And then there was that time Popeye did his best Steve Martin impression.
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Three things I found on the eBay.
MING DEMANDS MORE GLITTER: a Ming the Merciless iron-on transfer from 1979 that features, yes, glitter. Thanks, Disco Era!
Here’s an old Popeye and Olive pin, featuring Popeye before the tragic loss of his right eye:
And then there’s this:
This belt buckle is delivering a message, and that message is “Batman will traumatize the skulls of criminals…for America,” which is something we can all get behind, surely.
Blogging about blogging is a sin. (Plus, bonus Popeye content!)
Popeye speaks truth, from E.C. Segar’s Popeye Vol. 4, available from Fantagraphics at finer stores everywhere. Comics don’t get much better than this.
Anyway, in the “if it’s not one thing, it’s another” department: after the website outage last week, I started having intermittent connectivity problems with my ISP this weekend, and I ended up spending time trying to get that resolved instead of working up a post for today. Yes, I know, I’m a terrible blogger. So let me just get a site note or two posted for today, and hopefully things will be back to normal soon.
- A friend of mine on the Twitter referred to me by the user name of “progressiveruin” instead of the name I’ve actually been using (which, oddly enough, is my actual name of “mikesterling”). However, once I saw it, I thought “well, better grab it while it’s available,” so yes, there is now a “progressiveruin” account on Twitter. Currently it’s just an autofeed for new posts on the site so you won’t miss brilliant content like today’s, plus the occasional announcement, but maybe I’ll think of something else to do with it soon. Hey, it’s free, what the hell.
- Speaking of the Twitter, let me remind you again that I’m still contributing to that Fake AP Stylebook thingie. It’s a magical world of wonder and beauty, so please visit.
- You know, for what was basically a simple post about a Batman cartoon, I’ve been getting a lot of discussion on the topic of Batman’s gun usage. Hey, who knew?
On a related note, did people really hate the Batman: Year Two series that much? I thought it was okay at the time, though I have to admit it’s probably been a decade or so since I’ve last read it. And, yeah, Greg brings up a good point about how messed up it is.
- For the love of all that is good and holy, buy stuff through my Amazon links. Especially expensive stuff. Hey, I’m sure your Grandma needs three or four iPods, so get buyin’.
- Er, yeah, comics:
Punishermax #2 – Great comic, but still hate the name. Steve Dillon is probably my favorite Punisher artist, and Jason Aaron is almost out-Ennis-ing Garth Ennis on this.
Citizen Rex #6 – I love these short-run comics Gilbert Hernandez has been doing (this last one with brother Mario). Can’t wait for the next one!
R.E.B.E.L.S. #11 – Have now heard several people who picked up the previous issue for the Blackest Night tie-in describe how surprised they were at how much they liked the comic. Good, because it is a fine comic, despite my own less-than-enthused response to the ongoing Starro storyline. But hopefully some folks will stick around for more issues past the tie-in (though I haven’t seen any recent back issue movement, which may not bode well for new readers, especially on a comic that just started).
- And…er, well, that’s it, really. How are you doing?
Swee’Pea does seem awfully excited about nuclear power plant jobs.
And now…three things I never expected Swee’Pea to say:
Though, to be fair, that’s not really anything I’ve ever expected Popeye to say, either.
Also, in Popeye’s town careers are stenciled onto the back of your work clothes, and apparently folks of Asian descent are a bright yellow.
And it should be noted that to stare head-on into Popeye’s face
is to stare directly into your nightmares.
images from Popeye and Environmental Careers (1973)
No time for a real post, so it’s back to the Popeye DVD.
FISH-FACE POPEYE: DISTURBING
TENTACLE POPEYE: DISTURBINGER
WHISTLING THROUGH HIS MISSING EYE POPEYE: DISTURBINGEST
I mean, seriously…GAAAAAAAARGHFADJKLFLADSLKL.
stills from the Popeye the Sailor 1933-1938: Vol. 1 DVD set
A little something for your unquiet dreams.
CLEAN-SHAVEN BLUTO
CLEAN-SHAVEN BLUTO LICKING HIS RAZOR
CLEAN-SHAVEN BLUTO, POST-COMEUPPANCE
stills from the Popeye the Sailor 1933-1938: Vol. 1 DVD set
Look on Wimpy’s works, ye mighty, and despair!
from Popeye #41 (July-Sept 1957)
You know, all things considered, I’d totally work there.
