Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

§ June 29th, 2015 § Filed under End of Civilization § 8 Comments

Psst. Hey. Hey, you. Stop lookin’ around yourself like that, I’m talkin’ to you. Anyways, you know what I got here? Yeah, you know what this is. This is the good stuff. This is that End of Civilization you’ve been hearin’ all the other kids yakkin’ about. Here, take this July 2015 edition of the Diamond Previews and check it out. Yeah, it’s free. The first one’s always free:

p. 76 – BPRD Neon Sign:


“Uh…is that a long-necked bunny with a top hat and a monocle?”

“Oh, come now, you’re just stretching for a joke at this point.”

“Okay…uh, it’s Señor Wences with a lollipop, and…he’s running really fast, making those speedlines kind of at the top, there.”

“Señor Wences. Really.”
 
 
p. 150 – DC Comics Icons Harley Quinn Statue:


5200 what? 5200 separate Harley Quinn statue designs? “Here’s one of her playing badminton! Here’s one of her doing her taxes! Add on that new wing to the house, here comes a full set of her dressed as every Green Lantern!”

…There seem to be a lot of Harley Quinn statues, is what I’m saying.
 
 
p. 156 – Star Wars Artifact Edition HC:


Yup, going back to the comic’s original art firmly establishes that Camie shot Fixer first.
 
 
p. 165 – Star Trek New Visions The Survival Equation:


OH NO, BYRNE’S PHOTOSHOP CLONE STAMP HAS BROKEN LOOSE, EVERYBODY RUN
 
 
p. 186 – From Hell & The From Hell Companion Slipcase:


Finally, these two books are conveniently stored in one handy slipcase so you can continue to enjoy that one volume again and again.
 
 
p. 218 – Science Is The New Rock ‘n’ Roll:


…In that an uncomfortable number of parents think science is also from the devil? Or that Neil deGrasse Tyson once played a flaming guitar with his tongue before smashing it onstage? Or that if you play the Second Law of Thermodynamics backwards, you hear a mysterious warbling voice intoning “GOD DID IT?”
 
 
p. 268-9 – Jughead #1:


New interpretations of the Archie gang are beginning to pile up…we’re going to see some kind of “Crisis of Infinite Archies” or “Secret Archie Wars” or some darned thing pretty soon. New Look Archie versus The New Archies, “Death of Archie” Archies vs. To Riverdale and Back Again Archies — you know, like that.

Yeah, I’d totally buy that.
 
 
p. 318 – Aliens/Vampirella #1:


DO NOT REVEAL THE SHOCKING ENDING [the Alien Queen emerges from the shadows, wearing Vampi’s costume — unspeakable desires awaken across America].
 
 
p. 451 – The Ages of Iron Man SC:


Let’s see…Silver, Bronze, Copper…nope, no iron. Sorry.
 
 
p. 458 – The Big Bang Theory Kit:


Not pictured: a “Yes, This Store Is Just Like The Big Bang Theory” t-shirt for comic shop owners.
 
 
p. 458 – Ghostbusters The Ultimate Visual History HC:


A whole chapter devoted to close-ups of bro ‘Busters fans crying after finding out just how they’re getting Ghostbusters 3 finally? Delicious.
 
 
p. 478 – Swamp Thing “Flip Mask” Black T-Shirt:


Will be wearing this all day, every day at the shop. Just me, shirt pulled up over my head, silently standing behind the counter. Occasionally I’ll shift slightly in your direction if you speak or make a sound.
 
 
p. 495 – Back to the Future Monopoly Board Game:


Do not pass GO, do not make like a tree and get out of here.
 
 
p. 520 – Pop! Peanuts Vinyl Figures:


Oh, good, I was wondering when Peanuts Zombies would hit the shelves.
 
 
p. 528 – Legend of Zelda Link Deluxe Adult Kit:


“GASP! Master gave Dobby a windsock!”

8 Responses to “Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.”

  • ExistentialMan says:

    If you promise wear the Swamp Thing t-shirt as described, I will finally make the trip from Ohio to California!

  • A very well-rounded entryin the “End of Civilization” series.
    The perfect cross-section of the PREVIEWS catalog:
    Comics, status, figurines, apparel, games… The metaphorical “balanced diet”, with all the basic “brain-food” represented.

    Except for the weirdness of the Japanese import section (YOU know what I’m talking about), but then, not everyone can eat tentacle-pr0n without an epi-pen handy.

    On a serious note, I love that Byrne is always trying new things. Even if the new things aren’t exactly”new”, they’re fairly untried in modern comics when he employs them:

    -Photo manipulated comics now (not new, but a better application than old school funetti)

    -3D rendered art in the early 2000s

    -Chemical duo-tone paper (back in the 1990s -although it WAS an old-time technique, it hasn’t been used in decades)

    All fairly successful experiments.
    (Just as long as he NEVER goes back to drawing straight with inks again. Because that was no good.)

    Oh…and my envy knows no bounds (NO bounds) that there is not a MAN-THING pull over tee shirt like that.

    BOUNDS = NO

  • Adam says:

    I showed the picture of the neon sign to three people, including someone who likes BRPD a lot more than me, and nobody had any idea what it was supposed to be.

    Great design, bros!

  • MRPRSN says:

    The windsock gag made me laugh out loud

  • Bill D. says:

    Multiple Sherry Jacksons would not be a bad thing at all.

  • Touch-and-go Bullethead says:

    That “Star Trek” cover makes sense only if we assume that the women are standing on very narrow stools of increasing heights–a most precarious situation. I presume that, inside the comic, the next panels show them teetering and falling into a heap.

  • Touch-and-go Bullethead says:

    I take that back. That is not the only explanation. Possibly the women are not really identical, but have greatly varying leg lengths.

  • Snark Shark says:

    “OH NO, BYRNE’S PHOTOSHOP CLONE STAMP HAS BROKEN LOOSE, EVERYBODY RUN”

    LOL!

    seriously, though, those photo-comix things are weird.