“It is generally know[n] that John Wayne is one of the world’s fastest swimmers…”

18 thoughts on ““It is generally know[n] that John Wayne is one of the world’s fastest swimmers…””

1. Gasp ! And then what happened…?

2. Wait…”Minutes pass?” Aren’t they underwater? No wonder John Wayne is such a fast swimmer. He’s a Merman.

3. Chuck Norris fears only one man. That man is John Wayne.

4. “Sorry OLD BOY?” Are they just reusing the scripts from BASIL RATHBONE ADVENTURE COMICS?

5. “There she sinks”???? Wha???

6. That his thought balloons say “glub” is genius.

7. “Oh no! The human has shoved his fist down my throat making it hard for me to breathe. If only I had a set of powerful jaws capable of biting his arm right off thus allowing me to spit out his offending appendage!”

   “Oh wait. I do.”

   *snap!*

8. Hot damn, comics!

   I demand a hardcover omnibus.

9. How is this the only entry for the “alligators” and “John Wayne” keywords?

10. Tom – Believe it or not, John Wayne is demonstrating a known defense against alligator attacks. Of course, you pretty much have to be John Wayne, or have John Wayne-sized cojones, to pull it off.

11. Chuck Norris fears two men… kissing.

12. What does this have to do with the Hulk’s crotch?

13. John Wayne is so tough, he stole the Vigilante’s outfit and made him cry. And THEN he beat up an alligator.

14. Does this make John Wayne the El Gorgo of cowboys?

15. I am so happy that the sentence
    “Go for the palatal valve.”
    Is now in available for me to use.

    http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-an-Encounter-with-a-Crocodile-or-Alligator

16. “If you’ve got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.”-John Wayne (the only man who could say this, without sounding like a douche.)

17. This reminds me of all the times my dad told me about that “John Wayne Facts” meme that was all the rage on the internet when he was a kid. Little known fact: in those days, the internet was an actual net.

18. I can only assume that this book is about the adventures of John Wayne after he gained superpowers on the set of The Conqueror.

Comments are closed.