Mike Sterling's Progressive RuinAlone, unmourned, and unloved since 1969

Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

§ March 5th, 2018 § Filed under End of Civilization § 12 Comments

Because you demanded it! Well, because one of you demanded it! Okay, fine, because no one explicitly said “no, stop, don’t do this,” here is the new installment of the End of Civilization, presented by Progressive Ruin and Lucky Strike! “LSMFT!” Pull out your copy of the latest Diamond Previews (the February 2018 edition), smoke ’em if you got ’em, and follow along:

p. 136 – Final Crisis The 10th Anniversary Omnibus HC:

Oh, it’s been ten whole years since our “Final Crisis,” eh? …Then how do you explain THIS?

 
 
p. 214 – Son of Hitler HC:

“Get out of here, Hate-Monger! You’re not my real dad!”

 
 
p. 219 – The Beef #4:

Look, issue #1 of The Beef has been on my new comics rack for a few days now, and not one person has come in to ask “Where’s The Beef?” I’m very disappointed.
 
 
p. 285 – The Tremendous Trump: She-Trump #1:

Just the other day I overheard some young folks observing the Trump comics I had on my shelf and wondering “are these pro-Trump or are they making fun of Trump” and I honestly have no idea.
 
 
p. 331 – Lady Death Naughtier Limited Edition Artbook HC:

Hey, kids…ass!
 
 
p. 456 – The Comic Book Story of Baseball GN:

Probably not explained inside: people coming in to comic shops to sell their baseball cards, and persisting even after it’s been made quite clear that no, the shop doesn’t deal in baseball cards, and no, we don’t want to buy them, and no, we don’t know who is, since it looks like everyone’s trying to sell off their cards and not actually buy any new ones and perhaps I’ve let my personal feelings slip into this item description.
 
 
p. 496 – Batman Deluxe Cowl & Illustrated Book Kit:

“This kit includes a 6-inch tall Batman cowl with illumination feature at the lenses.”

[high-pitched raspy voice] “I’M TINY BATMAN.” [eyelights rapidly blink on and off]

PENGUIN: “Yeah, I’m not feelin’ too terrified right now.”
 
 
p. 496 – Justice League The 100 Greatest Moments HC:

In honor of the recent passing of David Odgen Stiers, let future editions of this book include his appearance as the first live action version of the Martian Manhunter in the 1997 Justice League pilot:

Yes, really.
 
 
p. 501 – 100 Things Star Wars Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die SC:

I’d say “learn how to become a Force Ghost” should be somewhere near the top of that list.
 
 
p. 501 – Star Wars Block: Over 100 Words Every Fan Should Know HC:

“Okay…here we go:
1. Ugnaught
2. Jar-Jar
3. Prequel
4. Lasersword
5. Blue
6. Milk
7. Evacuate?
8. Bloodstripe
9. Gonk…”

tempus fugit

“…93. Bad
95. Feeling
96. About
97. This
98. Power
99. Converter
And 100. Yippee.”
 
 
p. 502 – A History of Video Games in 64 Objects HC:

One of those objects had better be the Magic Dot from the Atari 2600 Adventure or there’s gonna be trouble.
 
 
p. 502 – I Am Gandhi: A Graphic Biography:

Let’s hope this is successful so that the sequel can get a comics adaptation as well:

 
 
p. 506 – Star Wars Insider #181:

Keepin’ that naked Jawa cover under wraps ’til the absolute last minute, eh, guys? Let’s be honest, that yellow banner is only barely covering his modesty.
 
 
p. 542 – Ghostbusters Egon Spengler Proton Pack Legacy Series Replica:

For only $2999.99, you can be the envy of people who wished they could just blow $2999.99 on something like this.
 
 
p. 572 – Justice League Batman Bearbrick:

“That’s it, I shall become a bat…! No, wait, not scary enough…what other animal can I mix in there to make myself even more terrifying?”
 
 
p. 572 – Peanuts Sally Bearbrick:

ṂὛ ṨẂἝἝҬ ϐᾋϐϐὋὋ Ἷ ἬᾋVἝ ṨȖƇἬ ṨἿƓἬҬṨ ҬὋ ṨἬὋẂ ὛὋȖ
 
 
p. 493 – Deadpool Monopoly:

“Heck, go ahead, pass GO! Pass whatever you want! There are no rules here! I’m wacky!”
 
 
Marvel Previews p. 28 – Amazing Spider-Man #800:

“The biggest Peter Parker/Norman Osborn story of all time unfolds over one 80-page story, a scope unmatched in comics!”

 
 
 

Hate-Monger images “borrowed” from here.