Progressive Ruin Presents…The End of Civilization.

§ June 29th, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Progressive Ruin Presents…The End of Civilization.

Yeah, I know, all you folks are busy with the Superman Returns-seein’, but I was busy with pouring through the new issue of Diamond Previews, and these…are my results:

(Previous installments: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16)

p. 141 – Joss Whedon Is My Master Now T-Shirt: “The fellow who did a couple reasonably entertaining TV shows and a handful of fair-to-middling movies is my master now” didn’t fit, I guess. Oh, relax, I’m only teasing. Though I have to wonder if Mr. Whedon gets a little embarrassed when he sees folks wearing this shirt.

p. 151 – Shadowhawk #15: The entirety of the description of this issue’s contents: “Eddie gets laid. Finally.” Okay, I’m hardly a fan of the comic, but that is kinda funny…particularly with the faux romance comic cover.

p. 178-9 – Astonishing X-Men Wolverine Mask Prop Replica:


And that is why Hugh Jackman didn’t wear the comic book Wolverine costume in the X-Men movies.

p. 202 – The Vault of Michael Allred #1:

“It’s unlikely that any publication has ever provided this amount of detail and insight into the career of an artist.”

Ahem.

p. 223 – Soulfire #10: Final issue. Relaunching with a “Volume 2” and, presumably, a new #1 issue. Color me surprised. (See also the dozen or so Fathom #1s from the same folks.)

p. 254 – Classic Battlestar Galactica #1: Yes, you read that right. A comic based on the original 1970s Battlestar Galactica TV series will be running concurrently with a comic based on the current Sci-Fi Channel series. You know what that means, don’t you?

EARTH-1 BATTLESTAR GALACTICA VERSUS EARTH-2 BATTLESTAR GALACTICA!*


Earth-2 Adama versus Earth-1 Adama…to the death! (E-2 Adama has the advantage, with his healthy coat and strong teeth, thanks to Alpo!)


Will Earth-2 Boomer face changed attitudes from his shipmates when they find out his Earth-1 counterpart is actually a Cylon?


Will Earth-2 Starbuck put the moves on Earth-1 Starbuck? (Of course he will…it’s Starbuck.)


p. 296 – Whoops…they put a Grimjack picture to illustrate the ad for the new Jon Sable reprint. Just thought I’d point that out.

p. 380 – Infinite Crisis mass market paperback: A prose retelling of DC’s recent reality-altering mini-series. Given how successful the Crisis on Infinite Earths novelization was (short review: blech), I’m fully calling “no way” on coherently explaining the events of the series to someone who hasn’t read the comics (in the unlikely circumstance that someone who hasn’t read the comics actually picks it up).

Don’t get me wrong…I’m still getting it. Yeah, I don’t know why, either. I’m just a sucker for these things, I guess.

p. 428 – Monty Python Series Plush Holy Grail:

“This is the Holy Grail. It is your sacred task to seek and purchase this Grail. That is your purpose, the quest to buy this Holy Grail. (NOTE: Quester/purchaser must be valiant and pure of spirit, otherwise, after purchase, said purchase may turn into a grail-shaped 9″ plush.”)

p. 432 – V for Vendetta 7-Inch Action Figure: I’m of mixed feelings about the movie, but a V action figure? Fantastic.

p. 450 – Alien Kubricks: Space Jockey Box Set: Okay, this is pretty neat…I remember being fascinated with this critter from the original Alien movie, and the toy is tempting. I find myself amused, though, that the essentially immobilized Jockey was given a moveable arm:


And I think that hand is holding a control of some kind, but I prefer to think it’s a gun. Oh, if only that were true.

p. 482 – Kurt Cobain 2006 Shooter Set:


I realize that’s what you call this kind of glassware, but honestly, hearing a Kurt Cobain anything described as a “shooter” makes me wince a little.

p. 482 – Insane Clown Posse Steering Wheel Cover: “If only I had a way to identify myself as a person of class and taste. Wait, what’s this…?”

* Yes, I know there’s an irony of a sort referring to the different BGs with a term that includes the word “Earth,” since, you know, that’s the mysterious planet the characters are seeking in both series, and, um…okay, I’ll stop now.

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