Dear DC Forums: don’t ever change. Love, Mike.

§ June 13th, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Dear DC Forums: don’t ever change. Love, Mike.

So the whole “gay Batwoman” thing has inspired some related lines of inquiry:

“Should Lois become a Lesbian?”

“Let’s face it, if Lesbians are this trendy, maybe DC’s most endurung female character should take the plunge. People have been complaining for years about how ‘stale’ the marrage is, this is one way to really perk it up. You would’nt have to to worry about the Clark, Lois, Superman triangle, because you could have the Superman, Lois, Wonder Woman Triangle or the Lois, Lana, Lori triangle to add a bit of seafood. Let’s face it, Lois has always been pretty butch so the transition should be easy. I say, strike while the iron is hot, or whatever.”

“HELL NO!!!!!!! why does everyone want gay charactors.Im not against them but I dont think everyone needs to go gay,just my opinion,”

“I hear they’re gonna do a Vicki Vale, Catwoman, and Julie Madison triangle first.
If enough people don’t retch, they may actually consider doing something similar with the Super-Family.”

“That would pretty much be the dumbest idea yet. Seems like DC couldn’t have made a bigger mistake by turning characters gay. Now all we have is talk about what characters should be next. Whatever happened to discussing stories?”

“i hear lois will be a lesbo in ‘Singerman Returns.’ This is an ‘issues’ movie after all, and her kid was artificially inseminated.”

“Well I guess some of you have finally figured out what DC’s next big crossover event is going to be, Sexual Identity Crisis. When the Rainbow Raider and Trickster get together for a little fun something goes wrong, terribly wrong and before they know it 99% of the people on Earth have changed their sexual preference.”

“I say make every one gay in the DCU for a year and all of the gay/lesbian characters straight and make all of the white characters black and the black/brown//yellow characters white and the green characters red and the blue characters orange.”

“f they go the Batwoman route, then they should bring in “Lois Lane” as a totally new character–no relation to the other Lois Lane and all the previous continuity instantly becomes defunct. This character then has a relationship with Maggie Sawyer. Sawyer dies, and Lois becomes Superwoman to avenge Maggie’s death.”

“I think it would be dumb to maker a lesbian. Better to make her a polyamorous bi-sexual.”

“Yes Lois should become a lesbian.She should then have an affair with Lana Lang and then Wonder Woman and then have one big lesbian orgy with the previously mentioned and Selina Kyle,Supergirl,Powergirl and of course Renne Montoya & Kate Kane…hell why stop there,why not make it an orgy with every female in the DC Universe invited.
My sarcasm amuses me…”

“If people really want to read about DC characters gettin down n’ dirty with each other then there are PLENTY of fan fiction sites on the net.”

“Batman vs. ZOD!!!”

“Always kinda pondered on this paticular thought of should our Bats ever be forced to have no choice but to face off for the sake of ALL humanity (just say all his other commrades including Kal, Kara, Diana, Kara Zor-L… ect are down for the count by this stage on the DCU’s earth) against the almighty demonic Kryptonian smarts and might of ol’ Zod HIMSELF exactly how would y’all here possibly see the only logical outcome of this here dire situation playing out as?”

“wouldn’t happen
DC wouldn’t let Batman face this kind of enemy. […] But Zod would win”

“I wouldn’t write off Batman just yet. Zod has one major obvious flaw, his colossal arrogance. Still, if it comes down to these two, I agree Earth is pretty much screwed.”

“…Batman will never fall to ANY character, let alone a wimp like ZOD!”

“Zod trying to get the batsmear of his boots would take longer then the actuall fight.”

“It’s Zod. Why does he even care about Batman? why try and find him and fight him up close and personal-like? Why not just throw one of Jupiter’s moons at Gotham City… and then another at Metropolis… maybe a third into New York City… Halley’s Comet into Paris… Phobos at Tokyo…
That should take care of the Batman pretty well, along with pretty much all other life on Earth as well.
I’m sure Batman has plans somewhere for how he can use just the right leverage and tautness on his grapple to save the Earth from a bombardment of astronomical objects… but can he do it without setting himself up for a long-range heat vision sniper shot?”

“Actually you can’t disregard kryptonite bullets.”

“Ah, but you’re forgetting that Batman, being a complete wuss, absolutely refuses to kill.”


“Does anyone else think Gil Kane was a hack?”

“I mean he takes Alan Scott, adds some air force fighter pilot Cold War propaganda, and then does a bunch of crappy and poorly drawn panels. Its an insult to the creators before and since who actually put thought into their work.”

Someone apparently waited ’til now to get pissed about the Silver Age revamp of the Green Lantern concept (though most likely it’s just someone purposefully flame-baiting). Most of the responding commenters deliver Kane-style roundhouse punches to the very idea.

As one commenter says:

“The funny thing about it is that [the poster] may have united most of the GL fans on this board for once…against him!”

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