging: no link…but last night’s episode of Heroes featured a pile of comics Micah was looking through, the most prominent being Silver Surfer #1 (1968), mentioned by name in dialogue. There’s your stealth plug for the new Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer movie, one of the show’s sponsors. In fact, an extended preview of the film was advertised during last night’s show as airing during the Heroes series finale.

    Nice in-joke: the comic initially at the top of the pile was an issue of the Hulk: Gray mini-series, which was drawn by Heroes staff artist Tim Sale.

  • For those of you who like your political commentary unsubtle: “Superheroes sing for peace”

    “Singer-songwriter August Bullock loved comic books as a child. Superman, Batman, and other heroes he admired never tortured their victims, never struck the first blow, and always adhered to the highest ethical standards.

    “He composed a protest song, ‘Heroes of America — an anti-war anthem,’ around this idea, lamenting the loss of America’s moral compass.”

    […]

    “‘Heroes of America’ was instantly popular, but the music video he made from it really made it fly. ‘The whole process was serendipitous,’ explains Bullock. ‘At first I was just going to wear a Superman costume while I sang the song. Then I had the idea of filming other ‘superheroes’ in public places on Halloween. Then I added protesters at a huge peace rally in San Francisco. When I spliced everything together I discovered I had a made commercial for the peace movement.'”

    You can read the whole press release at the link…note that there’s an embedded YouTube video that will automatically play.

    This YouTube clip, in fact:

Justice League Unlimited: Locker Room custom figures.

§ May 14th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Justice League Unlimited: Locker Room custom figures.

“…This latest series of Justice League Unlimited figures shows the men of the League in their natural habitat: the locker room! Whether you’ve saved reality in a dirty battle with Mordru the Magician, or just want wash off a bit of that Javelin 7 cockpit smell, the Watchtower Locker Room is where the gods go to feel like men.”

Read and, er, see more at Toymania.

(via reader Rob)

Oh, man, not that picture again.

§ May 14th, 2007 § Filed under peanuts Comments Off on Oh, man, not that picture again.


I have a reason for running this image again…well, sort of a reason, anyway, as I wanted to run down the titles featured on the newsstand, and see how many of them were used for real-life print publications. So, here we go (omitting repeats and titles obscured by Charlie Brown)…let me know of any additions and corrections:

Mangle – I think the closest we got was Mangle Tangle Tales, published by Innovation in 1990.

Terror – “Terror” was used frequently in titles, but I don’t think it was used as a title just by itself. The closest I found was one of the EC Comics mags Terror Illustrated. And, of course, the Comics Code forbade its use in any titles.

War – A comic by this title was published by Charlton Comics from the mid-’70s to the mid-’80s. Here is one of my favorite covers from that series. (I know it says “World of…” above the “WAR” logo, but the official title was still “WAR.”)

Hate – Of course everyone remembers the classic and funny Peter Bagge series, beginning in 1990 and still occasionally coming out today.

Gouge – Like I told someone in the comments for yesterday’s post, what a great name for a comic. I picture a Punisher-type character as the star.

Kill – Several comics with the word “KILLER” or “KILLING” in their titles, and of course there’s Kill Your Boyfriend. None called just “KILL,” far as I know.

SlaughterSlaughterman, baby! Close enough for horseshoes.

Choke – There was a title called (I believe) The Choke from Anubis Press. Choke also sounds like something Eros might publish, someday.

Murder Comix/Comics – Renegade Press published a series called Murder in the ’80s, and, though it’s not an exact match, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention one of my all time favorite comic book titles: Murder Me Dead by David Lapham. Man, I love that title.

Ouch! – Seems to me like this would have been the title of one of the many, many Mad Magazine rip-offs that have come out over the years.

Stab! – Unused, I think. What a great title, though.

Throttle – There was an Aircel comic called Full Throttle, which isn’t exactly the same thing. Well, then again, this is Aircel we’re talking about…

Crush – Dark Horse and Image both had comics by this name, but probably not nearly as interesting as the sorta-implied contents in the Crush comic from the Peanuts strip. “In this issue – more criminals crushed! Under collapsed walls! In crashed cars!”

Hit! – Quality Comics has a series called Hit Comics prior to this strip’s 1952 publication date. Debuting in this series: Kid Eternity and the freakin’ Red Bee!

Kick Komics – Nothing called just Kick or Kick Komics, or, God help us, Kid’s Kick Komics, which would only cause problems. There was Kickers, Inc., but not quite the same, really.

