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Swamp Thing, once a critically-acclaimed horror book, began to see its sales and fan base slide as the 1970s wore on and the pop-culture horror trends began to make way for science fiction (epitomized, of course, by Star Wars).
The solution? Why, make Swampy a superhero, of course:
Swamp Thing #23 (July 1976)
Thus did
Swamp Thing get its first cover word balloons, its snazzy new sleek logo, and its first super-villain. The story, by
Law & Order writer and
Firestorm The Nuclear Man co-creator Gerry Conway and the late Nestor Redondo, opens with the fellow in the blue tights and red wading boots smashing a large image of our mossy hero with his sabre-hand, shouting “I
tell you, the Swamp Thing must
die!” Speaking to a red-hooded gentlemen on a monitor, Sabre insists that, for costing him his career and his hand (more on that later), Swamp Thing must…well, you know:
The red-hood guy, “Councilman Red,” says no, Swamp Thing (AKA Alec Holland) must be captured…and if Sabre can’t do it, then Thrudvang, The Earth Master, will! (More on Thrudvang when I cover issue #24, I promise.)
Meanwhile, in Oregon, we see Swamp Thing headed up a driveway to a lonely house…a house that belongs to Holland’s brother Edward. Upon entering, Swampy surprises Edwards beautiful red-headed friend, Ruth, who faints upon seeing the muck-encrusted monster. Edward enters the scene, and, fearing the monster before him had done harm to Ruth, attacks. Swampy easily subdues his brother, in order to tell him:
Swampy relates the tragic tale of his origin (criminals blow up Alec Holland’s lab, Alec plunges into swamp, on fire and saturated with his own bio-restorative formula, rises again as Swamp Thing, proceeds to hide from society instead of seeking medical attention). Edward hears the tale of woe, and agrees to help find a cure for Alec’s condition. Ruth wonders if it’s even possible, which provokes this modest reply from Edward:
Geez, Edward, your brother’s standing right there…he’s mossy, not deaf. Anyway, thus begin the experiments, and one page and one day later, Edward’s found the cure! In the meantime, Sabre has tracked down the Swamp Thing’s location, using a transmitter embedded in Swampy’s shoulder (“It’s a long story,” the captions say, as to how that transmitter got there, but they don’t tell us how it got there or how it eluded being detected by Edward during his examinations of his brother). Anyway, the solution involves reconstructing Swampy’s origin, down to the exploding lab apparently, and even a pool of “swamp water” sits outside. So loving Edward blows up his brother:
…and Swamp Thing plunges into the swamp…er, pool, and “as he did that time long ago, he feels a change occuring within him.” Just then, Sabre crashes the pool party, intent on destroying the guest of honor:
Pulling off his mask, Sabre reveals himself to be John Zero, a government bureaucrat who had been responsible for capturing Swamp Thing back in issue #13, but was also held responsible when Swampy made his escape. Swamp Thing was also seemingly responsible for Sabre losing his hand, too, but we never find out how, exactly. Anyway, Holland is weakened by the chemical bath intended to cure his condition, and Ruth grabs Sabre’s sword arm in an attempt to keep him from beating down on the former Swamp Thing. Sabre knocks her cold, and seeing Ruth struck down reminds him of how his own wife was offed by the very same criminals that originally blew up his lab:
The sight ticks Holland off royally, which gives him the strength to toss Sabre (and, as a result, himself) into the flaming chemical pool. Moments pass, and as Ruth recovers and sees to Edward, two figures come out of the flame: one is Sabre, flesh burned, his sabre melting (that must have been one hot fire)…the other is the cured Alec Holland!
And I think they missed a bet by not having the story “to be Swamp-inued” — hey, if Marvel can get away with “to be Hulk-inued….”
My discussion of the attempted transformation of Swamp Thing into a superhero will continue in a few days, with a look at the last issue of the original series, #24.
(As a personal aside…this was the very first issue of Swamp Thing I ever read, all those years ago. And yet, Swamp Thing became my favorite comic book character anyway. Go figure.)
§ May 11th, 2004 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on
Batman #246 (December 1972)
§ May 10th, 2004 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on
Since Grant Morrison has a new interview being linked all over the comicsblogosphere, I thought I’d reprint (I’m sorry, I mean “release a Commemorative Edition” of) a post of mine from a few months ago:
There has to be some word to use in reference to those groups of humorless comic fans who completely misinterpret comments made by a comics professional in an online interview, or simply fail to recognize when said professionial is pulling their legs.
I call it “Morrisoning.”
Usage: “Boy, those comic fans are really morrisoning that Newsarama interview.”
