



ad from Saga of the Swamp Thing #5 (Sept. 1982)
1. Gaff didn't really do much, did he? Stupid bird.
2. I hope no one actually tried to do any of this once they got their shark tooth pendant.
3. I'm going to resist the "Village People" joke.
4. "For you, your crew, and
your country" -- "your" country, not "our." Is Sgt. Shark...a
man without a
country? Or does he owe his allegiance to some foreign power?
5. How'd the parrot lose an eye? Surely not a shark attack -- that probably would have taken the entire head -- though that would explain Gaff's reluctance to join the "adventure."
Hey, man, I was ending civilization before it was
cool. Now I look at the headlines in one of the few newspapers that are left, and it looks like
everyone's getting in on my action. Ah, well. The more the merrier, I suppose. Fiddle along with me as we see a little bit of Rome burn away within the February 2009 edition of
Diamond Previews:
p. 196 - Cerebus Archive #1:
Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoyed
Cerebus. I plan on buying this new series featuring early work by Dave Sim, background material on the creation of
Cerebus, etc. But the zombie cover variant? After doing a handful of them for his other project
Glamourpuss, I think we've got the joke by now. The $15 retail price joke.
But the worst part? The zombie variant for
this series looks awesome.
Dangit.
p. 344 - The Desktop Heads of Easter Island:
Apparently these were made by
very tiny alien beings.
p. 372 - Indiana Jones Sallah Mighty Muggs figure:
Now let us picture John Rhys-Davies in a skin-tight white suit, as demonstrated here.
p. 382 - Terminator 2 Series 1 Minimate Assortment:
Totally gets points for including the explody "liquid metal" version of the T-1000.
p. 387 - Star Trek Movie Electronic Communicator:
So this is what they're going to look like in that new, revamped
Star Trek movie, hm? Sort of an interesting design dilemma, trying to evoke the look of the original TV series, while simultaneously trying to appear
more futuristic than our modern day, ubiquitous cellphones, which themselves are at least in part inspired by the original show while also being far more advanced in many ways than what those old props were supposed to represent.
However, this communicator toy has it all over cellphones, what with the included lenticular Kirk/Spock sticker inside. ADVANTAGE: ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATOR.
p. 393 - Giger's Alien 1:1 Lifesize Statue:
Sweet dear holy God in heaven. It's almost
eight feet tall, it's bottom-lit through the "floor grid" base, and you can move the arms so that they're sticking out in from of the Alien, like he's grabbing for you. Good for keeping around the house if you want to occasionally scare the living bejeebers out of yourself.
Also, out of curiosity, I checked the retailer order details on this item...the
net cost on this is several thousand dollars, and apparently it would be delivered to us in five large boxes. Some assembly required, my friends.
p. 398 - (Offered again) Lord of the Rings Balrog Monument:
As first featured
in this post, the $2000
four foot wide limited Balrog has been relisted for more orders in this month's
Previews. Oddly enough, it didn't sell out the first time.
p. 400 - Kurse Mini-bust:
Mixed feelings: "a Kurse bust...
really?" versus "oh man, a Walt Simonson-era
Thor character statue!"
BONUS: Statue is also a
Secret Wars II tie-in.
p. 404 - Back to the Future Marty McFly Hat Replica:
I thought for sure this was some kind of
Hypercolor-esque thing, but apparently it's just "ultra-refractive fabrics" that make up the hat.
Really, when was the last time
you thought about Hypercolor? (I couldn't even remember the name, until Kid Chris reminded me.)
p. 408 - Star Wars Obi-Wan Kenobi Bronze Bust:
Only $1,500. Probably would have immensely irritated Sir Alec.
p. 416 - Broken Heart Doll Plushies:
"Aarrchie was the sickest bass player around, but all he got was a lousy photo op with Green Day's Billie Joe and one free drink ticket."
"Wolfgang thought he hit the jackpot with the ladies with the screen name 'just10timbrl8k,' but things always took a rapid dive when finally showed them his picture."
Emo pillows with backstories. Well, sure, why not.
p. 438-9 - Joker masks:I can't decide which is most terrifying...the Joker masks based on the recent
Dark Knight movie:

...or this classic look Joker:

Any of these would be perfect for your social gathering or church event.
p. 444 - Star Wars Trooper Fine Art Print:
Today's winning entry in the "Self-Canceling Phrase" contest is....
p. 445 - Watchmen Rorschach Beanie Mask:
Well, surely this is going to bite into the sales of all those homemade
Rorschach masks on the eBay.
p. 446 - Watchmen Rorschach Desk Blotter:
A desk blotter with "ink" splashed upon it to resemble Rorschach's mask, with the Rorschach logo. $29.99. I don't have a joke for this, or even a smart alecky comment. I'm just puzzled, mostly.
p. 447 - Watchmen Rorschach Pennant:
"Rah rah! Chop that dog! Go team Rorschach!"
There are four pages of Watchmen merchandise in this catalog. They're just seriously slapping Watchmen characters onto anything that'll take an image.
Marvel Previews p. 7 - X-Men Legacy #223 70th Anniversary Cover:
Why is Marvel Girl throwing gang signs at me?
Marvel Previews p. 79 - Marvel Minimates Series 28 - Wolverine Movie Assortment:
Hey, I had no idea Marlon Brando was in this movie. I'm totally seeing it now.
Marvel Previews p. 94 - Spider-Man Torment Premiere HC:
At last, a deluxe collection of what may possibly be the most common Spider-Man comics ever published. Good, I was worried there weren't enough copies of this story already in existence.
Tip o'the toupee to pal Sean for the Brando joke.
The ad as it appeared in
Saga of the Swamp Thing #2 (June 1982), sans name and address since I'm paranoid about that sort of thing:

And then in
Saga of the Swamp Thing #3 (July 1982):