Smash – Another Golden Age Quality Comics title that preceded the Peanuts strip. Debuting in this series: Bozo the Robot. Don’t look at me, that’s what Overstreet says. Here, read more about it.

Jab – Adhesive Comics published a funnybook by this title in the ’90s, and it featured not only Too Much Coffee Man, but also my favorite cover enhancement.

Ruin Funnies – As some of you have noted, this title is strangely appropriate for my site. And there has been a mini-comic with “Ruin” in the title….

Slash – Northstar Comics had a horror comics anthology by this title a decade or so ago. Crow creator Jim O’Barr had some work in it.

Mob – Nothing called just Mob as I recall, but the first closely-related title I can think of is the Kirby-riffic In The Days of The Mob. “Mob” pops up in several other titles, too (Mobfire, etc.).

Killer – As I noted under Kill, lots of titles use variations of the word. However, there was a comic with the prominent logo “KILLER” – though technically the full title is KILLER…Tales by Timothy Truman. And there’s a series currently running called The Killer.

Horror Funnies – There was a book shortly after that Peanuts strip was printed called The Horrors. “Horror” actually is used a lot as part of longer titles, and it too was banned from use by the Comics Code. Nothing called Horror Funnies, unfortunately…I’m amused by the juxtaposition of terms in that title.

Blast Comics – There was a British comics mag called Blast, which is about as close as we get, and “Blast” was used a lot as part of longer titles. Otherwise, the title would have been ideal for one of the many atomic bomb-related comic books from the 1950s (and it kinda, sorta looks like an atomic blast on that cover Schulz drew, there).

So there you go. Like I said, any corrections or additions, please send them my way. There are probably some undergrounds or, more likely, mini-comics that used some of those titles that I may have overlooked. And yes, I didn’t list every single title variation of every real-world comic that uses some part of the titles Schulz created for his newsstand. I mean, what do you think I am…obsessive or something?

It’s sad when it happens to someone you know.

§ May 13th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on It’s sad when it happens to someone you know.

So in Saturday’s mail delivery, I received the ballot for the upcoming Eisner Awards, for various outstanding achievements in funnybooking. What caught my eye, however, was the “Best Comics-Related Periodical/Journalism” category:


Along with some fine and deserving print publications are two equally fine and deserving comic weblogs: Tom Spurgeon’s Comics Reporter and Dirk Deppey’s Journalista. I think we can all agree that both of those websites are essential reading for anyone interested in comics as an artform and/or an industry, and I of course would applaud the awarding of an Eisner to either.

However, I can’t help but notice that there’s room for a write-in ballot. And since they’re considering weblogs:


VOTE RUIN!

Hey, why not? Surely I’m deserving of an Eisner for my in-depth investigative reporting. Okay, it’s mostly about things that happened a decade ago, or me complaining about whatever stupid thing Marvel’s done this time, but I’ve been in the industry for (ahem) many years now, toiling in the funnybook fields, and feeding my hard-won knowledge into this weblog. That must count for something. Plus, I once touched Jack Kirby. (Appropriately touched, thank you.)

At the very least, I deserve a trophy for managing to sell a full run of Marvel Vision. I realize that’s not “journalism,” but it’s like Hercules cleaning the Augean stables, baby, and I demand recognition!

Oh, sure, you could vote for other, lesser weblogs run by…well, I don’t want to throw the word “Communist” around, or bring up anyone’s time in prison. But you folks know what to do. VOTE RUIN! Vote early, vote often, as they say.

If I win, I promise to totally abuse my newfound power and cruelly crush my enemies…so you know your vote is going toward a worthy cause.


This image from the end of yesterday’s post:


…comes from an early ’50s installment of Charles M. Schulz’s Peanuts, featuring a funny contrast between the “for the kiddies” blurb across the top of the display and the actual comics therein. It’s amusing, at least to me, to look at the titles and pick out the ones that eventually were used (or, in the case of Smash, had been used) for real comics.

I particularly like the drawings Schulz provided for the covers:

Entertaining Comics.

§ May 12th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Entertaining Comics.

Finally got that EC Comics collection we acquired recently processed and out for sale. Before the comics started flying out the door, I cleared out the main glass counter and filled ‘er up with the books so that I could take some photos and chronicle the majesty. And even as I was taking the photos, one of our longtime customers was patiently waiting for me to finish so she could acquire some of the books for herself.

