§ June 10th, 2005 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on

Now is the time where I answer your questions…and if you have more, lay ’em on me:

Gordon asks: “Where do babies come from?”

I point you in the direction of this page, which features a swell animation (work safe, but does have sound).

H has a fistful of questions:

“Who has the biggest collection of Swamp Thing memorabilia in the world?”

Why, I do believe that would be me!

“Why isn’t every day Free Comics Day?”

Because then it wouldn’t be special. And every comic retailer in the country would be out of business. And Earth would run out of trees.

“Why won’t Marvel let Larry Young take over?”

Ultimately (so to speak), it doesn’t really matter who runs Marvel Comics…it exists primarily to perpetuate the trademarks and turn them into movies, TV shows, toys, and other licensed products. I think Larry is better off being captain of his own ship, imbuing it with his own personality, and I’m reasonably sure he agrees.

“If all 3 Bat(-)girls had a fight, who would win?”

The readers. Ooh yeah. (Well, okay, probably the new Batgirl. Pal Dorian told me that she took down Lady Shiva, and that sounds pretty darn bad-ass to me.)

Todd asks a couple good questions:

“About three days ago you apparently switched your loyalties from Rann to Thanagar. Why the flip-flop?”

No flip-flop…I was secretly a double-agent, appearing to work with the Rannians, when I actually worked against them in cahoots with my Thanagarian comrades. Hawk-AAAA! (Oops, wait, that’s Blackhawk.)

“And while we’re at it, is it really possible to even have a ‘Rann-Thanagar War’ when Thanagar doesn’t even exist anymore? Isn’t it sort of like Krypton going to war with Earth?”

Our brave Hawk-warriors carry Thanagar in their hearts.

Tom asks: “Who was your favorite character when you were writing the Authority?”

Of all the characters I created for The Authority during my writing stint, I think my favorite is Mark Millar. He’s got the best superpowers outta all of them.

Brian wonders: “How mad is a comic retailer allowed to get at a customer? For instance, if a customer gets really mad and starts yelling…what is a retailer to do? Yell back?”

Well, I think a retailer (or any business owner) can get as mad as he or she wants…but whether or not to show that anger is another question. I prefer to take the high ground…if I’m getting yelled at (rare, and almost always because I’ve asked the “customer” — in quotes, since yellers never spend a dime — to show some personal responsibility and/or common sense in regards to their in-store behavior) I try to remain calm but stern. That usually works better than blowing a gasket.

The very, very few times I’ve actually lost my temper with someone, it’s because they insisted on pushing my buttons and, usually, just generally acting like complete assholes and impacting the shopping experience of other people in the store. I have no problem with asking people like this to get the hell out. I’ve got plenty of good customers, thank you.

Harvey asks…well, you better just go read it yourself.

In answer, I defer to Cecil’s statement on the matter. At near the speed of light, the headlights would still appear as functioning normally to you.

However, at the speed of light, all laws of time and space will be irrevocably destroyed, and the universe will vanish. Good going.

“Will the warping of spacetime cause me to get Liefeld-feet?”

Some things are beyond all science.

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