So it is once again Black Friday, that one big sales day of the year where the giant retailers sell, oh, I don’t know, 75-inch LED flat screens for a dollar and a trashcan full of Blu-rays for 50 cents (one flat screen and one bucket per customer, please) and little Mom ‘n’ Pop ‘n’ Nerd stores like our own watch tumbleweeds bounce down the empty streets while everyone is at Best*Mart or Walfry’s or wherever, waiting for that time late in December when people have finally devoured everything at the malls and their search patterns spiral out in the forbidden countries, where live stores that only exist in that one spot and not franchised across this great land of ours.
Er, okay, it’s not as bad as all that. We have a big sale all weekend, and our sales usually do pretty well, so I’m not too worried about that. But it does seem the focus is on giving money to the big guys, while the little guys gotta wait their turn, and…you know, I can dig it. In this economy, you’ve got to grab the deals where you can and stretch your dollars as best you’re able, so I completely understand. However, don’t forget your pals in the outlands away from the malls and the big-box stores…we’ve got some deals too, maybe, so after you get your two X-Station 180s for the price of one, drop by the shop and buy a graphic novel…for BIG BIG SAVINGS.
Also, come by and see my head full of totally naturally brown and not dyed at all hair turn grey again. That’ll probably be fun.
Well, going through a box in the Vast Mikester Comic Archive, what did I find?
However, I am reasonably certain I don’t have the magazine-sized fifth issue, which is also in this collection, so perhaps I’ll be getting a copy of Junkwaffel out of this after all.
(CUT TO two weeks later:
“Oh, man, I already have six of these!”
throws Junkwaffel #5 into the extras box)
Here’s the official site for the International Jack Benny Fan Club.
The Museum of Broadcast Communications’ biography and filmography of Benny.
An overview, with stills, of “The Mouse That Jack Built” – an animated take-off on The Jack Benny Show.
A 1941 Time Magazine article about Benny’s tenth anniversary in radio.
Jack Benny’s theme song – warning: autoplays.
The Radio Hall of Fame page for Benny, including an embedded audio sample of Jack at work.
Did The Jack Benny Show ever jump the shark? Bite your tongue, sir!
An appreciation of Benny’s Sherlock Holmes parody, including the full radio show where it appeared.
A video clip of Benny’s duet with Gisele MacKenzie.
Benny and Johnny Carson receiving the key to the city of Anaheim.
So, whom do you like better? Jack Benny, or his longtime “rival” Fred Allen?
Jack Benny and Groucho Marx:
In case his grave wasn’t clue enough, here’s a page where you can check if Mr. Benny is alive or dead. “Zombie” not an option.
It’s true: Jack Benny arranged for a rose to be sent to his wife Mary every day for the rest of her life after he passed on.
A radio commercial for Kodak featuring Benny and his old foil, Frank Nelson (the “yyyyyyesssss?” guy).
Stills and animated gifs from Benny’s western film Buck Benny Rides Again.
Another pic: Jack Benny with President Truman.
Turner Classic Movies’ article about Benny’s much-maligned (at least by Benny and his radio show cast) film, The Horn Blows at Midnight.
Archives of Benny’s radio and TV programs.
A forum discussion of Mr. Benny’s numerous 39th birthdays.
So I’m taking the day off today, but not before posting a couple things:
“Dispatching the alternative minimum tax is like trying to kill the Swamp Thing, a Hollywood horror beast of the 1970s that kept resurfacing no matter how many times you tried to get rid of it.”
Oh, okay, su…wha-huh?
“What’s up people? I’m a crime fighting vegetable in the swamps of Louisiana! When I’m not slapping some evil mad scientist like a little b*tch; I’m mackin’ wid da Cajun hos. You ever wanna go slummin’ with me, holla. Oh, and I’m Jewish; so shalom biotch!
“Who I’d like to meet:
“I’d like to meet a woman that knows how to treat a plant right. You know, a woman that doesn’t mind fetching a little miracle-gro for me from time to time. I’m not saying I’m high maintenance, this brother just needs a little sunshine and fertilizer now and then. And I’m packin’ a twelve inch cucumber so if she was tall that would be good too. She also has to like swimming and can’t be afraid of alligators and snakes and sh*t.”
I can’t help but think that this sounds slightly different from the Swamp Thing I’d been reading about all these years.
He’s also a member of the adults-only Myspace group “gEt reaDy fOr a naSty tiMe,” which, again, seems a tad out of character for ol’ Swampy.
See you all tomorrow!
March 13, 1781 – Sir William Herschel discovers Uranus – grade school comedians are forever in his debt.
March 13, 1911 – Noted fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard born.
March 13, 1921 – Mad Magazine cartoonist Al Jaffee is born.
March 13, 1930 – Bunny Yeager, photographer of Bettie Page, born.
March 13, 1939 – Neil Sedaka born.
March 13, 1942(?) – Charo born! Cuchi-cuchi!
March 13, 1950 – William H. Macy, star of Mystery Men, is born.
March 13, 1964 – Kitty Genovese’s murder is witnessed by several people, none of whom attempted to help her or call the police. Alan Moore would use this incident in Watchmen…an article reprinting all the related panels may be found here (though it notes the date as the 14th, which contradicts most other sources).
March 13, 1969 – Mike Sterling is born. The world trembles in fear.
March 13, 1969 – Amazing Spider-Man #73 is released to newsstands (see here for details).
March 13, 1983 – Evil Dead star Bruce Campbell marries Christine Deveau.
March 13, 1992 – Shakes the Clown, Bobcat Goldthwait’s finest cinematic achievement, released in the U.S.
March 13, 1992 – This fellow from Mike Kazaleh’s Har Har #2 celebrates his birthday in funnybook form.
March 13, 1997 – The “Phoenix Lights” are witnessed over Phoenix, Arizona.
March 13, 1999 – Lee Falk, creator of The Phantom, dies.
March 13, 2006 – Mike Sterling celebrates his 37th birthday. The world trembles in pity.