In other news:
- We’ve sold out of Trinity, DC Comics’ new weekly title, two weeks in a row. Guess we slightly underestimated the demand for a third new weekly title, even though orders were up even over the last couple of issues of Countdown (which mostly sold strongly, but still experienced a sales increase near the end, there).
We’ve also had no increase in interest in Hulk comics. Reaction to the film seems to waver between “liked it a lot!” and “eh, it was okay for what it was,” but either way, it doesn’t seem to be encouraging anyone to pop in and look for Hulk books.
- MIKE GETS ALONG WITH THE CUSTOMERS: Had a couple of fellows drop by on Saturday from out of town, and they indicated they were readers of Progressive Ruin, which brought us to this conversation:
Customer: “Yeah, we’ve been reading about this shop on your site!”
Me: “And you still came by?”
But they were very nice, and bought lots of stuff (always appreciated!) and if you guys are reading this…thanks! And nice to meet you!
Also, I had another customer later in the day remark on my air of authority. Finally, my graying temples are beginning to pay off.
- Pal Dorian threatened to do it, and do it he…er, did, as he brought me a copy of this movie on DVD:
And to think I actually read the novelization for this. Ah, well, I guess I can give the actual film a go.I should note that they’re tryin’ awfully hard on the back of the DVD case to sell me on this movie’s wackiness:
“Cosmic comedy is on the prowl when an extraterrestrial cat named Jake is forced to crash-land his spaceship on Earth. Jake then proceeds to lead a scientist, his girlfriend, and a team of baffled scientists on endless escapades during his unscheduled and hilarious visit!”
Really, from all that, the one thing I have the most problem with is that the cat…the cat from another planet, mind you…that the cat’s name is the totally extraterrestrial-sounding “Jake.” Yeah, I know that’s a dumb thing to be stuck on, but there I am. Go figure.
I’m very sorry about the Popeye thing.
Hey, you. Yeah, you. Do you like funnybooks? Do you like funny funnybooks? Do you have even the slightest interest in the history of comics?
Do you have twenty-five bucks?
Then BEHOLD:
900 PAGES OF HEMBECK
All his “Dateline:@#$%” strips, all his Fantaco magazines, many fanzine illustrations, and lots, lots more. I don’t throw the phrase “Highest Recommendation” around too often, but I’m using it now. This book has my absolutely HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION…Hembeck is one of the comic industry’s great comedic treasures, and to have this much of his work in one place is almost too good to be true.
So tell your local retailers that you must have this book. And any retailers that are reading this? Order a few less copies of some of those titles currently warming your shelves, and order some copies of this instead. God will smile favorably upon you for doing so.
(A certain Mr. The Dog and a Mr. Doane have a few words on the subject as well.)
I’ve had some links from a message board lately to my memories of the ’90s comic market crash…so if you’re coming here from there…hello! How are you? Some of you may not agree with some of my conclusions, or may not like my observations, but this is how I saw it, and your mileage may vary.
If you want to read more of my ’90s crash memories, here are some links:
Turok #1 and Adventures of Superman #500 and their roles in the crash
My readers’ contributions as to which comics had a part in the crash
A brief follow-up to release dates of certain ’90s titles
I welcome questions re: the market crash, and I answer: 1, 2, 3, 4
And now, a stupid thought I had after dealing with a bunch of copies of Marvel’s Champions comic:
I wasn’t a reader of that title, so I’m asking…did a scene like this ever happen in the comic?
Angel: “So, hey, Ghost Rider…what’s your deal?”
Ghost Rider: “Sold my soul to the devil.”
Angel: “Huh…tough break. Anyway, what’re we going to do about that Nazi bee-guy?”
Did any of the Champions ever try to get Johnny Blaze out of his satanic contract? You’d think they’d attempt to help out a teammate who was, oh, I don’t know, in danger of losing his immortal soul to Old Scratch.
Then again, I suppose the conversation could have gone like this:
Angel: “So what’s your deal?”
Ghost Rider: “Sold my soul to the devil.”
Angel: “Uh, yeah…that’s tough.” (THINKING: “Yeah, sure, buddy…I know you’re just another closeted mutant.”)
So if they think Ghost Rider is just, I don’t know, Vanilla Ice-ing them, trying to be all tough and saying he’s “from the streets” (or “fueled by Satan”), I can buy Ghost Rider’s teammates not going out of their way to help.
