Mike’s Comic Shop…OF EEEEEEEEVIL.

§ March 5th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized § 1 Comment

Oh, hi! Welcome to our store! Sorry, I know we’re opening a bit late today. We try to shoot for our posted hours, but sometimes, well, you’re gonna be a half-hour or so late. What can you do? I hope you didn’t mind waiting.

Say, that’s a bit of a nasty cough, there. Hmmm? Oh, I don’t think it’s that dusty in here. I assure you, I dust and vacuum at least once a month, whether it needs it or not. Maybe you tracked something in with you.

Is there anything you’re looking f…whoa, hold on, that’s my cell phone. I gotta take it, gimme a sec.

Okay, sorry about that. Is there anything you’re looking for?

The new issue of that Stephen King comic? Sure, we got it here in the case…it’s $7.99.

What’s that? Oh, it’s been out for a week. Yeah, I know the cover price is $3.99, but it’s red hot right now…lots and lots of people are looking for it, and I have to take advantage of that, right? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. I’m gonna make a ton of money on this book, especially once the reorder comes in.

Sure, we’ve got comics for kids. How old is your kid? Six? Well, here’s the new issue of Wolverine. Kids love Wolverine.

Not quite what you want, eh? Krypto? You want that for your kid? Well, it’s your money, I guess. There it is, on the new comic rack…yeah, right there, between Tarot Witch of the Black Rose and Pee Soup.

Hey, you’re right, it does kind of stand out, there.

Well, yeah, the rack isn’t terribly organized, I admit. We tried racking by publisher, and then just straight alphabetically. But we’d go through the trouble of organizing the rack on new comics day, and when the next new comics day rolled around and we checked the rack again, everything was a mess, so we stopped putting it back in order. Hey, if our customers can’t be bothered to care, why should we?

Interested in back issues? Yeah, we’ve got some, here. Silver Age comics? I’ve got a box of ’em around here, somewhere. Hang on, let me look for it.

Ah, here you go. Keep in mind, though, that the new price guide just came out, so we’re in the process of repricing our back issue stock. We should be done in the next week or so. In the meantime, the prices on the back issues may not necessarily be what we’re selling them at. I’ll reprice them at the register when you’re ready to ring up.

Hmmm, didn’t spend too long on the back issues, I see. Well, I’ll let you shop. Lemme know if you need anything.

Oh, got a question? Sure, let me finish this hand of Magic: The Gathering and I’ll be right with you.

So, what’cha need? Manga? Really? Um, okay, I got a couple manga volumes here. I’ve got Dragonball volume 13 and, um, another copy of Dragonball volume 13. Yeah, we’ve had these two for a while. I guess manga isn’t very popular around here.

Say, look what just walked in. Why, hello, miss, how can I service y…er, be of service to you today?

Why, sure we have comics for women. SupergirlWonder WomanWitchblade. They all star chicks. Take your pick!

Huh? Yeah, I know your eyes are up there, why’re you telling me that?

Boy, she sure left quick. Girls, who can figure ’em, am I right, buddy?

Independent comics? Yeah, we got those. Image or Dark Horse?

Neither, huh? Okay, what are you looking for, then?

Love & Rickets? Oh, Rockets, sorry. That a sci-fi comic? Yeah, I don’t think I’ve heard of it. Is it new?

No, I’m pretty sure I don’t have any trade paperbacks of that love rocket book, either. You might want to check our sci-fi/mystery/superhero shelf, there, and see if you spot it.

Yes, our bookshelves are in order. I said it was the “sci-fi/mystery/superhero shelf,” didn’t I? Hey, they’re in better order than the new comics rack, so don’t complain.

Okay, if you’re ready to ring up, just take your stuff to the counter, there. Here, let me move my cheeseburger…watch out, don’t drop your comics on the mustard, there…gotta protect that investment, right?

Lessee…you sure about this Krypto comic? Okay, whatever…oh, hey, you’re buying the new Stormdrain-Runoff Man? I love this issue…I was totally surprised at the end when the hero’s girlfriend turned out to secretly be his archnemesis this whole time.

Huh? You changed your mind? You don’t want it? Boy, fickle, aren’t you?

All right, here’s your total, then. No, that total’s right. Well, yeah, I know the cover price on that Krypto is $2.25, but it’s last month’s issue, which technically makes it a back issue, so I added a buck. Hey, we got a lot of comics in here, I can’t put price tags on everything.

So here’s your change. Sorry, we’re out of pennies and nickels, so I rounded your total up. Hope you don’t mind.

Thanks for shopping! Here, take a business card…tell your frien….

That’s funny, he didn’t want a business card.

Wonder why?

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