Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

§ July 2nd, 2018 § Filed under End of Civilization § 5 Comments

There it was just a-walkin’ down the street, singin’ “Do wah diddy diddy dum Diamond Comics” — it’s the newest installment of the End of Civilization, seemingly closer than ever, so bust out your copy of the July 2018 Diamond Previews and follow along while there’s still time:

p. 44 – Bully Wars #1:

PRIVATE BULLY L.S. BULL REPORTING FOR DUTY and maybe some hot dogs, SIR:


 
 
p. 100 – Stranger Things #1:


For the full 1980s nostalgia effect, this comic should be in black and white, guest-star Concrete and/or Boris the Bear, and feature plenty of Tom Peterson references.
 
 
p. 104 – Mystery Science Theater 3000 #1:


Now if, TV’s Frank forbid, this particular issue turns out to not be any good, will a future issue of the Mystery Science Theater comic feature Jonah and the ‘bots riffing over pages from the first issue? And if that issue doesn’t work out, the next issue riffs over that issue? Just endless recursion…maybe the Overstreet Price Guide’s first “infinity contents” notation.
 
 
p. 147 – Star Trek Vs. Transformers #1:


If the Enterprise doesn’t transform into a giant robot at some point during this series, I’m calling my congressperson.
 
 
p. 154 – Batman/The Maxx #1:


Ah, I can’t wait to hear all the people who see this on the shelf start reminiscing about how they used to get high and watch Batman and the Maxx on MTV back in the day.
 
 
p. 178 – From Hell Master Edition #1:


Wait, a colorized version of From Hell? This is going to just wreck the market for the From Hell coloring books I’m, um, totally not printing up in the back of my shop.
 
 
p. 196 – Vampirella/Dejah Thoris #1:


“Hey, Dejah, why are we both dressed like this?”

“You know, Vampi, I feel like this is just pure titillation.”

“Well, let’s do something about it!”

VAMPIRELLA/DEJAH THORIS: THE EVENING GOWN AGENDA #1, COMING SOON
 
 
p. 311 – Garfield Complete Works Volume 1 1978-1979 TP:


I can’t believe a comic strip about our 20th President has been running for so long. I’m just afraid some of the political humor from the earlier volumes will seem a bit dated. Here’s hoping for annotations!
 
 
p. 311 – Guide to Groot A Sound Book HC:


Look, there’s only one way this can go, which can’t possibly be what they do with it, but the solicitation text sort of implies it, but there’s got to be other stuff mixed in, like general sound effects and such, but I would love nothing more than if each sound button on this book was just “I AM GROOT” in slightly different inflections. I mean, that’s what it has to be, right?
 
 
p. 332 – Lego Star Wars Ideas Book:


…And a lot of those ideas involve dudes making Star Wars Lego adventures with no girls in them. Hey, it’s a better use of their time than petitions or manifestos no one at Lucasfilm/Disney will ever take seriously ever.
 
 
p. 333 – DC Super Heroes: Super Heroes Say Please! Board Book:


“Ma’am, may I rip off your head and kick it around like a hacky sack, please?”

“Oh my, this young Lobo gentleman is so polite!”
 
 
p. M109 – Universal Monsters Dracula 1 Inch Punk Pin:


Not many people recall Dracula’s short stint as the drummer for False Confession, but we old-timers remember.
 
 
DC Previews p. 48 – Scooby-Doo Team-Up #42:


It’s the all-gorilla Scooby-Doo Team-Up issue! Finally, the shocking sequel to the all-gorilla Swamp Thing annual:


 
 
Marvel Previews p. 2 – Return of Wolverine #1:


What, he was gone? How can we miss you when you won’t go away?
 
 

Special thanks to the bulliest of all bulls, Bully the Little Stuffed Bull, and his pal John for their assistance. Plus, happy 7th birthday to Bully!

5 Responses to “Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.”

  • philip says:

    Honestly, it’s the occasional Nardcore references that keep me coming back.

  • Turan, Emissary of the Fly World says:

    Given that we do occasionally know what Groot is saying–because Rocket or Thor translates it (or, in the case of his final line in INFINITY WAR, because James Gunn told us)–it might be theoretically possible to create a Groot-to-English dictionary. Perhaps someone is working on one now.

    Just kidding. OF COURSE someone is working on one now.

  • Turan, Emissary of the Fly World says:

    And this might be the nerdiest thing anyone will ever post here (I mean that seriously):

    The attempt to make that STRANGER THINGS cover evoke the 1980s is totally ruined by the use of the Lancer Books colophon. Lancer went out of business in 1973.

  • Argh!Sims says:

    Bauhaus remembes…

    Happy birthday, Bully!

  • Imp says:

    Is that the Nazi Gorilla from Dr. 13: Architecture and Mortality? Has he been in anything since D13:AaM?

    I want to say his name is PRYMAUL (TM)?

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