§ May 10th, 2004 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on
1. A reminder…the Demo contest ends on May 12th, so get your entries in!
2. Simply Comics has just posted a FAQ for comics webloggers about the Comics Weblogs update page, in case you want to join up, have problems getting listed, etc.
At the end is this bit:
“Q: Can I link to your site?
A: Please do. You can even give it a more clever name, like ‘Comics Weblog Update-A-Tron 3000.'”
Er…heh heh, sorry about that!
3. Have I mentioned that pal Dorian has a comics/movies/music weblog of his very own? Visit, won’t you?
§ May 10th, 2004 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on True Tales of Urine and Vomit.
1. It’s Sunday evening, and I’m working the store alone. It’s about, oh, say, fifteen minutes away from closing. It’s my day off tomorrow, and I’m looking forward to it. A young girl (about eight, maybe) and who I’m assuming to be her brother (about four or five) are at the comics rack, just looking at the covers. Parents are nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, after being generally quiet, they start giggling. I look over to see what they’re doing, and the boy had just wet his pants…like, a lot. It’s a real flood. And both kids think it’s just the funniest thing ever. I’m trying not to be mad…they’re just kids…but I’m pretty damned annoyed, especially at the still-missing parents. I tell the sister to get that wet kid out of here, and the two of them dart out the door, leaving me to stay after hours cleaning and sanitizing the area.
2. A mom is walking around the store holding her infant. She’s with someone who appears to be her sister, and the two of them are just looking around at a leisurely pace. As I’m helping other customers, I notice that the mom and the sister dash out of the store pretty quickly. I don’t realize why until, a few minutes later, a coworker discovers a healthy amount of baby spit-up in one of the aisles. Now, I realize that babies spit up, it’s no big deal…but don’t bail out on me and let me find the baby spit-up on my own! At least tell me so that it can get cleaned up right away, rather than letting me find that stinky surprise on my own.
3. A long-time customer brought his young cousin in the store with him on new comics day, and as he was looking at the new arrivals rack, his cousin suddenly spit up on the floor. Unlike the people in #2, the customer had the good grace to tell me immediately, and he helped me clean up the mess…but still, it was right in front of the new arrivals rack.
This was several years ago, but that customer still apologizes for it to this very day. Really, it’s fine, honest! (But, right in front of the new comics?)
4. Again, it’s Sunday, and again, I’m working alone. I have a store full of people. Someone I’ve never seen before, a heavier-set fellow in his late-50s, walks into the store and loudly asks to use the restroom. The restroom is employees-only, I inform the person…I’m not going to let someone I don’t know wander around the back rooms, especially when I’m too busy up front to monitor the situation. Plus, I was getting an odd vibe off of him, which was almost immediately proved to be justified when he announced “well, I’m going to pee right here then!” — “here” being the area right by the front counter and register. I immediately put my hand on the phone, and tell him “I’ll just have to call the police then!”
“I’m gonna pee right here!” he repeats.
“I’ll call the police,” I retort, picking up the receiver.
“Pee!”
“Police!”
…and so the debate continued. Well, for about 20 seconds or so, anyway, until he realized I wasn’t going to budge and he’d have to go demand access to employee restrooms somewhere else.
Okay, I realize those stories aren’t necessarily comic book store specific…most people in businesses that deal with the public have some kind of horrifying bodily-waste story to share…but I thought you’d be interested to know that comics retailing isn’t all just glamour and elegance.
EDIT: The customer in #3 is a reader of this weblog, and gave me permission to tell this story. So, you know, it’s not like I’m talking behind his back!
§ May 9th, 2004 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on "Will go up."
Sometimes when we buy large comic collections, we’ll come across comics that still have price tags from other stores and sellers affixed to the plastic bags. Occasionally, our reaction to these prices tags is “they tried to get ten bucks for
that?!” but usually we just ignore them, peel them off the bag, replace the bag entirely, or whatever needs to be done as we’re processing the new acquisitions.
When I saw this particular issue of X-Man in one collection we picked up a couple years back, I decided against removing the tag for…well, no good reason other than I was amused by the idea that some dealer, somewhere, thought that X-Man #18 was a sure thing investment.
I wonder how many other comics this dealer sold in this fashion? I wonder how many comics this dealer promised his customers “sure, it’ll go up in price, honest!” And just so we’re on the same page…the price increase implied (and that these customers were surely expecting) was certainly several times the cover price, maybe even into the $50 or $100 range, not the more-likely 25 or 50 cent back issue mark-up.
As a result, how many angry customers did the dealer have to face later on when they realized that most of the comics they bought with the promise that they’d “go up” didn’t increase in price very much at all? Or, more likely, how many of these customers left the comics hobby altogether, feeling burned on these “investments?”
That’s why, when customers ask me for “investment” advice, I tell them to buy comics that they’ll like, that way the comics will always be worth something to them. I make no guarantees of future financial performance.
