§ June 21st, 2004 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on

The Bionic Woman #1 (October 1977)

So Jamie Sommers, AKA The Bionic Woman (with some of her bionic parts exposed, above) is, when she’s not kicking butt for the O.S.I., a school teacher in Southern California.

Jamie decides to call Rico’s mother about his schoolwork, and tells Rico as such…Rico then relates to his teacher, just out of the blue, that his grandfather wants to take him away from his widowed mother. However, this plot becomes important as a fella tries to snatch Rico after school lets out:

(That bit about Rico’s dad being a professional car racer has no bearing on the plot whatsoever, by the way.) Jamie stops the car, and puts the bionic squeeze on the kidnapper’s hand, telling Rico to get out of the car. Once he’s safe, Jamie apparently decides the smart thing to do is to let the kidnapper go, telling the boy that the man just wanted to take him to his grandfather, even though there’s absolutely no evidence presented in the story thus far to draw this conclusion.

Taking Rico to his beach house, Jamie is greeted by Rico’s mother Anita, who tells Jamie that the grandfather had disowned his son, her husband, and didn’t help him when he needed it. Now that he’s dead, Grandpa is trying to worm his way into Rico and Anita’s life, and she won’t have it. Anyway, apparently unconcerned about the attempted kidnapping, Anita and Rico dress for the beach as Jamie excuses herself.

However, Jamie doesn’t make it far before discovering that the house was being monitored by (we’re meant to assume) the grandfather’s minions:

Why it was important to note that Rico is in swim trunks is a mystery for the ages. Perhaps we’ve just learned something important about Harvey. So, Harvey, in green, and his pal, in blue, approach Anita and Rico on the beach. Jamie rushes into action and lays the bionic whammy on Harvey:

Jamie is shot with a “medicated wax pellet” gun, which knocks her out, and Anita, Rico, and Jamie are taken to the grandfather’s home in “the hills above the Ventura Air Force Base.” Now, I work in Ventura…I lived in Ventura for a few years…I’m pretty sure that there’s no Ventura Air Force Base. Anyway, once at Grandpa’s house, Rico makes a break for it, and ends up dangerously close to a cliff. Jamie, awake by now, sees another threat:

Jamie picks up a rock, and pegs the snake…which then shocks Rico into falling off the cliff:

Luckily he fell onto the one lone branch that just happened to be right below:

Having failed in her previous attempt to kill the kid, Jamie decides to jump down to the branch:

Jamie grabs Rico just in time, and his grandfather, having rushed out with a rope, rescues his grandson. Rico rightfully reveals that he feared for his life at Jamie’s hands:

After being pulled to safety, Jamie wonders at the incredible feat of strength she managed with her non-bionic arm, having pulled up Rico who weighs, what, 35, 40 pounds?

Anyway, everything ends well, with Anita, Grandpa, and Rico back together as a happy family, despite all the criminal charges Grandpa is going to face for sending armed men to kidnap his grandson.

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