I’m reasonably certain we do sell comics.

§ August 10th, 2012 § Filed under pogs, teenage mutant ninja turtles § 16 Comments

So get this: Thursday morning, we had a gentlemen come to the store carrying a couple of filled bags, who told us he’d just been cleaning out his storage unit and came across some materials and was wondering if we were in the market for them? He then opened up the bags to reveal what he was trying to sell…

…you’re way ahead of me…

…and it was POGs. …We pointed him to the corner of the store where we were trying to contain the vast amounts of POGgish items of which I’d only barely scratched the surface in these last couple of posts. I told him I didn’t know what to do with all the POGs we already had. He suggested I give some away with each comic book purchase. I replied that I wanted to keep my customers. And we both laughed, though I think my laugh was tinged slightly with hysteria and despair.

Okay, okay, it’s not as bad as all that. Everyone at the shop, customers and employees alike, are fairly amused by all this so far, and we even had a brief POG demonstration yesterday evening, run by Employee Debra:


And yes, we will totally have POG tournaments at the shop, if people want to play ‘em. I mean, why not. Might as well dive fully in.

But enough about POGs, let’s talk about this other collection of stuff we got in…Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles merchandise from the early 1990s, like this big ol’ action figure carrying case:


“Holds 20 Figures,” it says, though none were inside. Instead, the figures were loose, scattered about the boxes in which this collection was stored. Figures like this terrifying Splinter figure, complete with faux fur:


…Or this poor bastard Turtle, who as part of his city camouflage, wore a manhole cover on his back:


I don’t know what’s going on here:


…except, well, what teenager doesn’t have problems with acne?

I honestly have no idea (or just didn’t remember) what the deal was with this character:


…until a quick trip to the Turtles Wiki explained she was a fifth turtle mutated by the radioactive stuff that created the regular TMNT gang, who did not know of her existence.

Here’s a closer look…I didn’t know turtles had breasts:


Having this Turtle’s eyes on separate fingers freaks me out just a tad:


…and c’mon, he clearly just endorsed the glove for a paycheck:


…unless there’s a two-fingered / one-thumbed version he was able to personally try out and I don’t know about.

“Remember kids…crush the entire tissue in your fist and then just shove the exposed ends against your nose for best effect!”


I wonder if kids blew their noses on these printed tissues in such a way as to give the Turtles’ faces, I don’t know, beards:


That would take some fine nasal control, I’d imagine.

I took a picture of this just because it’s a big rubbery Frisbee-type thing:


And I took a picture of this suction cup-fastenable Turtle face because it’s shifty-eyed and terrible:


These TMNT binoculars worked about as well as any other toy binocular set I’ve ever had:


…in that it made things look, oh, about an inch or two closer than just plain looking at that thing.

Most of the weapons and other accessories were separated from the loose figures and stored in this plastic bowl:


Of note was this weapons sprue, which I’m featuring here partially because I thought it was a bit sad that these accessories were never detached and used as intended, but mostly because I like using the word “sprue.”


And then there’s this:


I guess if a turtle can have breasts, then why not a mustache?

Finally, just to bring it all around:


All roads lead to POGs, I’m afraid.

16 Responses to “I’m reasonably certain we do sell comics.”

  • Dave Carter says:

    As silly as most of that Turtles merchandise was, it helped pay for the Xeric Grant, so that was worthwhile. I mean, how else are you going to get pre-teens to indirectly fund the publication of a bunch of indie comics?

  • salamurai says:

    Dude! I totally had one of those plastic bowls they put all the accessories in!

  • swamp mark says:

    Three posts in a row!!!!
    I swear,Mike,if you start doing a continuing “Saturday Pogs” post I’m sending an exorcist over there.
    BTW,just found out Swampy made some kind of appearance in Justice League Dark #10.I’m waiting for the new solicitations to see how wide-spread Rotworld is going to get.This could get expensive and I couldn’t be happier.

  • philip says:

    POGressive Ruin!

    That baseball glove is swell. I’d give anything to see some major league player take the field wearing that.

  • Ryan says:

    I’m pretty sure the one with the yellow spots is one of the “movie star” TMNT figures, which were supposed to a) look more like the animatronic turtles from the films, and b) create a reason for kids to buy each of the four turtles all over again.

    If I had to guess, I’d say that Donatello was from TMNT III. I seem to recall those guys being pretty spotty.

  • Casie says:

    “shifty-eyed and terrible” :)

  • IvoryTower says:

    I really like Shinobi/Venus, because, well, girl. However, it’s an unfortunate fact that people think that we’re so stupid that we cannot identify a female character unless she has breasts, even when the creature in question has never at any point lactated.

    You’ve seen Dragonkin in D&D, right?

  • Finlay says:

    “And yes, we will totally have POG tournaments at the shop, if people want to play ‘em. I mean, why not. Might as well dive fully in.”

    If and when the POG resurrection occurs, we can all look back and definitively say that Mike Sterling was Patient Zero on all the madness.

    “I mean, why not. Might as well dive fully in.”

    Dude, they haunt your dreams. Don’t give in that easy. That’s probably easier to say when I don’t have to stare a a giant pile of POG’s all day.

  • Wriphe says:

    Wondering how SlamCo was able to claim trademark on the word “Mutations”, I looked it up on TESS. I did not know that was the name of a line of toys registered by Mirage Studios in the 90s. While that trademark eventually was allowed to expire, as of 2011 the word “Mutations” is a registered trademark of Viacom, current owner of the TMNT properties. You will be pleased to know that the legally protected use of the word “Mutations” now stretches from “GAMES AND PLAYTHINGS” (such as *ahem* pogs) to “DECORATIONS FOR CHRISTMAS TREES”. Mutant Christmas Trees? I for one welcome our new Christmas Tree Overlords.

  • Casey says:

    So this is what finally drove Mike over the edge. I’ll always remember where I was when it happened.

  • any swampthing pogs yet?

  • Snark Shark says:

    “Splinter figure”

    or it could be a “Secret of Nimh” figure!

    “GO TO THE RATS!”

    The TMNT toys are nice to see.. reminds me of going through my Star Wars or GI Joe toys.

  • Evilbeard says:

    I keep hoping for a cache of Pre-teen Dirty Gene Kung-Fu Kangaroos merchandise.

  • Jon H says:

    So who’s gonna step up and print a batch of pogs with Mike’s face on them?

  • Cobalt says:

    The Shifty-eyed Raphael was a Burger King kid’s meal “toy.” I know that because I was working the whopper machine during the days when it was released. (They also had audio cassettes of the “rock album” the turtles released.)

    You were supposed to suction-cup it to the wall of your bathroom and keep your toothbrush in his mouth. I seem to recall that neither of those things was a realistic goal, though.

  • googum says:

    I do love that Ninja Pizza box, to the point I might need another one.