§ September 4th, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century #15 (March 1982)
We join the 25th century, which is already in progress, in a space observation center, where “nearby sectors of space are constantly monitored.” And this monitoring has turned up something…unusual:
It’s identified as “an old-style Earth bomb,” which looks like a huge ol’ jungle gym:
…And Captain Buck Rogers and Colonel Wilma Deering are on the case, zipping towards the massive construct in their space jets. Wilma makes her approach, only to discover that the bomb has ways of defending itself:
Buck and the world’s most annoying robot, Twiki, take a different approach, leaving the ship behind and using a potentially dangerous handheld jet to zip ’em over to the artifact, presumably under the impression that a defense system that so easily deflected a spacecraft couldn’t possibly do anything to a guy in a spacesuit and his robot hitchhiker:
Oh shut up, Twiki.
Anyway, as soon as they’re on the bomb, the defenses once again spring into life! Buck and Twiki evade the laser attack by, apparently, jumping faster than the speed of light:
They then jump to a door, in order to draw the laser fire to that door in order to blast it open:
Oh shut up, Twiki.
Buck’s plan works, as the lasers destroy the door and giving Buck and Twiki access to the corridor beyond, even though the entire construct is apparently comprised of open latticework that they easily could have climbed through.
As they make their way through the artifact, avoiding electrified catwalks and a solid steel cage that, coincidentally, was perfectly sized to catch Twiki, they find themselves on a long catwalk that appears open. Open, that is, except for some large “coffin”-shaped boxes. As they approach, the boxes open, revealing:
Robots with swords.
ROBOTS WITH SWORDS.
ROBOTS WITH SWORDS.
Fantastic. Well, I suppose the robots couldn’t be armed with projectile or laser weapons, to avoid damaging the bomb, but, um, everything else on the ship fires lasers or (as we’ll see) projectiles, so there goes that explanation, I guess.
Well, doesn’t matter, because ROBOTS WITH SWORDS!
Anyway, after some swash-Buck-ling (sorry) swordfighting, the robots are defeated and Buck and Twiki face more lasers and, get this, a giant falling blade:
Oh shut up, Twiki.
Nearing the end of their search, Buck and Twiki find themselves in a hall of mirrors, which absorb laser blasts and, when probed with a pipe, seems to hold the pipe fast, “hanging in space on the other side” as Buck says.
Previous vistors to the bomb encountering the mirror hall were less cautious (didn’t I see something like this in a Dungeons & Dragons campaign somewhere?):
Passing though the mirrored corridor, they find themselves in view of the detonation box…but as they approach, they hear a ticking noise in the vacuum of space. Apparently they’ve set off a timer, which will cause the artifact to explode!
As they rush to the deactivate the bomb, they suddenly find themselves under fire, not from lasers, but from, of all things, bullets! Buck’s ankle is lightly grazed by a bullet and he immediately collapses, the wuss:
Buck bravely sends Twiki ahead while he nurses his bruise. (I mean, c’mon…okay, you and me, we’d drop like a load of sand if we got shot in the ankle, but what kind of hero lets something like that slow him down? Geez.) Twiki busts open the detonator’s case, but doesn’t know which wires to cut. At first, Buck doesn’t seem to know how to help, but suddenly:
And Twiki does as he’s told, and the day is saved. But how did Buck…well, I’ll let Twiki ask, I guess:
Yes, it’s as I’ve always figured…whenever I paid my AT&T bill, I was funding the future construction of huge jungle gym-shaped space bombs populated by laser and projectile guns, giant blades, electrified floors, magical mirror traps, and, lest we forget, ROBOTS WITH SWORDS.
Well, if we’re gonna get robots with swords, I suppose I’m okay with it.
And shut up, Twiki.
§ September 3rd, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Post #1500
DOR ‘N’ MIKE, JUNIOR DETECTIVES
in
“THE CASE OF THE MISSING MANGA”
Chapter One: The Game’s Afoot!
“Jeepers!” exclaimed Dor. “It just doesn’t make sense!”
Dor was standing in front of the large shelving unit, staring at the rows and rows of paperback manga books, mindlessly twirling his oversized magnifying glass in one hand. To the untrained eye, the shelves looked as if they were fully stocked, but Dor knew better.