But then again, most Marvel heroes tend towards the “credulous” side of the scale…plus the Champions met Zeus face to face in one issue I looked at, so I’d have a hard time believing they wouldn’t accept a deal with the devil, too.
So, I don’t know…just some random blathering. Don’t mind me. ‘Course, it’s all moot if the Champions did try to help out their flaming skull-headed pal….
More random nuttiness:
Following the odd Popeye-esque arms on the Punisher that I spotlighted a few days ago, I had a very, very strange vision:
Swee’Pea, Olive Oyl, and Poopdeck Pappy’s bulletstrewn and bloodied bodies, laid across the grass of Central Park, with Popeye, sailor suit stained with red, falling to his knees and wailing in despair “NOOOOOSK!”
He then enters his mission of vengeance as the Pop-isher, heavily armed (in more ways than one), his black shirt featuring a white skull with one eye squinting.
(“Stars and Stripes” starts playing)
“I’ve had all I can stands…”
(cocks shotgun)
“…and I can’t STANDS NO MORE!”
Supporting cast: Bluto as Jigsaw, Wimpy as Pop-isher’s assistant Microwimp.
Yeah, yeah, I know…”up the medication.”
Employee Jeff: “Next time I go to a convention, I want to see Dan Didio and Joe Quesada get into a fight…”
Me: “…Wearing Speedos.”
Employee Jeff: “GAH! No!”
I’m still accepting contributions to the “Mike’s Lookin’ for New Title Banners” drive…in fact, there’s no deadline, so as long as this site is active, feel free to send ‘em in as inspiration strikes. Remember: 825 by 100 pixels, “mike sterling’s progressive ruin” all in lower case monospaced Courier font. Prizes probably won’t be awarded, no money will change hands, fame and fortune will probably not be yours, there’s no guarantee I will use your banner, or for how long. I’m simply exploiting your goodwill for my benefit, and I thank you for it.
Seriously, though, you folks have been sending in some fun banners, and I do appreciate the time and effort you’re taking. I plan on beginning to showcase them sometime this week.
NOT COMICS, as Mr. Spurgeon would say: I’ve been listening to an enormous amount of Jack Benny lately. Nothing cheers a fellow up quite like Jack, Mary, Rochester, Don, Phil, Dennis, and the rest.
Radioactive Man, odd inquiries, monsters, shilling, bills, and Popeye.
So, at long last, I got my 7-11 exclusive Radioactive Man funnybook (#711, natch), courtesy pal Brook. He heard of my need, kept an eye out, and lo, he did find a stack of freshly delivered Radioactive Man comics in the distant and wild jungles of Montalvo, and picked up a copy for me. He’s a swell guy, that Brook.
I’m not sure what the distribution is like on these things…is there just one batch shipped per store (when Brook went back to check for more copies at that particular 7-11, they were gone), are there follow-up shipments, does every 7-11 get them? I have no idea. The 7-11s in my neck of the woods never seemed to have received any, or they only received one shipment and blew everything out already.
Anyway, I’ve discussed the contents previously (two reprints, one new story), along with a couple gag ads I suspect have seen print before, and the new front and back covers pictured above. It’s a nice little package, and even the shrinkwrap is attention-grabbing…here’s a close-up of the top of the bag:
If you still want a copy of this, haunt your local 7-11, or wait a few weeks for the Simpsons movie to be out of theatres, and copies of this comic should be cheap and plentiful on the eBay.
Apparently I missed a weird moment or two at the store when I was out on Monday. There was a customer there who was following Employee Aaron around and asking him an endless series of questions. Here are actual examples:
1. “Why does Cthulhu have to be so scary?”
2. “Do I look gay?”
Wow, how do you answer that? “First, Cthulhu is scary because he wasn’t hugged enough as a youngster and now he’s acting out. Second…yes.” Okay, I have no idea what the guy actually looked like, but if someone asks you that, you might as well just say “yes” and see what will happen.
Also, apparently the most popular weapon used by comic book characters is the katana. Sure, why not?
MY NAME
IS HORACE
Sorry, just watched the Monster Squad DVD, and that’s been stuck in my head ever since. Even more so than “Wolfman’s got nards!” And you know, when my pal Rob and I were sitting in the movie theatre, and we heard that particular bit of nard-related dialogue, we both knew right then that a cinematic legend had been born.
