§ April 1st, 2007 § Filed under here comes the april fool Comments Off on KEVIN CHURCH FAN CLUB UPDATE #1750

Hey, gang! There’s a whole lot of breaking Kevin Church news, so let’s just jump right in!

  • ***ITEM!*** I’m sure you’ve heard the news that Kevin Church is writing (well, they say “co-writing,” as if Kevin Church needs the help) a new series for BOOM! Studios, Cover Girl. Well, if you go to the Official Kevin Church Forum, you can see previews of both issue #1 and #2 in this message thread. It looks fantabulous!
  • ***ITEM!*** Kevin Church’s mind is like a race car, always driving at full throttle, always ahead of the pack, always with a little man with a crash helmet inside. Well, that mind has created a new piece of absolute genius: LAWYERBEAR.ORG, featuring his newest character Lawyerbear, “the leader in ursine litigation and defense!” Brilliant! And Kevin Church demonstrates his charitable nature by generously allowing his much less talented friends and miscellaneous hangers-on to provide content for the site. Don’t get me wrong, their contributions are…mildly amusing, but they would be nowhere, nowhere, without the strong leadership and forward thinking of Kevin Church.
  • ***ITEM!*** Kevin Church’s online comic strip The Rack is still going strong, so don’t forget to check every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for the updates! Also don’t forget to participate in our Kevin Church Fan Club poll: “Is The Rack artist Benjamin Birdie someone Kevin Church allowed to draw his comic strip, or is ‘Benjamin Birdie’ simply a pseudonym for Kevin Church himself, who humbly hides the full extent of his true artistic talent to prevent lesser beings from falling into despair at being unable to match his greatness?”
  • ***ITEM!*** I wanted to officially welcome the 5,000th member of the Kevin Church Fan Club, having joined up just yesterday. M. S. Erling from downtown Canada, congratulations! Your fan club materials are winging their way through our respective post offices, even as I type this!
  • ***ITEM!*** Due to the overwhelmingly positive response to my Kevin Church fan fic — “Kevin Church Vs. Spike Merling: Butter-Wrassling ’06” — I am currently in the process of composing a new epic fan fic titled “Kevin Church and Ike Terlin, Best Friends Forever, Battle the Invading Menace of the Moon Men Invasion from Mars.” It’s a real ripsnorter, and it’s got even more of what you liked from my first story! More fistfights! More aliens! More hugging! More oils and perfumes! More car chases! I can only hope you’ll find as much pleasure in it as I do!
  • ***ITEM!*** The May 1st deadline is approaching fast for the Annual Kevin Church Look-a-like Contest! Are you lucky enough to resemble the glorious, shining visage of Kevin Church? Then bust out your Polaroid and send us the proof, babycakes! The top three placers in last year’s contest (Mick Starling, Mitch Stebbling, and Matt Lingster) are this year’s judges…maybe you can be a judge for next year’s event!
  • ***ITEM!*** The new Kevin Church fan club t-shirts are just about ready to roll out, so start saving your pennies, kids, because you’re gonna want to be the first one on your block to have one of these beauties:

    There’s still some tweaking to be done…well, just to our design, not to Kevin Church, who has already achieved perfection.

Okay, guys, that’s all this time! Hopefully I’ll have big news about the Kevin Church action figures and bobbleheads for the next update…but until then, as always, keep on Churchin’!

EDIT (4/2): Here’s a screenshot of the site’s April Fool’s makeover:

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