Progressive Ruin Presents…The End of Civilization.

§ April 26th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Progressive Ruin Presents…The End of Civilization.

Once again, it’s time to see what wonders and what horrors lurk within the latest Diamond Previews catalog…grab your copy of the May 2007 edition and follow along. And check the sidebar for 26 previous installments, if you’re so inclined. And why wouldn’t you be? Heck, it’s not like you’re doing anything else right now anyway.

p. 168-9 – Lost Series 2 Action Figures – Sun:

For those of you keeping track, two of the three female characters from Lost so far given action figures are in bikinis. Naked Desmond figure still pending.

p. 192 – Spider-Man 3 [spoiler removed] Eddie Brock Statue:

Remember that slight brouhaha a few years back, when the soundtrack for Star Wars Episode I was released ahead of the film, and one of the track titles gave away a major character development? Here’s the Limited Collector’s Statue version of that. Funny that there’s a big ol’ spoiler in the title, while the image of the statue is blacked out. If you want to see the full uncensored title, here you go. (And yeah, I know, it’s not much of a spoiler, given how things usually work out in these films.)

p. 387, 390 – Pretty Face Volume 1 TP:

“He wanted to be her boyfriend…how did he end up as her twin sister?”

All right, that’s it…Japan, what the hell is going on over there?

p. 439 – Countdown Ray Palmer T-Shirt:

Given that the other Countdown t-shirts (“Jimmy Olsen Must Die,” “Seduction of the Innocent,” and “Darkseid Rules”) are a bit more on the confrontational/bizarrely amusing side, “The Search for Ray Palmer” seems a little out of place, a little less dynamic. “WHERE’S THE ATOM?” or “THE ATOM’S SPLIT” — okay, those aren’t so great, but you know what I mean. Hopefully.

p. 440 – Superman “Honor & Truth” Black T-Shirt:

Now that’s just trying too hard.

p. 473 – Star Trek Deep Space Nine Series 1 Action Figures:

What’s with the sudden push for DS9 merchandise? The trading cards I featured last month, these new action figures…there’s not really that much demand for DS9 stuff, is there? (Okay, maybe more than for, say, Voyager, but still….)

EDIT: Full disclosure – I have one of the 1993 Morn figures.

p. 485 – Shaman Mini-Bust:


p. 485 – Banshee Mini-Bust:


p. 494 – Star Wars Classics Kit Fisto Bust:

The only possible use of this statue is to give your friends reason to make fun of you. For God’s sake, don’t tell ’em the character’s name is “Fisto” — you’ll never hear the end of it.

p. 513 – The Art of Shunya Yamashita: Shion Fine Art Bust:

You know, usually these Japanese girly “fantasy hero” statues at least make a pretense at wearing some semblance of clothing.

p. 542 – 300 Dog Tags:

“The king has ordered for you to support the Spartan troops and the fight for freedom by proudly displaying these 300 epoxy dog tags around your neck.”

Part of the 300 Anachronism Merchandising Line, along with the 300 Wall Clock, the 300 Shooters, the 300 Mail Bag, and the 300 Watch with Tin, all also offered this month.

p. 545 – Star Wars Wacky Wobblers:

That’s enough. No more bobbleheads. Is that Darth Vader in his TIE fighter? Doe the TIE fighter bobble? Does Darth’s head bobble? Do both the TIE fighter and Darth have bobble action? THAT’S TOO MUCH BOBBLING. We don’t need any more bobblehead dolls of any kind, ever…except maybe for…

p. 551 – Black Jesus Bobblehead:


Marvel Previews p. 4 – Captain America #25 Director’s Cut:

“The events in CAPTAIN AMERICA #25 have been covered in news outlets nationwide…”

“…And this new reprint is several months too late to take advantage of that days-long media-driven sales bump, as the general public has already forgotten about this ‘event,’ but we’re going to bring up the media coverage again anyway in an effort to inflate sales!”

Marvel Previews p. 4 – Civil War Chronicles #1:

“Experience CIVIL WAR and it’s [sic] major tie-ins from AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, FANTASTIC FOUR, FRON [sic] LINE and more in chronological order!”

Maybe this go-around the Civil War event will come out on schedule. Second time’s the charm!

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