By the way, the most recent edition of the Overstreet Price Guide has this issue of X-Man priced at $2.50 in NM condition.
§ May 8th, 2004 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on More Things Not to Say to Comic Shop Employees.
(part one – part two)
26. “Where are your computer games?”
27. “Do you mind if I leave my child here for three or four hours while I go shopping at the mall down the street?”
28. “How graphic are your graphic novels?” (from pal Dorian)
29. “I’m the owner’s nephew. Give me a discount.” (um, I’m fairly certain I know most of the owner’s relatives…you aren’t one of them)
30. “Hey, there’s no price on this! It must be free!”
§ May 7th, 2004 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Another example of Robin’s excellent observational skills.
World’s Finest Comics #121 (Nov 1961), cover by Jim Mooney
§ May 6th, 2004 § Filed under dc comics, publishing Comments Off on Look, that Freddie Mercury gag is gold.
1. That panel to the right was pointed out to me by pal Corey, who found it in DC Comics Presents #18, guest-starring Zatanna. So, if Superman has the Necronomicon, does that mean the DC Universe fits within the Cthulhu Mythos? Will Aquaman fight the Deep Ones? Will the Justice League fight Shub-Niggurath?
2. It makes me inexplicably pleased to see in the new issue of Invincible that Invincible’s dad comes from…The Planet of the Mustachioed Men. “A planet…where men evolved from Freddy Mercury?”
3. A German comics weblog had some thoughts on my Things Not to Say… list, particularly about the “Superman’s still being published” comment. If I’m reading the translation correctly (the online automatic translator I used having a grasp of German only marginally better than my own) Comicgate believes that this problem doesn’t exactly speak well of DC Comics’ marketing department, and I’m inclined to agree, somewhat. It’s probably safe to say that the people who say this to me haven’t even thought of Superman since the whole “Death of Superman” thing, and never bothered to find out after buying their “collector’s item” if Superman ever got better.
4. And for today’s AiT/Planetlar review: Blackheart Billy by Rick Remender, Kieron Dwyer, and Harper Jaten. The title character is a skateboarding punk rocker who hates hippies, hates religious nuts, hates pacifists, hates the Grateful Dead…hates anything that offends his sensibilities (i.e. pretty much everything), and, oh, by the way, he also has a robotic head he got as a replacement when his previous head was seriously damaged at a punk rock concert. Well, it wasn’t exactly my cup of tea (and I imagine that Billy also hates people who use phrases like “wasn’t exactly my cup of tea,” and who could blame him for that)…I mean, it was fine and all, but a little of this sort of character goes a long way. The lead story is the strongest, with Billy facing the menace of a resurrected Adolph Hitler, inhabiting the body of Jerry Garcia, and wrapped within a giant robot body. It’s completely insane, plenty vulgar, and contains quite possibly the most offensive use of an inflatable love doll that you’ve ever seen. Remender’s script is amusing, with an excess of pop culture references, but it’s Dwyer’s highly detailed and appealling art that carries the story.
The rest of the book is made up of shorter stories, one pagers, and comic strips…the short with Billy trying to get a coffee shop employee to let him use the restroom is probably the best, but the final strip, with Billy and his lady-friend Skeeter having a conversation about, what else, things Billy hates, and Billy’s confrontation with a pacifist, is pretty good as well. The creators on this comic aren’t afraid to go for the gross-out in the pursuit of a joke, which one should probably expect with Dwyer‘s involvement. Again, like I said, a little does go a long way…the excessive in-your-face outrageousness can wear thin a little after several pages, and feels forced at times. On occasion it seems like the creators are practically preaching at you through Billy’s dialgoue about why these people deserve to be hated (particularly on the first few pages of the book), but that’s more the exception. Some lines, though, are laugh-out-loud funny (“Well, hi-de-ho! A generous plank and me without a carpenter!” — you really need the visual for the full impact. Yes, it’s rude). So, overall, I did enjoy Blackheart Billy, but I don’t think I’d want a steady diet of it. There, that’s my wishy-washy conclusion.
And besides, there’s a quote from Mr. Show‘s Brian Posehn on the back cover, and if he likes it, certainly you’ll find something to like here as well.
Recommended for fans of Ralph Snart (the good ones, by Marc Hansen) and Tank Girl.
§ May 6th, 2004 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Someone unbuckled my swash.
Okay, okay, there’s more than just one funny pirate comic, like I had said. There’s Pirate Club from Slave Labor, apparently One Piece is also another funny pirate comic…any others? Would you count My Monkey’s Name Is Jennifer? There’re pirates in it.
Geez…all I wanted to do was make my El Cazador joke!
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