Stupid Mike, Stupid Diamond, Comic Books, and the End of Civilization.

§ March 23rd, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Stupid Mike, Stupid Diamond, Comic Books, and the End of Civilization.

Well, a few days ago I made a post allegedly pointing to the Snakes on a Plane trailer, but botched the link. Here it is for the three of you who haven’t seen it yet. Oh, God, will this be brilliant.

Latest Diamond Comics shipping shortage report: no Hawkgirl, no JSA Classified, no Hulk, missing most of our Sgt. Rocks, our extra Marvel catalogues, missing another couple dozen indie titles, graphic novels, and books, and also missing Sable & Fortune, but we’re ordering so few of that particular comic we might as well not get it.

We’ve been having shortages like this consistently over the last few weeks, as I may have noted a time or two on this site. It’s exceedingly frustrating, particularly since we’re still out stuff that didn’t show up from previous weeks. We’re out the most recent Spider-Girl, for instance…hope none of our customers wanted it that badly.

Sigh…this industry, I swear.

Not really much in a mood to discuss new comics, but I’ll make a note about a few things:

Sgt. Rock: The Prophecy #3 – TOLD YOU.

Jeremiah Harm #2 – While I generally enjoyed the first issue, the alien setting was a little distancing…now that the action is on Earth, things are a bit more relatable. Harm finds himself in a clinic, confronted by a couple nurses who understandably think he’s just a crazy man, and not a bounty hunter from space, leading to some entertaining banter among the three of them. So entertaining, in fact, that when the focus of the book turns to the alien baddies and what they’re getting up to, it’s not as interesting as the Harm segments. Not that it’s bad, by any means, just that the alien villains of the piece aren’t as interesting as Harm himself. Rael Lyra’s art is rough and ugly, but that’s not a criticism! Rough and ugly is what’s called for by the story, with highly detailed dilapidated scenery, worn and rugged people, brutal action…Lyra does a great job with real visual flair, presenting a down and dirty setting without felling oppressive. Good work all around…Ross, give these guys a raise!

Transformers Generations #1 – Reprints #7 of the original Marvel Comics Transformers series. Dear IDW: perhaps reminding the few remaining Transformers fans of the comics they actually liked, as opposed to what you’re currently publishing now, is not the best idea.

Supergirl & The Legion of Super-Heroes – Okay, I had someone come in on Wednesday asking me what’s happened to the Legion since he last read it…which was about the time of the original Crisis on Infinite Earths. The idea that each reboot was independant of the others, and that in the original post-Crisis Legion Superboy was in fact from an alternate dimension, and that the reboot just prior was in fact allegedly the “Earth 2” Legion (thanks for letting out that tidbit of info, whoever did so)…well, I did my best, let’s put it that way. Okay, none of that had anything to do with this comic, aside from trying to explain 1) “One Year Later” and 2) what Supergirl is doing in it. My head hurts.

And now, Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization. Crack open your copy of Diamond Previews (not your mint, sealed copy, natch, but the second copy you bought to read) and follow along! (Previous installments: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13)

p. 168-9 – Sex Pistols 3-D Album Cover Art: Now, I can understand doing this cover, but Never Mind the Bollocks? That doesn’t seem terribly exciting.

p. 188-9 – X-Men The Last Stand Movie Prop Replica Jewelry: X-shaped cufflinks, and a “Jean Grey Pendant Replica.” “…This high-quality wearable prop replica is a timeless and stunning piece sure to be noticed.” A giant, tacky gold phoenix with red jewel-like dangly bits? I’ll say it’ll be noticed.

p. 190-1 – Alex Ross Wolverine Mini-Head Bust: “Quick, we need the world’s ugliest Wolverine bust!” “No problem, boss – here it is!”

p. 236-7 – Shrugged #1:

“You’ve experienced the thrill of Shrugged: Beginnings, and you’ve explored the mystery of Shrugged #0. Now, prepare yourself for the debut of Aspen’s newest breakout series, Shrugged #1…because you haven’t seen ANYTHING yet!”

Um, presumably by this time you have seen something…the first two issues of the Shrugged series prior to the “debut” issue. This “multiple first issues” stuff was bullshit in the comics-investment heyday of the ’90s, and it’s bullshit now.

p. 305 – Angel: The Curse Cover Gallery: All 300 multiple covers (perhaps I overestimate slightly) from the mini-series, gathered together under one cover. If you didn’t get the puppet cover, now’s your chance.

p. 384 – Cosplay Girls Revised Ed TP:

“All over Japanm [sic] hard-core fans of animatrion [sic], video games and manga comics are hitting the streets in their latest cosplay outfits – especially women! […] Here you will find street-fighting tough chicks, emerald-haired princesses, school girls with an attitude, faux-fur-kittens and more.”

This makes me feel uncomfortable.

p. 413 – Star Wars: Sith Lord T-Shirt:


p. 432 – Star Trek 40th Anniversary Phaser: It’s a “limited edition” phaser with a bronze handle. Really. Go look.

p. 440 – Frankie Raye Mini-Bust: Okay, I’ve tried to avoid making the obvious “bust” jokes in the past in regards to these statues, but honestly:

…they make it so difficult to resist, sometimes.

p. 440-1 – And don’t get me started on the Mary Jane Watson statue:

Some of you may be familiar with what they used to do on old pulp magazine covers…basically dressing the pretty ladies on the covers in very little clothing, or flesh-colored clothing, to make it appear at first glance that they’re in fact in the altogether, causing browsers to take a second look (and bring them that much closer to parting with that hard earned dime, or quarter, for the pulp in question). Just sayin’, is all.

p. 460 – Space 1999 Eagle Die-Casts: Now, I always liked the look of the Space 1999 spaceships, but not enough to drop 75 bones on a little metal replica…imported from England or not.

p. 463 – Jim Woodring’s Frank Toy & Pupshaw/Pushpaw Toy Set: Tempting, but at $24.99/$39.99 respectively, I just can’t swing it this time around…baby needs shoes, after all. They’re neat, though, if you’re Frank fans…and I know you are.

p. 474 – Freddy Krueger Glove Prop Replica: There is no amount of explaining you can do to justify having Freddy’s bladed glove on display in a glass box in your living room. It can’t be done. Sorry.

p. 475 – Pirates of the Caribbean Fireplace Set:

“Now you can not only shiver your timbers, but burn them with this set of full-sized fireplace tools, patterned after the pirate cutlasses seen in the Disney hit, Pirates of the Caribbean! A unique piece of home decor.”

p. 486 – Superman Returns Collector’s Edition Monopoly & James Bond 007 Collector’s Edition Monopoly: Pretty soon there are going to be Monopoly boards personalized for every single man, woman, and child in the United States and, probably, abroad. “Mike Sterling Collector’s Edition Monopoly comes with six Sterling-themed pewter tokens: Swamp Thing, Camel Hair Toupee, Long-Suffering & Extremely Patient Girlfriend, Diet Coke Can, Four-Year-Old Macintosh Computer, and Debt.”

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