Not sure if the person who placed the ad arranged for the relettering, or if someone at the people who processed the ads took pity and did it for him. But now that most folks have access to computers and word processing and/or art programs, you don't see a whole lot of sloppily-handwritten ads appearing in nationally-distributed, professionally-published comic books any more. Too bad...there's a kind of charm to the first version of that ad that would be lost in 24-pt. Helvetica bold. (Or in Comics Sans, yes, yes, I know.)
EDIT: London Loves Comics
covered this as well.
Okay, one last time answering
your questions:
- glmmrtwn asks
"Hey Mike, did you ever do a post on that really weird DC Comics Presents issue where Superman teams up with the Swamp Thing (I think it was issue 12)? It was by Steve Englehart and Murphy Anderson and was pretty trippy. In continuity or not?"
Hmmm...that was number 8 of DC Comics Presents, and I don't think I ever really did much with it aside from including a few panels from that story at the end of this post. I don't think there's anything about the story that makes it explicitly non-continuity. Well, aside from the miscoloring of Swamp Thing's word balloons and thought bubbles, but that hardly counts. It does feature the first meeting between Swampy and Solomon Grundy, which is sort of obliquely referenced when the two characters meet again in Swamp Thing (second series) #67, where they greet each other as old acquaintances. Since DCCP #8 is the only ("on-screen") prior meeting of the characters, I suppose it's still continuity.
On a related note, when Swamp Thing encounters Deadman in Swamp Thing Annual #2, Deadman refers to having encountered Swampy before...which we only saw in the Challengers of the Unknown comics that guest-starred them both. Of course, it's vague enough that the two characters could have "met" under as-yet-unrevealed circumstances, and not specifically those Challs issues, the canonicity of which remains vague given the Swamp Thing storyline contained therein spins off from issues of the first series explicitly deemed non-continuity by DC editorial.
Wow, you never really know just how much nerdity you've got welling up within you until it all just spills out like that.
- John Parker wants to know
"What's the first comic you remember reading?"
That's a very good question, and I think I tried to pin it down before on this site, though I can't find the exact post at the moment. I remember some Donald Duck, some Pink Panther, some Teen Titans, all from about the early/mid '70s...like, '74, '75. I didn't really become interested in following comics on a regular basis until the Star Wars comic book launched in '77, which hooked me in well and good.
Unfortunately, I can't remember the exact comic that was my first. My hunch is that it was a Disney comic, since I read a lot of those as a young Mikester. I have very clear early memories of looking at panels with Gyro Gearloose' helper Helper and wondering what was up with that guy. Those would be my earliest memories of comics.
- Fnord Serious has some questions for me:
"What is your favorite dead multi-book superhero universe (New Universe, Charlton, Shadowline, Ultraverse, etc) ? I am partial to the Marvel 2099 books myself. If you could bring said universe back, would you like a continuation of the previous continuity, a reboot (like the !mpact revival of the Archie/MLJ heroes), or integration into a preexisting universe as with the Milestone characters currently being brought into the DCU?"
I think my favorite was the Jim Shooter-era Valiant comics. I liked nearly all the books, they meshed together well, and when taken together formed an interesting and certainly quirky shared universe. If it were to return, I'd prefer a continuation of the previous continuity, since in this specific case we did see a rebooted continuity supplanting that Shooter-era, and it didn't really do anything for me.
"I always enjoy your tales of the history of comics retail. I particularly enjoyed your observations on the 90's crash. As a comics buyer I never thought it had started as far back as Turok #1. More of those posts are always welcome."
This is one of those times when I wished I had tags on my posts, because a "market crash" tag would be very useful right now to send you all to my previous writings on this topic.
In the meantime, though, here are more links to my writings about the crash than you could ever possibly want: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Not sure what else I'd have to say about it, but stay tuned...you never know when I'll be inspired.
"Anything to say about Doctor Who? I never got into it as a kid, but Mrs. Serious & I have enjoyed watching the recent revival on DVD."
I wrote quite a bit on the topic about a year ago, and my thoughts on the topic haven't changed much since then. Curious about how the new Doctor will be, but that's still a ways off yet. And I'm still renting the occasional old Who serial from Netflix.
- Dan Wars demands
"So how many comic books do you have, anyway?"
I was actually asked this in one of my previous Q&A sessions. I said about 20,000 then, so...lessee, about 8 new comics a week...let's say another 1,000 added to that.
- Employee Aaron tempts fate by asking
"What kind of vampire would you be?"
The firin' kind.
- Anonymous puzzles me with
"How many ways can you show us how to solve 'Zzzax Mmmaze' using edited scans from 1980's issue #12 of Marvel FUN AND GAMES MAGAZINE?"
Er...I suppose any number of ways, if I'm using edited scans. I can remove all the lines of the maze, I can Photoshop (poorly) a bridge stretching from the Start to the Finish...that sort of thing.
"And can you do it better than your (currently active) comics blogger friends on a meme?"
I don't know...that Dave runs a mean Photoshop. I wouldn't want to challenge him to a combination scanning/rap contest.
- Anonymous asks
"Do you believe that old Swamp Thing comics can forsee and prevent disasters in the future? Like say, THIS ONE predicting THIS?
Embrace the undeniable wisdom of SWAMP THING comics.
EMBRACE IT!"
Dude, you don't need to tell me twice. As soon as Swamp Thing starts giving me lottery numbers and horse race results, I'll be totally set!
- Billy inquires
"Can you comment on the first part of this piece?
http://www.comicbookresources.co...rticle& id=19650
Specifically, are Marvel titles really the only reason folks go to comics stores?"
Well, no, but Marvel and DC do drive the weekly comics sales event, so missing one or the other would be bad news all around.
- Okay, now for a couple of questions that popped up in the comments sections for my answers posts...like these few from Flossin:
"-I know this blog doesn't really deal with Marvel stuff (and I can see why) but here's a question: Since everybody is sick of Wolverine and the fact that he's everywhere, what do you think would make him 'cool' again for the people that got sick of him when he started being overexposed and overrated?"
i do deal with Marvel stuff from time to time...I'm more of a DC guy, but I don't have anything against the characters living at the House of Ideas. Well, aside from Night Thrasher. That name, man, I swear.
As to your Wolverine question...well, the answer is in your inquiry. When you only saw Wolverine once a month in Uncanny X-Men, the character's mystique and uniqueness stood out. Now that he's "overexposed," as you say, the novelty's worn off. Cutting back his appearances could go a long way to restoring some of that novelty...though the train may have totally left that station as the character has practically no mystery left.
"Did you ever in your life wore clown make-up and/or costume?"
I did wear white face make-up during my brief participation in one of those Haunted House tours that set up at the fairgrounds once a year. I wasn't a clown, though...I was some kind of...evil cave-dweller or some darn thing. I don't know.
"Do you like Madcap?"
I liked this one ish of She-Hulk well enough, I guess.
"When will the fourth issue of 'Ultimate Hulk vs Wolverine' be out?"
You'll have to ask my eventual grandchildren for the answer to that.
- Nate wants to know
"Power Pack, great super team or greatest super team?"
I suspect this question may be biased.
- Dwayne "the canoe guy" asks
"One last question: What if, somehow, Jonah Hex got absorbed into Swamp Thing? Would a bounty hunting plant elemental be the most bad-ass thing ever or the biggest joke ever seen?"
While a Swamp Thing bounty hunter would be cool, I don't know that simply absorbing Hex's body would be enough to give Swampy the gunslingin' skills. Though that'd be a useful ability. "Hey...I need...piano playing...abilities." (absorbs Franz Liszt) (Swampy starts tickling ivories)
And (phew) I'm more or less done. Thank you for putting up with this past week of question-answering, and
especially thank you for the kinds words and continuing patronage of this site.
Tomorrow: fewer italicized words!