So here’s a thing I was wondering about the cover to Spoof #3 (January 1973):
Now, I recognize
most of the caricatured celebrities on there:
…the Osmonds, the Jackson 5, the Beatles, Yoko, Mick, Elvis, David, those two politicians of some note. But who’s this guy:
No, not the baby. The dude with the sideburns. …Well, the baby sort of has sideburns, come to think of it. But anyway, I may just be having an Old Man Moment, and not placing the face, but it’s just not ringing any bells with me. I even showed this cover to a couple of folks who’d I’d expected to know right away, and even they were like “huh…who
is that?” Even
the Grand Comics Database entry doesn’t note who it is.
So, if you know, alleviate our embarrassing ignorance by revealing what is sure to be the forehead-smacking obvious answer in my comments here.
Of course, it may be possible that it’s not supposed to be anybody at all, but that hardly seems likely. The non-celeb types seem to be relegated to being background characters, or stuck behind word balloons:
YOU’LL PUT YOUR EYE OUT, KID. Also, get a haircut, hippie.
So…we meet again, Diamond Previews. You may think you have the upper hand this time, but I still have a trick or two up my sleeve. Let us begin, then, and may the best man…or 450-page catalog…win.
If you want to keep tabs on our battle, then grab your own copy of Diamond Previews, March 2012 edition, and follow along:
p. 119 – Legion of Super-Heroes #9:
“One of the greatest LEGIONNAIRES quits!”
Whaa–!? “Greatest Legionnaire?” Why, that could only mean…
…that Arm-Fall-Off-Boy had finally made the team! I had no idea. I guess I should have never quit reading the Legion books.
p. 121 – Smallville Season 11 #1:
Just as a guess, I’m going to say the emotion being conveyed on that face there is “hideous embarrassment.” “…Boy, I sure hope any of my friends who
didn’t suffer multiple debilitating head injuries don’t see me in this and guess my secret identity!”
p. 122 – Batman Beyond Unlimited #4:
Oh, you can say more. I’m not seeing any “Swamp Thing Beyond” there, after all.
p. 128 – Mister Terrific Vol. 1 Mind Games TP:
Collecting the entirety of a cancelled series and throwing a “Volume 1” on it? Now that’s just rubbing salt in the wound.
p. 145 – The Dark Knight Rises 1:6 Scale Icon Statues:
I’m sure the follow-up series of statues will have Catwoman standing in the heroic pose, and Batman squatting with his ass sticking out. You know, just to be fair.
p. 147 – Batman Arkham City Deluxe Action Figures:
I didn’t realize Batman fought a Predator and one of the crew of the Nostromo in
Arkham City. Now I
have to get this video game!
p. 151 – Star Trek The Next Generation / Doctor Who – Assimilation2 #1:
Oh come
on. What kind of completely ridiculous, fan-fictiony, totally pandering piece of nonsense that I’m absolutely going to be buying is
this?
p. 186 – Youngblood #71:
Now, a long time ago on this site, I opined that if Rob Liefeld had stuck with
Youngblood from the beginning, and just kept pumping out an issue month after month after month for
years, my guess is that by now that theoretical
Youngblood series, which would be in its 170s or 180s, would be
amazing. I don’t know if it would be “amazing” as in “actually really good” or “amazing” as in “oh my God what the hell is this,” but seeing this relaunch beginning with #71 just reminded me of a wonderful thing we may never see. Unless he commits to
this series for twenty years, of course.
p. 329 – X-O Manowar #1 QR Voice Variant:
When I just saw the headlines about this, as opposed to, say, actually
reading the articles and seeing what the actual deal was, I just assumed all the
X-O Manowar #1s would have sound chips in the covers, like those novelty greeting cards.
Which resulted in these Twittering shenanigans:
Luckily you’re going to need one of those fancy QR-code-readin’ space phones from the future to enable the talking bit of the talking covers, so you talking comic book covers won’t be gettin’ a hold of
me, nosiree.
p. 351 – Why Does Batman Carry Shark Repellent? SC:
Answer: because why wouldn’t he? He’s Batman.
Duh. Should’ve asked me first, Brian.
p. 354 – Doctor Who Where’s the Doctor? HC:
Of course, if they were
really mean, they wouldn’t tell you which version of the Doctor was hidden in each picture. That’ll keep you Whovians off the streets for a while.
p. 360 – Star Wars Cookbook: Wookiee Pies, Clone Scones, And Other Galactic Goodies HC:
“My
God, that’s
Wookiee Pie! …It’s good, though.”
p. 398 – Strong Guy Mini-Bust:
Usually, I poke a little fun at the crazy statues they’ll produce for a hopelessly limited market. But…yeah, I have no problem with this one. Buy it, put it on a shelf, and if anyone doesn’t get it…
let ’em wonder.
p. 423 – Spider-Man Back Buddy:
“
Hey, there’s a spider on your back!”
p. 433 – Spider-Man Collector’s Edition Monopoly:
Do not pass the George Washington Bridge, do not catch Gwen Sta…oh, what’s that? …Ooh, that’s a damn shame.
p. 433 – World of Warcraft Collector’s Edition Monopoly:
Do not pass, um, the Warcraft Base, do not collect…orc treasure? Or something? Hell, I don’t know anything about World of Warcraft, I have no idea.
Marvel Previews p. 32 – Mighty Thor #14:
“What really happens in your room at night…?” Um, we’re still talking about the comic,
right?
Marvel Previews p. 39 – Fantastic Four #606:
Wait for it….
Marvel Previews p. 41 – Marvel Zombies Destroy! #1:
Looks like Nazi Zombies are all the rage this year!
I’m going to admit that this is a permutation on the zombie fad I didn’t not expect to be gifted upon us at this late date. Well, if there are two things fanboys love, it’s zombies, and, um, yeah.
Marvel Previews p. 82 – Civil War Prose Novel HC:
Revealed at last! The inner motivations of Clone Thor! What are his hopes? His dreams? His deepest desires? His darkest fears? Finally get into the head of the breakout character of…2006, was it? Like, 5 and a half years ago? Geez. I didn’t need to be reminded of that.