Anyway, I’m no photographer (see if you can spot my shoe in a reflection!), but here are a few choice shots of the comics. Some are a little worse for wear (like that Weird Science #1) and some are downright gorgeous (some of those Weird Fantasy issues almost look like they just came from a 1950s newsstand)…but to have so many at once, even full runs of some of the series, is a thrill.

The nieces ‘n’ superheroes, again with the ’90s, what my job isn’t, and a former employee gets footnoted.

§ May 11th, 2007 § Filed under free comic book day Comments Off on The nieces ‘n’ superheroes, again with the ’90s, what my job isn’t, and a former employee gets footnoted.

So, last night, I was finally able to give the sets I’d put aside of Free Comic Book Day comics to my girlfriend’s nieces, aged 9 and 10. They were excited, of course, because hey! Free comics! Of the comics I gave them, they were pretty happy about the Simpsons and Archie freebies, but they were most thrilled about the Marvel Adventures Hulk/Iron Man book, the Spider-Man comic, and, prepare yourself for a shock, the Justice League of America #0.

Yeah, I know I said this continuity-heavy, non-linear narrative could possibly be offputting to new readers. But seeing my girlfriend’s nieces parked on the living room couch, reading the comic aloud to each other, and occasionally asking me questions about who certain characters were and what they were up to (not in an “I don’t understand this comic” way, but more in a “this is pretty neat, tell me more about it!” kind of way)…well, I was certainly happy to be wrong.

Mentioning this to pal Dorian, he shared with me his opinion that this comic may be ideal for younger children, as the free flow of ideas and mysterious events and whatnot is exactly the type of thing that can grab the interest of young, inquiring minds. I still wish, in the JL#0’s case, that there was more of a linear narrative, but the girls loved it, and that’s the important thing.

Huh…young girls gravitating toward and enjoying superhero comics. Whaddaya know?

I also gave some comics to the four-year-old nephew, but he was more interested in practicing his soccer (football, to you civilized countries) technique inside the house. Ah, he’ll get to ’em eventually.


Commenter Chaz asked in response to yesterday’s post:

“…Did you see the post-early-90s crash coming, and was there anything you did differently that allowed you to survive/stay healthy? It seems like you avoided milking it for all it was worth, but I didn’t see anything else in those two posts that would answer my question.”

We didn’t really see the crash coming, at first. I remember seeing some indicators that things were going awry (like that one month’s distributor catalog that was ballyhooing at least three new ongoing “superhero universes,” causing me to wonder who was going to support all those; the excessive reliance on gimmick covers; Rob Liefeld). Comic sales were so high for such an extended period of time, that…well, we sorta took it for granted, and when the occasional dog of a comic began to turn up (like Turok: Dinosaur Hunter #1 or that Adventures of Superman #500), we took ’em as flukes. “Well, we learned our lesson on those turkeys…thankfully everything else is selling so well, we can absorb the losses!”

And when sales began to drop across the board, there was some measure of belief that it was just a temporary dip in sales…after all, so many folks were buying comics, surely they all weren’t going to give up on them all at once! So orders were kept up, assuming that the dip was temporary and that people would probably want to be able to get the back issues they missed once they started picking up their comics again.

Had this been a normal market shift, a typical ebb and flow of comic readers, that could very well have been the case. But this was a massive departure of readership, for whatever the reasons may have been (and that could fill yet another post), and they weren’t coming back. Eventually high hopes had to give way to the reality that those high sales were history, and we had to adjust our orders accordingly. Thanks to the judicious use of cycle sheets, we were able to track orders and actual rack sales, so we were able to adjust quickly and avoid throwing good money after bad for too long, after the full effect of the crash was obvious.

I think I may have touched upon this in other posts, but there were a couple reasons why we were able to ride out the lean years of ’90s.

First, we were a comics and games store. After a local games store went out of business many years ago, people started coming to us and asking for their role playing and tabletop war game supplies, and since folks were asking, we decided we’d try to deliver. Soon, about half the store was devoted to gaming items, and when the comics thing took its dive, the money brought in by the games took up the slack.

Second, we still carried a full line of comics and related items. When other stores in the area (and there were a lot of them, popping up here and there to take advantage of the then-current faddishness of comics) began to either shift their focus primarily to toys, or go out of business altogether, their customers who were still interested in reading comics began to come to, or return to, us. Thus, we still were able to do some comic book business…not nearly on the scale we were used to during the boom, but we were able to maintain our reputation as the place to go to for your funnybook needs, and make a small bit of money besides.

