New comics day and the End of Civilization.
As noted by both pal Dorian and Chris Butcher, this week’s new comics day was huge. I believe that this was the largest invoice total we’ve had since last Free Comic Book Day…and not just the manga, but Marvel and DC really cranked out the product as well. Holy frijole.
Dor and I had this exchange at the store, as we were unpacking:
Dor: “Why would the manga publishers put out all their product at once?”
Me: “So they can drive the small comic shops out of business and not have to accommodate them anymore, and then they can put all their focus on the big chain bookstores, where the real money is.”
Perhaps when we’re rushed in the morning, and we’re all kind of cranky, is not the best time to have these sorts of conversations. Anyway, I then put Cheech & Chong’s The Wedding Album on the CD player and we were all much cheerier. At least, until we opened for business and discovered one of our regular customers is pictured naked on the letters pages of the newest Tarot, but I’ll let Dorian tell you about that.
One of the high points of new comics day is when pal Corey pops in, and we get to shoot the breeze while he’s shopping for comics and I’m pulling subscriptions. Today we got on the topic of what might happen in DC’s Infinite Crisis series, and Corey mentioned the rumor that the series may focus on a pre-Crisis character who wants his world back…and how it would be cool if it were the Golden Age Superman as the villain! I then told Corey my theory that I felt as if Superman (the current, regular continuity one) was being set up to be put in a position similar to Wonder Woman’s, where the only solution to a certain, serious problem would be that he’d have to take a life.
And then I combined our theories…what if the current Superman was forced to kill the Golden Age Superman to solve whatever the “Infinite Crisis” entails? Corey and I just laughed and laughed…not at the event itself, but at how fans would most likely react. Talk about the internet breaking in half! Anyway, it’s all just speculation, but hey, I was within a stone’s throw of the identity of the murderer in Identity Crisis way back when, so who knows?
Oh, and Red Sonja #2 finally came out this week. You know, I’m almost insulted by its arrival after such a long delay…but not as insulted as by the years-late arrival of Tomb Raider: The Greatest Treasure of All or whatever the heck it’s called. When was this thing first announced? Holy smokes.
Best comic of the week: The Stuff of Dreams #3 by Kim Deitch. The Waldo saga continues, in Deitch’s own inimitable style. God bless that man.
And now, Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization. Whip open your Oct 2005 Diamond Previews and follow the fun! (Track the fall of civilization through these previous entries: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7)
p. 359: Street Fighter Cammy Door Poster – Guys, if you buy this poster (with a drawing of a character from a video game presenting her hindquarters for all to enjoy) and, say, hang it on your dorm room door, you will never, ever get laid. Sorry.
p. 392: Why Buffy Matters: The Art of Buffy the Vampire Slayer TP –
Dorian: “The solicitation says it’s written by ‘the world’s foremost authority on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its characters, and its themes.'”
Me: “‘Foremost authority.’ So it’s written by Joss Whedon?”
Dor: “Apparently not.”
p. 438: Disney’s Cinderella Glass Slipper Scale Replica
“A collectible as breath-taking as Cinderella herself! This special edition glass slipper was carefully crafted to capture the ultimate symbol of romance. Every detail was considered to re-create the unique charm and splendor of Cinderella that helped her win the Prince’s love and the hearts of millions of years. Crafted from the finest crystal, this collectible is a 4″ scaled replica version of the glass slipper seen in Disney’s Cinderella. Comes with a custom Acrylic Display Case, featuring a dark blue base draped in a maroon fabric.”
“Millions of years?” I’m guessing they meant “fans.”
p. 440: Transformers The Ghost of Starscream Previews Exclusive Statue – It’s the statue of the ghost of a robot. Made from clear…something or other, but it’s clear, by God. Actually, I can’t be too hard on it, because if there’s one thing I love, it’s a robot’s ghost.
p. 446: Scarlet Spider Statue – “This just in, a new entry in the ‘approximately ten years too late’ category….”
p. 450: I want to make fun of the Rocketeer Helmet Replica, but actually, that’s kinda cool. Same with the Darth Vader Helmet Replica (p. 454).
p. 474, and pretty much the whole “Collectibles and Novelties” category from this issue and every future issue:
PLEASE STOP PRODUCING “WACKY WOBBLERS” OR “HEADKNOCKERS” OR WHATEVER YOU’RE CALLING THEM. THAT TRAIN HAS LEFT THE STATION.
Thank you.
p. 477: American Dad Series 1 Limited Edition Bendable Box Set – the cartoon nobody likes, now in bendy plastic form!
p. 479: John Wayne Limited Edition Cookie Jar – it needs a voice chip. “Take your hands off my cookies, pilgrim.”
Actually, not too much disgusted me this time in the new Previews (but then, maybe I didn’t look close enough). I was amused by the ad for the Sub-Mariner statue stating it was based on the character’s “first appearance” – his #1 issue in 1968.
And, as promised, for reading all my nonsense, you get a cookie.
