Semi-reviews, and I tempt the fates with merchandising ideas.

§ October 29th, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Semi-reviews, and I tempt the fates with merchandising ideas.

Okay, fine, I’m rereading Grant Morrison’s Seven Soldiers of Victory mini-series…I think the problem I had absorbing the contents of the concluding one-shot comes from the fact that the darned thing came out so behind schedule that I don’t remember the details from the previous issues.

I’m reading the minis in alphabetical order — I’m halfway through Klarion — and I’m noticing is that these comics read at a lightning pace. No lulls in the action, no wasted words and/or images, all killer, no filler. What a breath of fresh air it is to read a funnybook that is so well-tuned, effortlessly pulling the reader along from beginning to end. These past couple of weeks I’ve read a couple comics that were a real chore to get through, where it was as if the creators of the book were daring you to try to slog through to whatever passed for the comic’s conclusion, and the Seven Soldiers comics are a nice contrast.

So, yeah, I’m enjoying the rereading.

Watched the Hellboy: Sword of Storms animated movie on Cartoon Network Saturday evening, and…well, don’t really have much to say about it. It did its job, told its story, the characters were attractively drawn and well-voiced, there was humor to the script…it was perfectly acceptable light entertainment. Characterization was minimal, restricted mostly to Liz being mopey about her lot in life, but the focus was on Hellboy fighting monsters, and there was plenty of monster-fightin’ to be had.

It was fun, if not exceptional, but it was certainly better than the Ultimate Avengers 2 movie. But then, a blank screen may have been better than Ultimate Avengers 2.

And as long as I’m in a reviewin’ mood…for the most part, I’ve been enjoying Justice, Alex Ross’ extended tribute to the Super Friends cartoon and the comics of his youth, even with the occasionally-obvious undercurrent of “today’s DC Comics are bad, Sue should still be alive, Barry and Hal should always be best pals,” etc. But this latest issue had a confrontation between Plastic Man and Elongated Man that…excuse me for a second, I can’t believe I actually just typed that. Well. Anyway, those two characters have a pissing match over who belongs in the Justice League more, and it felt less like a reasonable argument between two adults and more like a kid playing with with Plastic Man and Elongated Man action figures, making ’em fight: “I’m the League’s stretchy guy!” “No, I’m the League’s stretchy guy!” Not that superhero comics are usually paragons of realistic relationships or anything, but this particular exchange seemed awfully forced, more the result of “hey, we’ve never seen PM and EM really have it out over their places in the JLA…that’d be cool!”

What was cool was seeing the Phantom Stranger pop up in this issue. It’s nice that folks remember that he’s kinda/sorta a member of the team…okay, he was invited, he never officially said “yes” as far as I know, but that’s close enough for me. Hey, we’re all dorks about something.

So we’ve had stake replicas, necklace replicas, plushie stakes, stuffed pig replicas…what other Buffy the Vampire Slayer replica could they unleash upon the world?

My idea was a model of Gile’s car, scaled for action figure use. And if the figures lack sufficient articulation to be able to be seated in the car…well, that means it’s time for a whole new line of BTVS “Car-ready Super Articulated Action Figures!”

I’d mentioned this to pal Dorian, who told me that there have been die-cast versions of Buffy vehicles already. Obviously they’re not sized for use with action figures, but I’d honestly thought Buffy cars hadn’t yet been merchandised.

Dor’s idea for BTVS merchandise is a clothing line, so folks can dress like their favorite Buffy/Angel characters. “Here’s the shirt Tara wore in episode #117!” You know, like that. My initial thought was an overpriced replica of Spike’s leather jacket, which seems like a natural.

It seems to me that this would have already been done, but my brief Google-fu attempt reveals nothing except your standard silk-screened Buffy t-shirts. If it has been done, let me know…or, perhaps, let me live on in blissful ignorance instead.

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