If he were really evil, he would have just run over the dog.
21 Responses to “If he were really evil, he would have just run over the dog.”
Mike Sterling's Progressive RuinAlone, unmourned, and unloved since 1969
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The Chosen of God
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An Absolutely Phony Guide
by The Bureau Chiefs
That’s inspired grooviness and I now want a copy!
(Giggle, Giggle!)
An epic for the age, Mike! Totally worth the wait!
*Satan IS good…except for, you know, all the evil stuff.
*Margo’s welcomed back into the shrine of Satan. OK, Satan’s a shriner. Well. How ’bout that?
*”I dare you to cross this line! OK, I double dare you to cross THIS line! All right, I double dog dare you….”
*An injured child! A dog on the run! A city street trapped in a ghostly featureless limbo!
*Woman in the background with the bandage around her head…what’s HER story? I bet its funny. Except to her. Well, maybe one day.
*Magical triangle? Loser! You don’t summon the forces of evil with anything less than a mystic hexagon!
*”Blasting wand…away! Now, blasting wand…return! I said, RETURN! Uh, could someone pull that out of the wall and hand it ba–no? Uh oh.”
*Riding off on a broom? Sigh! That’s WITCHES! Damn, what ARE they teaching police officers at the LA Policy Academy7
*Intervention by sub-plot!
*Freed from Satan’s evil influence, the young women and men went on to lead shallow, judgemental lives.
*Satan charged with ATTEMPTED murder? What has the world come to when Satan can only ATTEMPT murder?
*The dog starts his own cult with a group of dyslexic young people searching for God.
The dog was the real Satan, working to eliminate the imposters. Also he bites kids cause he’s kind of a dick.
Hey, Kids! Context!
This was great, I think I will now be on the lookout for Dell/Gold Key Adam-12 comics. great!
Well, I was perfectly willing to worship a guy who openly refers to himself as Satan, but it turns out he’s *short*?! Well, I’ll have none of that!
Once again proving the theory that the best stories of all time could only have been created in the 70’s in comics.
Hilarious. Though, of course, I resent the attack on the vertically impaired.
I wish the producers of the Adam-12 TV show had made this story into an actual episode.
I liked the part where the cops sternly call Satan “Mister.”
Ah, now it all makes sense. Glad I’m not confused anymore.
With reference to detectives and the appearance of two firefighters, this could be so easily turned into an epic crossover of the successful Jack Webb properties. By bringing in Animal Control, we could even have had a cameo appearance by Mark Harmon (as the pilot for an attempted spin-off dealing with the adventures of LA’s animal control officers aired as an episode of “Emergency”).
Now, if Satan had eventually fled to the mountains, we could work in the failed series, “Sierra”. And if Satan were also a UFO contactee, we could work in an appearance of the investigators of “Project UFO”.
“Just give the dog shifty eyes, and then everyone will suspect the dog!”
Had to wait a week for it, totally worth it. Nothing I imagined was as out of this world as this story actually WAS. The word balloon where the cop realizes that (1) the dog hit by Satan was okay and (2) was a key plot point is now my favorite balloon in comics history.
Thanks for the follow up, Mike.
Oh. My. God. This is amazing! I really can’t pick out what part is my favorite, I just know that I like it…I like it a lot.
I think Officer Jim saying, “As soon as he slips out of that other platform shoe!” is a tie with the Blasting Wand. Good stuff Mike!
The next issue, of course, was CUJO.
I kept expecting, “And then…KOREA!!” Seriously, they drew Martin Milner to look like JFK!
Donald G: And maybe the UFO could create a rift in time, which would allow an appearance by Hec Ramsey!
Also, O’Hara, US Treasury, could show up to audit Satan’s taxes.
Satan’s wig is obviously the real villain, as it is clearly shown leaping from a bald head to the relative safety of a “WHAMMM” (i.e. Hellgate). Whoever possesses the wig of Satan shall himself be possessed!
“I was born mean. By the time I was twelve I was killing, killing for Satan.”
http://youtu.be/gbWYq_p8vgo