Progressive Ruin Presents…The End of Civilization.

§ May 25th, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Progressive Ruin Presents…The End of Civilization.

Well, those oddball items in the new issue of Diamond Previews (the June 2006 ish) won’t make fun of themselves, so let’s get started, shall we? (Previous installments: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15…I’ve been doing this for 16 months? Oh Lordy.)

p. 192 – Wizard Magazine #179: Apparently this issue is going to include an article titled “100 Worst Things Ever to Happen to Comics.” I wonder if the early ’90s debut of a certain colorful price guide mag and its encouragement of the speculator market of that time is on the list? (Oh SNAP.)

p. 243 – Lady Death: Fetishes 2006 – “Special Mistress Cover”: Sometimes the Lady Death comics just hurt my brain. There’s also a gold foil edition available on page 253.

p. 245 – Teenage Murder Bait One-Shot Special Edition:

“Wasted youth, teen corruption, drugs, sex and horny teenage girls – tales of all can be found within these pages!”


p. 260 – Darkman Vs. The Army of Darkness #1:

“Dynamite presents the crossover no one thought they would ever see….”

I’ll say. I was all ready to make fun of this comic, but Kurt Busiek, Roger Stern, and James Fry comprise the creative team, and George Perez is providing one of the covers, so, you know, what the heck, could be fun. And you all like the Darkman, don’t you? Don’t you?

p. 333 – Tokyopop is releasing a classic Star Trek manga, just in time to celebrate the 40th anniversary of what’s left of the franchise. Includes a “collectible cover exclusive to Diamond customers.”

p. 399 – How not to sell your Superman shirt:

Oh my goodness, that’s some unfortunate phrasing. (EDIT: Joe Rice noted it as well.)

p. 438 – Star Wars Yoda Back Buddy:

The needle’s goin’ back and forth between “Cute” and “Creepy” on this item.

p. 450-2 – Urn of Osiris Buffy the Vampire Slayer Prop Replica: Limited to 1000 pieces, hand-painted, and comes with a certificate of authenticity, acrylic display case, and “care instructions” (“Don’t let your significant other find out you spent 90 bucks on this, or you’re gonna end up wearing it”).

p. 452 – Harry Potter: Hermione Granger Mini-Bust: Attention, dirty old men….

p. 468 – The Freak Brothers Resin Statues: Includes all three brothers, plus Fat Freddy’s Cat. Alas, it’s 500 bones for the whole set, but man, they are pretty cool. So, in case any of you out there who had been wondering what to buy me for Christmas….

p. 469-70 – Pullip Fashion Dolls: GAZE INTO THE EYES OF YOUR DOOM:

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