Mike, Dor’s fellow detective, stood at the store’s front counter, notebook and pencil in hand. “You say the manga is missing? That someone stole the books from you?”
“No, no, it wasn’t like that at all,” came the reply. The store’s proprietor, the kindly Mr. Daniels, shook his head sadly. “They never arrived at all.”
Mike was puzzled. “Wait a minute…if you never had them, how could they be stolen from you?”
“Look here,” Dor called out to Mike. “Take a look at this shelf. See the books there?”
Mike stood beside Dor and peered at where he was pointing. “Yes, I see…Dynamic Hero Gunface volumes one through nine. What about them?”
Mr. Daniels replied before Dor could answer. “I was able to order those first nine volumes of Dynamic Hero Gunface from the publisher, and I expected that I’d be able to order the rest of the series as well. However, starting with volume ten, I’m no longer able to carry the series, no longer able to offer them to our customers, even after spending time and effort to build an audience for them at my shop.”
“So who’s doing this to you?” Mike asked, anger flushing his cheeks. “Hmmm…maybe one of our old nemeses…the dread pirate Evilbeard, perhaps, hijacking your shipments? Or maybe that local crimeboss Fleshhead, putting pressure on the distributors….”
Dor shook his head. “No, Mike, that’s just it. That’s what’s not making sense. Mr. Daniels says it’s the publisher who’s holding the books from his shop. And not just his shop, but shops like his all around the world…allegedly so they can sell the books directly to the customers themselves.”
“WHAT?” Mike exclaimed. “Why, that would risk undermining retailer confidence in ordering and supporting future products…what publisher would want to do that?”
“It certainly is a stumper,” came Dor’s reply. “And I want answers.”
“As do I,” said Mr. Daniels.
“And that makes three of us,” said Mike. “Mr. Daniels…never fear, for Dor ‘n’ Mike, Junior Detectives, are on the case! We’ll get to the bottom of this nefarious scheme!”
Ah, don’t take any of that seriously…it’s just a goof. I just wanted an excuse to have pal Dorian saying “Jeepers!” Anyway, thank you for reading/enjoying/tolerating my first 1,500 posts, and hopefully you’ll be around for the next 1,500. Hopefully I’ll be around for them too!
§ September 1st, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Here and there and everywhere.
Regarding my comments yesterday: I’m not really angry over the Tokyopop thing, just more, well, miffed, I guess. We just had a sudden surge of interest in Dragon Head, for example, which is one of the titles moving to online-only sales with future volumes.
Just one more thing to add to the list of reasons why it’s so great to sell funnybooks for a living.
Also, I was asked by some customers who I thought was going to take over Astonishing X-Men after Joss Whedon completes his run. Well, first, the end of his run is about, what, seven or eight issues away, so Marvel still has a couple years to think about it. Two, since the Astonishing X-Men title was seemingly specifically created for Whedon in order to contain the inherent lateness issues (since it’s doubtful that Marvel would want a Whedon run delaying the schedule of, say, the long-established Uncanny), I kinda, sorta hoped that Marvel was planning on ending the series with his departure.
But then I realized what I was suggesting, that Marvel willingly drop a best-selling X-title, even after the primary reason for that book’s sales departs, and am thus resigned to having another ongoing monthly X-Men team title.
But if I had to pick a new creative team for the title…Frank Miller and Brian Bolland. I can’t foresee any problems with that.
In other news:
I can’t believe pal Dorian has been keeping up this side project for four months now. The jerk.
Here, have some nightmarish Jim Woodring toys (contains Flash animation, sound, creepiness). (via)
It’s the sixth anniversary of Comic Book Galaxy…what doesn’t kill it makes it stronger. Six years is like 70 in blog years, so good on them for lasting this long.
God has answered my prayers: Marvel Comics has an official message board. From the “First Movie o.k. , Next Movie probably better” Fantastic Four thread:
“I just dont thin k the average movie public would buy into but who says we have to make movies for the right”
“Yea, screw the public! It is time for us geeks to rise up and claim Hollywood for ourselves!”
“thats what ive been sying its time we geeks got some stuff don besides be kept down by the man and reading the best form of entertaiment to exist
“I love you comic books”
And I love you, Marvel Comics message board.
