Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

§ May 3rd, 2017 § Filed under End of Civilization § 4 Comments

Pull yourself together, man! Can’t you see we have a whole new End of Civilization to get through? Pick up your May 2017 edition of Diamond Previews and follow me…into glory:

p. 154 – TMNT/Usagi Yojimbo:


Finally, the long-awaited follow-up on the evolution vs. creation discussion from Usagi Yojimbo Vol. 2 #2:


At last this debate will finally be resolved.
 
 
p. 183 – Behind You: One-Shot Horror Stories:


The shocking follow-up to this terrifying tale.
 
 
p. 208 – Mage The Hero Denied #0:


It was 11 years between The Hero Discovered and The Hero Defined, and it’s been almost 20 years since the end of that second series and the beginning of this new one. Man, it’s going to be like forty years between the end of The Hero Denied and the 2058 debut of The Hero Disco-Dances. Guess I’d better eat healthy if I’m going to be around for that one.
 
 
p. 242-3 – The Walking Dead Lucille Ballpoint Pen / Glenn Legacy Edition Action Figure

Oddly, not a gift set.
 
 
p. 283 – The Tremendous Trump:


Just trying to picture the kinds of comics we would have had with Hillary or Bernie, and, well, silver linings and all that.
 
 
p. 336-7 – Centipede #1:


Not looking forward to the eventual Custer’s Revenge comic. However, I totally call dibs on writing the Haunted House one.
 
 
p. 349 – Gwar Orgasmageddon #2:


The ultra-rare variant is of course the version where you open up the cover and you’re immediately sprayed head-to-toe with…well, let’s say “blood,” if you’re lucky.
 
 
p. 359 – No Panties, No Problem 1:


“Why, that was my high school’s prom the–”

“Mike.”

“That was on the sign we had by the door at my old jo–”

Mike.

 
 
p. 441 – Magical Dance Vol. 2:


“Good gravy, Pooh! That’s not honey! You’re eating CROSS GENRE PROPERTY EXPLOITATION”

“oh bother”
 
 
p. 471 – Black Flag #1:


Rise above my war, as the thirsty and miserable overcome their depression and life of pain with a six pack and a tv party over three nights. Jealous again?
 
 
p. 479 – Awesome Activities for Super Heroes SC:


“Batman, the Joker’s escaped again! You must come quickly!”

“I can’t right now, Commissioner, I’m…um, in the middle of something.”

“…You’re doodling again, aren’t you?”

“…NO.”
 
 
p. 479 – Batman & Robin Adventures: Catwoman’s Purrfect Plot TP:


“So, darrrrling, do you know what…comes after the ‘rising action?'”

“Holy literary innuendo!”
 
 
p. 480 – DC Super Girls Katana at Super Hero High SC:


Sadly, Katana was expelled immediately for bringing a weapon on campus, and is currently facing charges.
 
 
p. 486 – 100 Things Game of Thrones Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die SC:


“#48: Die like a Games of Thrones character.”

GOT FAN: “Uh…what?”
 
 
p. 583 – Toy Box Sofubi 013: Humpback Whale Soft Vinyl Figure:


Finally, my Star Trek IV action figure set is complete. Well, once I buy two of these, anyway.
 
 
p. 623 – Nintendo Mario and Toshi Adult Inflatable Costume:


“Itsa me! A fetish for someone!”
 
 
p. 627 – Pac-Man Chocolate Cream Sticks:


Just like the Chocolate Cream Sticks Pac-Man eats in the g–what? No, not the dots. They’re, like, one of the bonus fruits that appear, right? …Look, just eat the cream sticks. They’re tasty.
 
 
p. 635 – The Terminator The Official Board Game:


“OH NO I HAF FALLEN DOWN A CHOOOOT, I MUST GET TO THE LAD-DUH”

Look, just say it really loud. It’s hilarious.
 
 
p. 636 – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Monopoly:


Groot to jail. Groot directly to…no, huh? Look, they can’t all be winners.
 
 
p. 636 – Pirates of the Caribbean Ultimate Monopoly:


You know, Pirates of the Caribbean Monopoly was fun the first couple of times, but by the, oh, fifth go-round, it kinda wears out its welcome.
 
 
p. 636 – Pirates of the Caribbean Battleship:


“So let’s parley, savvy? Savvy the ol’ parley, do we? Then parley we shall, savvy!”

“Look, I’m sinking my own battleship. I’m dead ‘n’ gone. I’M OUT”

4 Responses to “Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.”

  • philfromgermany says:

    Nice hardcore reference on the Black Flag book. I remember (God knows why) an Image pouches and froth book by Dan Fraga by the same name from the cheap bins. Never sparked enough interest to even flip through it, though.

  • Rich Handley says:

    More accurately, The Treasonous Trump.

  • If they wanted a more apt ice cream (like product) license tie-in with PacMan, wouldn’t “Dippin’ Dots make more sense?

  • Simon says:

    – “p. 154 – TMNT/Usagi Yojimbo”

    Two great stews that stew great together?

    – “p. 183 – Behind You: One-Shot Horror Stories:”

    (Insert proctologist joke.)

    – “p. 208 – Mage The Hero Denied #0”

    Goth ZOT?

    – “p. 336-7 – Centipede #1”

    Still no HUMAN CENTIPEDE graphic novel?

    – “p. 471 – Black Flag #1”

    Pull her other leg, it’s got a bell on?

    – “p. 627 – Pac-Man Chocolate Cream Sticks”

    Fat-Man, more like.

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