Third, we took in some significant coin of the realm by carrying POGs, but let us not speak of that again.


NOT IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION: Explaining to someone on the phone how to use Google in order to find a comic-related product we didn’t happen to have. ALSO NOT IN THE DESCRIPTION: Telling you how to spell the search terms you need to use. Are you kidding me?


SEEN AT THE STORE: Former employee Josh (second Josh, not Amazing Race 4 Josh), stopping by the shop to say hello to us poor schlubs what are still in the comic book mines. He was a bit bruised and battered, having participated in some fisticuffs with an unruly gentleman at a party recently* as Josh defended the virtue** of the right and good All Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder***.

I gave him some leftover Free Comic Book Day comics, which not only make good reading for my girlfriend’s nieces, but also have mystical healing properties****, so he’ll be good as new in no time.

* True.

** Not true…he was actually trying to calm down some belligerent jerk. Didn’t work, apparently.

*** Absolutely true. ASB&R is fan-tastic…don’t let anyone tell you any different. Or Josh will beat you up.

**** Of course that’s true. Free comics have magical powers. Surely you knew this?

Virgins, comics shops, and (sorta) new books.

§ May 10th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Virgins, comics shops, and (sorta) new books.

Here’s part of a spam mail sent our way by someone allegedly casting for a new MTV program:

“MTV is casting a fun, new documentary style reality series about relationships & dating from a male perspective. We’re looking for virgin guys (21 & up) on their quest to break out of their shell & improve their love life.

“Do you get nervous around women? Are you stuck in the ‘friend’ zone? Do you find you’re too busy to date? Whatever the reason, if you or someone you know is a virgin guy in the Greater Los Angeles area, we want to meet them!

Hmmm…an e-mail looking for virgin guys, sent to a comic shop. Thanks for the kind thoughts!


SOME CLARIFICATION FOR STEVEN GRANT: Here are some additional details about the exchange quoted from my site in Mr. Grant’s most recent column:

1. The first line was the son, the second the dad. (And yes, if they were reversed that would have been a tad tragic.)

2. The son was about twelve, the father was in his thirties.

Anyway, if you all haven’t already, read his column for his perspective on a comic shop’s challenges in today’s marketplace…and about how some stores helped bring the 1990s market crash upon themselves (something I touched upon myself in a couple posts of mine about said crash).


Bought for myself on Wednesday:

  • Parasyte Vol. 1 by Hitoshi Iwaaki – This is one of those manga series that I discovered just a little too late…by the time I got around to flipping through an installment or two, it had already gone out of print and I didn’t have all the books in stock. But, here’s a new edition by Del Rey, in fewer, thicker volumes than the previous run, so at last I can get the full series for myself.

    Anyway, it’s about some alien critters that come to Earth and infect human hosts, taking over their bodies, changing shapes and stirrin’ up trouble. However, when one infection goes awry, a fellow named Shin finds his parasite’s influence is restricted solely to his right hand. So, now his hand literally has a mind of its own, and Shin and the parasite now have to learn to live with each other, which is kind of difficult when the hand occasionally looks like this:


    Anyway, it’s a nice combination of “absolutely horrific” and “grotesque” and “darkly humorous,” which is right up my alley. Looking forward to finally being able to read this series in its entirety.

  • Mister I by Lewis Trondheim – This follow-up to Mister O has been out for a while, and I know I ordered the darned thing when it originally appeared in our order forms. Thankfully, unlike Mister O, Mister I has remained available for reorder, so I was finally able to get a copy. Like that first book, this new volume features lots and lots and lots of tiny little drawings, following the wiener-shaped Mister I as his various plans and schemes generally go very poorly for him. Here’s a review and brief sample so you can see what I’m talking about.
  • Cover Girl #1 by Andrew Cosby, R.M. Yankovicz, and Kevin Church – Yes, that’s right, the comicsweblogosphere’s own Mr. Church has a new funnybook out, and…okay, I haven’t had a chance to really read it yet, but what bits of the dialogue I’ve read so far have been pretty funny, and I like Kevin, I’ve liked his writing, so I imagine I’ll enjoy the book. And if I don’t, I’ll just send him a nasty e-mail. Heck, maybe I’ll send him one anyway, just to keep in practice.

Another great title page…

§ May 9th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Another great title page…

…where the story can’t possibly measure up:

from Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #109 (April 1971) by Cary Bates, Werner Roth & Vince Colletta

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