That’s a terrible come-on. Especially since I first read it as “sit on dynamite,” which, I’m sure, can only be taken as a positive statement in very specific circumstances:
Also of note: the rare appearance of the “Kotter Kids” alternative nomenclature for the Sweathogs, surely used to spare the sensitive the emotional affront of “sweat” and “hogs” mixed together into an unholy union; plus a shocking glimpse into the competitive world of mood ring price wars.
And, please, friends, if you can…close your eyes and picture in your mind the magnificent beauty of that Fonz design on a bright orange t-shirt. …You’re welcome.
Here’s a neat little item that just happened to fall out of one of the comics in a collection I was processing: a 1997 promo mini-folder (measuring about 4 1/2 inches wide) for DC’s various JLA-related projects:
Oh, the Electric Superman costume…we had no idea how good we had it as far as alternate Superman costumes go.
On the back of the little folder thingie is a shot of the Evil Justice League:
…and I know I joked in the subject of this post that there’s no real difference between the two Aquamen, but…J’onn J’onzz and Kyle Rayner aren’t that much different aside from the skull motifs and Evil Kyle’s spiky hair (a universal sign of evil, natch). That giant creepy smile on Evil Batman though…holy crow.
Inside the folder was JLA project-plugging ahoy:
“Hey, ‘July’ sorta sounds like ‘JLA’ if, you know, you…uh, mispronounce it.” “BRILLIANT! That’s our month…get those fliers printed!”
Yeah, yeah, I know, “as deadly weapons,” but other possibilities seem more likely. And if you don’t register, then what? Your hands get kicked out of the country? Your hands get locked inside a box? The government sends out Hand-Sentinels to hunt your digits down?
“I see you have hands…may I see your Hand Registration papers, please?” “Yes, officer….”
ad from Legion of Super-Heroes #291 (September 1982)
I would also like to take issue with the premise of this ad, from the same Batman Forever campaign:
As I recall, the Bat-frenzy that hit during the initial Tim Burton Bat-films release didn’t repeat itself for the following films in the franchise. I think we may have seen a slight bump in interest when Batman Returns came out, but the Batfilm-bump was pretty much no longer a sales influence by the time Forever was released. (And is it just me, or does that picture of Batman anticipate the post-Flashpoint redesign nearly 16 years ahead of time?)
And, from 1997…yeah:
“There might be Batman and Robin memorabilia in this store? We better not go in!”
1. Both shirts “available in XL only!!” — so enjoy, kids!
2. Hey, at least Wonder Woman’s breast and arm made it into the ad…thank goodness they’re not blocking our view of Remarkably-1990s Superboy. (In fairness, she does appear to be more properly represented on the shirt.)
3. I wonder if DC did have a cap to match off against Marvel’s Wolverine hat…if so, it probably featured Lobo, keeping the shirts’ theme of matched-up characters being in the same sequence on each. (NOTE: cap is “fresh.”)
4. You know, looking at the shirt designs now (and admiring Marvel’s “this is what the winners will be showing off!” blurb)…I can’t recall the outcomes of all the battles between these characters. I remember who won between Superman and Hulk, and the Wolverine/Lobo battle (which should have been just crazy violent, but ended up being pretty lame, as I recall), but no idea on the Wonder Woman/Storm or Superboy/Spider-Man battles. Time has taken those precious memories away from me…but not from Google, I guess, if I ever feel like looking it up.
I do seem to remember the Batman/Captain America fight was bit of a cheat, too…like it was called in favor of one of them without really doing a proper fight. I need to get a look at that again and see if it makes any more sense to me now. …Because as a fully-grown adult, I demand satisfying resolutions to my superhero battles.
5. Of course, the real disappointment was no Swamp Thing/Man-Thing fight. I guess Marvel and DC just plain didn’t want to sell any comics.
Promotional flyer for retailers to copy and distribute, circa late 1996/early 1997:
Had Thunderbolts originated within the last five years, it probably would have been the original Avengers, since, you know, apparently we need as many Avengers titles as possible.
The “original X-Men” idea is pretty much “X-Factor, Part II,” which I’m sure was the intended gag. And having the big reveal be “it’s a dude from the New Warriors, plus a bunch of new guys!” would have been a tad disappointing, I think. But Team America…now we’re talking! Not enough motorcycle-riding superhero teams in comics nowadays, for my tastes. (I was going to say something about using a fairly insular gag about an obscure comic in a flyer intended to attract new readers, but…well, “insular” is pretty much implied whenever you talk about most modern superhero funnybooks, isn’t it?)
