Things found in the Miscellaneous Publisher boxes.

§ August 19th, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Things found in the Miscellaneous Publisher boxes.

from the back cover of Project: NewMan #1 (1991) – art by Mark Poe

Some muscled superhero in a mask and a form-fitting outfit, carrying a shield and a gun? Nope, never seen anything like it ever.

This next item is from a house ad in Solson Publications’ Ninjutsu: The Art of the Ninja #1 (1986):

I don’t know if the Sylvester Stallone Guide to Movie-Making was ever published or not…I certainly hope so, because I’d love to see it. After all, the ad says the comic includes the following:

  • How to Choreograph Killings, Gun-Crazed Mobs (And Scenes of Otherwise Total Destruction & Utter Chaos!
  • How to Grunt, Mutter, & Mumble The Way The Big-Time Action Stars Do!
  • Get Tall, Beautiful Women To Fall All Over You!
  • Attend Swank Hollywood Parties! Hire an Entourage! Impress Your Friends!
  • Spell “Schwarzenegger” Incorrectly!

Okay, I added that last one.

And now, something so wonderful, so outstanding, found in the back pages of Shadow Cross #3 (December 1995), that I find myself forced to audioblog it. Prepare yourself for my melodious (or is that “malodorous?”) tones as I bring you the poem “Die Vampire Scum,” as written by the presumably-pseudonymous Valentine:

this is an audio post - click to play

If the reader-submitted poems that kept littering the Sandman letters pages were this great, I wouldn’t have minded them as much. Well played, Valentine, well played.

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