Progressive Ruin Presents The End of…well, you know.

§ April 27th, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Progressive Ruin Presents The End of…well, you know.

But first, a couple notes about new comics day:

Hey, a New Avengers cover that actually reflects the contents of the comic! In this case, the marriage of Luke Cage and Brian Mich…er, Jessica Jones. In fairness, I do like this cover, strangely gentle and charming compared to the others in the series.

What Were They Thinking: Some People Never Learn, the new wacky one-shot from Boom Studios, is silly fun. The premise, where Keith Giffen, Mike Leib, John Rogers, and others supply new dialogue to some old, public domain funnybook stories, is amusing…though seeing this comic just makes me wish we could have the original comics just printed “as is” without the redialoguing gimmick. Sorry, just being a killjoy, don’t mind me. But there are a few good laughs in this issue (one of my favorites is an art credit for one story, given as “a past master who deserved better”), and you get some nice Basil Wolverton art to boot.

We also received our huge boatload of Free Comic Book Day comics…in fact, my dad stopped by the store to borrow my truck, and we recruited him to help us unload the boxes. NO ONE IS SAFE. Anyway, even with the bazillion boxes we received, we still didn’t receive our freebie books from Archie and Bongo. Oy. If I have to wait ’til next week for the replacements, that’s gonna put a hitch in my sorting the books for distribution on FCBD.

On a non-comics note, I received my copy of Frederick C. Wiebel’s Backwards into The Future: The Recorded History of the Firesign Theatre directly from the author, and I am thanked on the acknowledgement pages. I had contributed a couple scans (though it doesn’t appear they made it into the book), and had otherwise been a longtime supporter of his Firesign-related endeavors, and it cheered me up immensely after a somewhat stressful day to see my name listed there. Thanks, Fred!

And now, what you’ve been waiting for/expecting/dreading/planning to scroll quickly by: Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization. (Previous installments: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 — do you folks even need these links?) Grab Volume XVI, issue #5 of Diamond Previews and follow along, no?

p. 120 – Swamp Thing #29 – Now, I’ve been asked by a few people what I think about this being the final issue of this latest Swamp Thing series. And, honestly…it doesn’t really bother me. I’ve enjoyed some of the stories, but never really warmed to the series as a whole. It never seemed to escape the long shadow of the previous series, and I’m beginning to think a fresh start away from the previous strands of continuity may be necessary to give a new Swamp Thing series a chance. I wouldn’t even mind having Swampy back in the mainstream DC Universe, teaming up with Batman, hanging with Superman…but I’m not going to hold my breath. So anyway, sorry to see it go, better luck next time.

p. 124 – Aquaman 13″ Deluxe Collector Figure – my, that’s some shiny fabric.

p. 151 – Todd McFarlane Archive fine art print:

“Own a piece of SPAWN history: the lovingly re-colored cover to SPAWN #2. Printed as an 11″ x 17″ image on 13″ x 17″ extra thick museum quality stock. Strictly limited to 250 pieces.”


p. 270 – Battlestar Galactica #1:

“Picking up from the final pages of the best-selling #0 issue….”

By “best-selling,” they mean “ordered in large quantities by retailers, but the issue hasn’t actually shipped out yet so we have no idea how it’ll be received by actual readers.”

p. 366 – Swampmen: Muck Monsters of the Comics – Oh, you huge teases. It better not get delayed again or there’ll be heck to pay. HECK, I tell you!

p. 390 – V for Vendetta: From Script to Film – “This film isn’t stupid enough! ADD MORE STUPID.” (Okay, to be fair, this happens to nearly every movie.)

p. 394 – Erotic Manga: Draw Like The Experts TP:

“…This guide to drawing the characteristic erotic manga characters seen on shonen and softcore hentai comics.”

Oh, I don’t know if this is a good idea.

p. 399 – Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way SC – I only mention this since some of you have been puzzled by one of my “since 1969” quotes that references this book.

p. 419 – Okay, now this is cool…t-shirts featuring the EC Comics horror hosts the Crypt-Keeper, the Old Witch, the Vault-Keeper, as well as the EC logo. Oh, man, I want all of them.

p. 423 – Star Wars: Vader, Fett & Lando ringer t-shirt: I don’t know why this makes me laugh, but it just does.

p. 436 – McFarlane Monsters’ Greatest Women Previews U.S. Exclusive 3-Pack: a rerelease of three figures from previous McFarlane Monster sets…well, take a look your own self. Bondage, blood, and…um, bikinis, I guess. I imagine this will probably sell fairly well, since I’m still getting requests for those figures even now.

p. 442 – Necronomicon Plush Book:


p. 460 – Star Wars Interactive R2-D2 Figure:

“Grab his attention by saying ‘Hey, Artoo!’ and he’s ready for more than 40 voice commands! Ask him if he remembers his famous friends, like Luke Skywalker, C-3P0 or Jabba the Hutt. Each name will stir up a different response depending on Artoo’s ‘feelings’ for that character.”

Okay, that sounds silly, but he does other things, too, like “jazz[ing] up your next party with ‘Spin The Droid.'” Um, yeah. And since when is Jabba one of Artoo’s friends?

p. 468 – Pirates of the Caribbean II: Davey Jones’ Key Replica:

Man, you’ve got to be a fan to buy this.

p. 514 – POG Marvel Series 1 Foil Packs & POG Marvel Series 1 Slammers: NO, NO, PLEASE GOD DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN.

p. 516 – V for Vendetta Dagger Prop Replica: So it only looks like a pointy, presumably sharp dagger, but not actually? I’m assuming it’s permanently mounted in the “shadowbox,” so no one can get stabbed by it…but what an odd thing to memorialize from this film.

p. 516 – Mr. T in Your Pocket Keychain:

“It includes such phrases as ‘Shut up fool!’, ‘Don’t gimme no back talk, sucka!’, and ‘Don’t make me mad! Grrrr!'”

I don’t care what you think…I need this. I want Mr. T in my pocket, and I don’t care who knows it.

p. 526 – Elvis Collector’s Edition Yahtzee: licensing has now officially gone too far…at least until the next installment of The End of Civilization, when I’m sure I’ll find something even more horrifying.

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