"Hmmm…haven’t looked at Petition Online in a while…"
“…let’s see if there’s anything new and intere — WHAT TH–?!”
“Whereas Mr. Judd Winick is a writer of comic books, particularly one comic book titled Green Arrow.
“Whereas the sales of this comic book have dropped at a steady interval over the years that Mr. Judd Winick has been the author of said comic book, consistent in the manner of the readers staging an organized boycott.
“Whereas it is the opinion of the undersigned, that Judd Winick has not done justice to the character of Green Arrow, a nom de plume adopted by the fictional character Oliver Queen.
“Whereas it is the opinion of the undersigned, that the same injustice has been perpetuated upon the supporting cast of the Green Arrow comic book, to wit, Mia Dearden, Connor Hawke, Roy Harper and Dinah Lance and that all of the aforementioned fictional characters have been tampered with in a most unseemly manner.
“Whereas DC Comics, the publisher of the Green Arrow comic book, seem indifferent to falling sales figures and the wishes of their fans for a new writer to be assigned to the comic book in question.
“Whereas Mr. Judd Winick has always been a friend of the Mexican American citizens of, and Mexican Immigrants into, the United States of America.
“We the undersigned do solemnly swear, with our signatures here as oath, not to patronize any local, family-owned Mexican restaurants until such time as Mr. Winick is removed from his position as author of the Green Arrow comic book by the editorial staff of DC Comics or until such time as Mr. Winick freely resigns from his position as author of the Green Arrow comic book.
“It is our hope that Mr. Winick, long known to us as a man of honor, will choose to do the honorable thing and resign before allowing any financial harm to come to the Mexican American restaurants owned by the people he loves so well.”
They’re…they’re joking, right? This is just a prank? Please tell me they’re not serious.
EDIT: According to commenter Steve, this was supposed to be a “joke.” Let us hope.