Granted, I’m making some assumptions about this person’s particular desires.
THE COOLEST GUY ON THE BEACH
HAS HIS EYES ON THE LADIES
AND HAS DECIDED THE BEST WAY
TO GET THE LADIES
IS TO WEAR THIS
HAS HIS EYES ON THE LADIES
AND HAS DECIDED THE BEST WAY
TO GET THE LADIES
IS TO WEAR THIS
DELAYED BY ILLNESS, FORGED IN FIRE…it’s the latest installment of the End of Civilization, my nearly five-year-long series of poking through each new issue of the Diamond Previews catalog and pointing out wonderful items you should order in enormous quantities, preferably though me. So whip out your copy of the December 2009 edition and follow along:
p. 61 – Blackest Night #7:
p. 130 – True Blood Busts:
BEHOLD:
p. 188 – President Evil Yes We Cannibal T-shirt:
p. 188 – How to Draw Vampires:
2. Add pointy teeth.
3. Sprinkle some glitter (Twilight only).
4. Hide drawings in my tattered notebook and wish for a dark and mysterious creature of the night to come into my home and whisk me way into a foreboding yet romantic realm of forbidden desires. “COME WITH US, MIKE…JOIN THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF BLOOD AND FANG.”
5. Er…disregard that.
p. 306 – Kryptonian at Heart T-shirt:
p. 309 – Super Trooper Red T-shirt:
Also, does the red color of the shirt represent the blood of the countless victims crushed beneath the cruel heel of the despotic Empire? Do all the Star Wars aliens even have red blood? I bet there’s a website somewhere that’ll tell me. I bet Jawa blood looks like what you get when you squish a bug…all yellow and green and gooey.
p. 318 – Barbie Ladies of the ’80s: Debbie Harry and Joan Jett Dolls:
However, if they’re taking suggestions for future Ladies of the ’80s, might I recommend Wendy O. Williams?
p. 323 – Living Dead Dolls Freddy Krueger 2010 Remake & A Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Mez-Itz Figure:
p. 345 – Kubrick Disney Characters:
p. 346 – Kubrick Be@rbrick Series 19 Mini-figures:
p. 347 – Star Trek USS Enterprise USB Webcam:
p. 350 – Star Wars R2-D2 Bobble Head:
Anyway, I’m pretty sure his whole body bobbles, not his head, since giving R2 a giant headdome out of proportion to the rest of his body (like most other Bobbles) would be just this side of traumatizing.
p. 350 – Pac-Man Bonus Fruit Energy Drink:
I might have to pass on the Custer’s Revenge Engorged Arrow Energy Drink, however.
p. 355 – The Twilight Saga New Moon The Board Game:
p. 357 – Star Wars R2-D2 Is in Trouble Board Game:
Well, okay, maybe Chewie.
Marvel p. 20 – Deadpool Merc with a Mouth #7 2nd Printing Variant:
Marvel p. 24 – Ultimate Comics X #1:
“…The all-new ULTIMATE X ongoing bi-monthly series from the superstar dream team of JEPH LOEB and ART ADAMS.”
B…bi-monthly? Ongoing?
“But he’s got high hopes
He’s got high hopes
He’s got high apple pie in the sky hopes….”
Marvel p. 85 – Iron Man 2 Marvel Select War Machine Action Figure:
Anyway, sorry for the illness-caused outage, and thank you for your kind wishes yesteday. Hopefully things will be back to normal here shortly. Or whatever passes for normal.
Sorry, gang. The End of Civilization, previously planned for today, has been postponed.
I hope everyone has a nice Thanksgiving, where applicable. Otherwise, have a good Thursday.
…that the Laff-A-Lympics will be remembered as one of history’s cultural touchstones:
In the comments for yesterday’s post, both Tim and John comment on the “intense” adventure-oriented nature of the Richie Rich comic I presented. I’ve always thought this kind of Richie Rich comic, as common as it was, seemed a bit…peculiar, myself, contrasting the exceedingly cartoony nature of Richie with drama, action, and intrigue. Archie did it, too on occasion. I suppose ultimately it’s no more ridiculous than, say, Uncle Scrooge McDuck going on world-spanning and sometimes life-threatening adventures (though there are, I imagine, several reasons why Scrooge’s adventures feel less out of character than they do for Richie or Archie…perhaps a topic for another day).
I’ve presented these panels before, about five years ago, but this remains my favorite cognitively dissonant bit from one of the “adventure” Richie Rich comics…in this case Richie Rich Diamonds #56, where Richie is stranded in a foreign country and faces off against…um, the Vietcong, maybe?
Seriously, you think you’d want to double-check the latch on your case if you’re going to pull a stunt like this: