Guess at which point the conversation goes from "what was actually said" to "what was going on in Mike’s head."

§ November 16th, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Guess at which point the conversation goes from "what was actually said" to "what was going on in Mike’s head."

Person on the phone: “I’ve lived in Ventura all my life, and I have your address here, but I’m not sure where you are. Can you give me an idea where you’re at?”

Me: “Sure…we’re near the corner of Seaward and Main Street.”

P.O.T.P.: “Okay, where is that? What are you near?”

Me: “Um…there’s a cleaners on the corner, we’re right across the street from the huge bike shop, we’re next door to the optometrist….”

P.O.T.P.: “I’m still not sure where you’re at. Is there anything else you’re near?”

Me: “We’re on the other side of Seaward from Ventura High School.”

P.O.T.P.: “Hmmmm, okay, I’m still not sure where you’re at. I’m on Main Street now, by the Target…are you far from there?”

Me: “We’re just a couple miles away. Keep driving down Main, like you’re driving toward Santa Barbara, and we’ll be on the right hand side of the street. If you hit the Seaward intersection, you’ve just passed us.”

P.O.T.P.: “Well, I hope I can find you.”

Me: “Well, since you said you have the address, and you’re already on this street, just drive along Main, which is the main drag through town, which is a fairly straight and uncomplicated thoroughfare, which should be entirely familiar to anyone who’s lived in this town for all their lives, and follow the street numbers on the buildings until you get to the ones that are close to the address you have for us. It’s really not that hard. But failing that, we’re at 34°, 16′, 30″ N by 119°, 13′, 40″ W.”

Epilogue: I don’t think this person ever made it to the store.

So this week’s arrival of the conclusion of Daredevil: Father #6 got me thinking as to how long it took for this series to finally wrap up. I went to our store’s cycle sheets and…well, our Daredevil cycle sheets appear to be not where they’re supposed to be, at the moment, so I checked the dates over at

#1 – 4/28/04
#2 – 8/31/05
#3 – 9/21/05
#4 – 11/9/05
#5 – 12/29/05
#6 – 11/15/06

Well, it looked like issues #2-#5 almost came out on a regular schedule, anyway.

Just out of curiosity, I pulled out the arrival dates for Civil War:

#1 – 5/3/06
#2 – 6/14/06
#3 – 7/19/06
#4 – 9/20/06
#5 – 11/15/06

And just to be a jerk:

Daredevil: The Target #1 – 11/13/02. Issues #2-#4 of the series? Don’t hold your breath.

I would have looked up that Ultimate Hulk Vs. Wolverine (or whatever it’s called), but the thought of it just depressed me.

And just to keep anyone from complaining that my anti-Marvel, pro-DC bias is showing, let’s take a look at, say, Seven Soldiers: the last issue of the Seven Soldiers: Frankenstein series came out on April 26th…and that was it until the conclusion of the series, Seven Soldiers #1 popped up on October 25th.

The botched Wonder Woman relaunch has had only two issues so far, the first arriving on June 7th, the second on August 23rd, the third still pending, apparently.

The last issue of Superman/Batman we’ve seen, aside from the annual, is #29 from 8/30/06.

And then there’s All-Star Batman and Robin, where the series’ chronic lateness problems is its sole flaw:

#1 – 7/13/05
#2 – 9/14/05
#3 – 12/29/05
#4 – 5/17/06

Only one issue for 2006. Geez. But, you know, that’s okay, because I think I got one year’s worth of entertainment out of that issue.

The moral of the story? Companies, please put your comics out on time, because I, as a mere comics salesman, am the one who takes the most crap when your books are late. Thank you.

I’ve been mentioning over the last couple of New Comics Day posts that I’m slowly trying to cut down the reading list a bit, winnowing out the few books that I’ve been buying out of habit and not enjoying. I noted that I was real close to cutting Green Lantern Corps, as I was enjoying the bits with Guy Gardner and, um, not much else. However, this issue kept me around because 1) more Dave Gibbons art, 2) I’m finally beginning to get interested in the other characters, and 3) a couple elements from Alan Moore’s Abin Sur story (from this annual) pop up in this issue (at least, I don’t remember those elements being mentioned in this series before). So, okay, you got me, I’m stickin’ around.

Now, Hellblazer…okay, had this been any other book, I probably would have dropped it, but I like the John Constantine character, and (most importantly) it’s a Swamp Thing spin-off character, so “Fanboy” beats out “Rational Adult in Charge of Finances” in this case. Because, really, I’m oversimplifying things a bit, but John ‘n’ pals are fighting a demon that causes people to be sad, and the way to fight it is be happy and in love. And I think this story has been going on for, like, eight, nine years now. Oh come on.

For reading all that, I give you – Good Lord, that Batgirl costume is even more terrifying in real life. Egads. And this instills fear in nobody.

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