Now, perhaps this film hasn’t aged quite as well as its thematic cousin The Goonies…the effects are a little more creaky, the plot contrivances a little more, well, contrived. Plus, I think I’ve had sneezes that are longer than the runtime of this flick. But, it’s an amiable enough movie with plenty of laughs and amusing performances by the leads, the monsters themselves are nicely designed, and the DVD release (which I’d been anticipating for quite a while now) has about a bazillion extras, so…well, I don’t buy too many DVDs any more, but I had to have this one in the collection. Plus, it does the “fighting all the classic monsters in one movie” thing a hell of a lot better than Van Helsing.
Those of you offended by crass commercialism, turn away for a moment.
I was going to put up the Babylon 5 link with yesterday’s post, until I realized I was talking about how the version of the DVD distributed by a major national chain comes with extra material, and putting up an Amazon link with that seemed…well, kind of silly. But, if you don’t care about the extra comic book, there’s a link for your convenience.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to fill up my site with Amazon ad after Amazon ad. I will use them once in a while, but I won’t overdo it, I promise. (I have another DVD in my possession at the moment that I’ll eventually discuss here, and that’s definitely getting an Amazon link posted with it, just out of sheer perversity).
And why the Popeye DVD link? I mean, aside from the fact that old Popeye cartoons are the Greatest Thing Ever? You’ll see in a moment.
One thing I’m glad about the San Diego Comic Con being over…that mad crunch of product being released over the last month in order to have it out for the show has finally lightened up a bit. Combined with the higher than usual number of “event” books and Big Releases, along with folks trying to get their books out before the end of the month so they wouldn’t be considered late and made returnable…our distributor bills were insane.
Luckily business has been pretty good, but still, those bills were reaching ’90s boom levels, almost.
In honor of the release of the original, wonderful Popeye cartoons on DVD, please enjoy Popeye Vs. Anime, a video you’ve already seen on Boingboing but I wanted to put here anyway:
I would note that Popeye seems a little out of character, as he would help anyone in need regardless of how freaky they may seem, but I don’t want to be that guy, you know?
"Everyone has C.B. now."
Popeye #138 (January 1977) – art by George Wildman
Yes, it’s the special C.B. issue, and that cover lies! It lies to you, as neither Olive Oyl nor Wimpy appear in this ish. There is plenty of hot C.B. action, however.
This first page sets up the situation, with Popeye following a huge freakin’ bomb that, you’d think, they’d try to disguise a little to reduce citizen panic:
And for some reason, Popeye is more concerned with Swee’pea using his real name than with Swee’pea sitting on top of said huge freakin’ bomb.
Oh, and the name of the bomb as revealed in that first panel is what we call in the biz “foreshadowing.”
Enemy agents are afoot, however, and Popeye proves his worth with his observational skills:
Also in the mix is Bluto and/or Brutus (details here), whose sole purpose in this story is apparently to give Popeye crap over the C.B.:
…which apparently annoys Popeye so much that he violates all manner of physical laws to deliver a punch over the radio waves and through “Big Bee’s” receiver:
And yes, if only we could do that now, in this internet age. I’ve had a few e-mail punches I’ve wanted to deliver.
Anyway, the bad guys get a hold of the huge freakin’ bomb, and capture Popeye in the process. It’s then that Popeye learns the plan: apparently the bad guys are going to drop the bomb on King Willie’s country, while informing the country that it was in fact the king himself who dropped the bomb, thus clearing the way for the chief bad guy to step in as ruler. Yeah, okay.
Popeye manages to get free momentarily, and raises King Willie on the C.B.:
Afterwards, Popeye is forced at gunpoint to haul the bomb to the plane, which he now apparently seems perfectly happy to do, much to the consternation of Swee’pea:
The plan is in action! The chief bad guy prepares to inform everyone that the king is dropping his bomb on them, and thankfully there’s one guaranteed way to get a hold of everyone simultaneously:
But the joke’s on them…it’s inferred that, during their brief C.B. radio chat, King Willie informed Popeye of the true nature of the Happiness Bomb, thus explaining why Popeye was so willing to help out. The bomb explodes, revealing:
The bomb apparently contained an elaborate heating system for the hamburgers and hot dogs, plus a refrigeration system for the ice cream…the latter especially important given that, as seen at the beginning of the story, the big metal bomb was being hauled through a desert.
The somewhat disturbing conclusion:
Well said, Popeye, well said.
