Top hats, old people, new comics, and the End of Civilization.

§ February 23rd, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Top hats, old people, new comics, and the End of Civilization.

So for new comics day, the decision was made that the store must change its name to “Top Hat & Monocle Comics” — with top hats and, yes, monocles being the required store uniform.

That would be reason #14 not to drink on the job.

We also started the day off breaking down the Diamond order by listening to “Deteriorata” from one of the CDs out of the Classic National Lampoon 4-CD boxed set. If you don’t know what “Deteriorata” is, or the original song it’s parodying, go find someone old and him or her about it. I mean, someone other than me.

Anyway, as for some of the new comics themselves:

The three best things out this week: the new Zippy the Pinhead book Type Z Personality, Luba’s Comics & Stories #7 (focusing on Fritz), and Superman Chronicles, reprinting the early Superman stories from the beginning in chronological order. I loves me some Joe Shuster art.

Amazing Spider-Man #529 – The debut of the new costume was met by our customers with, well, not the usual “Oh no, something’s different! We must react with fear and anger” that you generally get from some comic fans, but rather with eye-rolling and a sort of a “give me a break” attitude. Now, Spider-Man has had costume changes before, but this time appears to be just one time too many, I guess.

Zombie Tales: Death Valley Days #2 concludes the story, the first part of which I discussed way back when. I don’t really have much to add to my original review, as Andrew Crosby, Johanna Stokes, and Rhoald Marcellus bring a satisfying ending to this undemanding but entertaining light-horror comic.

Astonishing X-Men #13 – I only mention it because I keep getting asked if it’s out yet or not. Yes, it’s out. Come buy it already.

Also of note: Original Adventures Of Cholly And Flytrap #1 (reprinting the violent and dark-humored Arthur Suydam strips from Epic Illustrated), Thing #4 (now with 100% more Lockjaw, and thus officially great), Swamp Thing Vol. 3: Healing The Breach (reprinting issues 15-20 of the current series), and Following Cerebus #7, which has this cover:

I find it interesting that Cerebus is dressed as Babylon 5‘s Londo Mollari, as both characters began their stories as sympathetic and humorous, and ended as tragic and pitiable.

But perhaps I’ve said too much. I don’t want you people to think I’m a big ol’ nerd or nuthin’.

Speaking of Cerebus, pal Tom and I were discussing Dave Sim, and how I believed that in a few years, once Cerebus trade paperback sales ran their course, we’d be seeing “Uncanny X-Men, now written by Dave Sim!” in the Marvel solicitations.

Once again, now that I’ve said it, I want to see it. I’d want him to draw it (with Gerhard, of course), too.

And now, the lucky 13th installment of Progressive Ruin Presents…The End of Civilization. Flip open that copy of the Diamond Previews catalog and follow along. (Previous installments: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12)

p. 122 – Superman Returns Kryptonite Prop Replica: Now, it used to be if you wanted yourself some glowing green rocks you could pretend were made of Kryptonite, you could drop a couple bucks and satisfy that urge. It was packaged in a little cardboard box with a colorful pic of Supes, the rocks would glow in the dark, and you were happy. Now, if you want the Kryptonite, you have to drop 200 bones…granted, it does come with a glass cover and a Certificate of Authenticity, because you don’t want people to think you got a fake piece of fake Kryptonite.

p. 169 – Dracula Deluxe Boxed Set:

“This is the first action figure licensed granted by Sony Consumer Products for Francis Ford Coppola’s masterpiece.”

Okay, now I thought this movie was okay, certainly entertaining, but calling it a “masterpiece” may be overstating it a little, I think. (Please don’t fill my comments section telling me why I’m wrong.) And judging by the figures chosen, I’m guessing “no likeness rights.”

p. 181 – Marvel Universe X23 Bust: I can’t look at the “character” of X23 without thinking of pal Dorian’s post on the subject.

p. 182-5 – Lots of X-Men 3 toys and busts, illustrated with close-up photos of the cast rather than pictures of the actual items. Oh, dear.

p. 187 – Marvel Universe Pirate Nightcrawler Bust: Any proceeds going to Dave Cockrum, I wonder?

p. 247 – Those are some large, large breasts in that full page Tarot Witch of the Black Rose ad. I mean, they’re even large by usual Tarot standards. Invariably the page Mom flips to when she’s poking through Previews while waiting for Little Billy to finish shopping for comics.

p. 248 – Elric/Cadillacs & Dinosaurs Two Book Set – Good Lord, that Elric of Melnibone hardcover from First Comics must have been overprinted like nobody’s business, because these things have turned up as “warehouse finds” I don’t know how many times. Anyway, depending on your Michael Moorcock tolerance, $14.99 for this handsome-looking book is a bargain, even without the extra Xenozoic Tales volume.

p. 414 – Freddy Mercury 18″ Action Figure – Fantastic.

p. 416 – Spider Plush-Slippers:

There’s nothing I can add to that.

p. 434 – Superman Returns “Krazy Kryptonite” Compound:

“The Krazy Kryptonite Compound can be molded, thrown, bounced, or stretched!”

I’m not sure that I like the fact that my only commercial alternative to the two hundred buck prop Kryptonite is the Silly Putty Kryptonite.

p. 438 – Transformers Matrix of Leadership Replica: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS, I’M TOO OLD. It’s also $175.

p. 444 – Scarlet Spider Mini-Bust: Relive the storyline that almost killed off Spider-Man comics for good with this high quality bust.

p. 476-7 – Two more pages of Superman Returns crap merchandise. Lots of mugs and keychains…the Binocular Keyrings are my favorite. “See with the accuracy of Superman with these Binocular Keyrings, adorned with the classic Superman logo.”

p. 499 – Planet of the Apes Ultimate Widescreen DVD Collection Limited Edition: Includes all the movies (including the Tim Burton one), all the bonus discs, all episodes of the TV series, and all of the animated series. And it comes in ape-head packaging:

Ape-head packaging.



We don’t deserve beauty such as this.

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