Well, if you’ve been waiting for the onslaught of Green Lantern merchandising crap to begin, this is your lucky month, friends! I barely even touch upon all the GL stuff in today’s EoC entry, but trust me, there’s plenty. Like, the GL board game that’s basically just Trouble, complete with Pop-O-Matic, but with Green Lantern pictures all over it. Or the game where, apparently, you shoot marbles at little Green Lantern stand-ups. Crazy, man. Anyway, see for yourself as you follow along in your March 2011 edition of Diamond Previews:
p. 113 – Aquaman Death of a Prince TP:
Seems like an odd thing to be reprinting, unless DC is gearing up for the Aquababy: Rebirth mini-series.
p. 116 – Power Girl Bomb Squad TP:
So I was just doing my initial glance-through of the catalog when I saw this solicitation out of the corner of my eye. I immediately registered “Power Girl” and “Squad” in the title, but I’ll give you one guess what I briefly, shamefully, misread “Bomb” as. Go on, guess.
p. 136-7 – Green Lantern (Movie) 1:4 Scale Hal Jordan & Sinestro Deluxe Busts:
“No one will be admitted during the thrilling Jello-wrestling scene.”
p. 243 – Crossed Psychopath #4:
Reasonably certain it takes about as long to read the solicitation text as it does the actual comic.
p. 316 – Clint #9:
Well, issue #3 was close, but I think this is the first cover to fully exploit the primary reason this magazine was called Clint.
p. 349 – Green Lantern Movie Young Reader Books:
“And then there was that time Arisia and I were in love…sure, she made herself look older with her ring, but she was actually just about your age, boys and girls!”
p. 353 – The Transformers Vault HC:
Oh, so there’s where Megan Fox went.
p. 354 – The Seven Spiritual Laws of Superheroes HC:
Ooh, I sure hope the word “quantum” is thrown around a lot in this book.
p. 378 – Family Guy Slammers:
Saw the title for this solicitation, and thought, for one horrible moment, that this was actually an ad for Family Guy POGs. Maybe it’s just a non-sequitur reference to the years-ago POGs craze, but what are the chances of a Family Guy-related thing doing that?
p. 389 – Iggy Pop 7-Inch Action Figure:
“More lifelike than the real thing!”
p. 392 – Thor Movie Deluxe Series 2 Action Figures:
I suspect we’ll get some kind of explanation for what’s going on here eventually. Frankly, I’m not sure I want to know.
p. 397 – Doctor Who Weeping Angel Mini-Bust:
If you have any children in your household who are Doctor Who fans, this would be the worst thing to buy them. Trust me on this. Unless, of course, you don’t much like your kids.
p. 405 – Star Wars Silicon Trays Han Solo in Carbonite & R2D2:
These ice cube trays would go nicely with my refrigerator’s built-in crushed ice Hoth Snowscape simulator.
p. 411 – Seven Deadly Sins Resin Statues:
This’ll make Show ‘n’ Tell at the private Catholic school a whole lot more interesting.
p. 417 – Green Lantern Movie Paperweights:
Finally, I have a way to keep my copy of Green Lantern #1 (1941) from being blown off my desk by sudden gusts of wind! Because if it’s one thing comic fans are going to want a paperweight for….
p. 418 – Green Lantern Movie Projection Ring:
I think what I like most about this ring is just how understated it is, what with its ONE FOOT HEIGHT.
p. 433 – Green Lantern Saves Earth Movie Board Game:
Dude, spoiler warning, please!
p. 440 – Doctor Who The Movie Special Edition DVD:
For those of you who didn’t like this when it originally aired in 1995, here’s your chance to not like it again! (And too bad, gang…it’s canon!)
Marvel Previews p. 76 – Marvel Select Red Skull Movie Figure:
Well, it’s nice that Voldemort found work now that the Harry Potter movies are finished filming.
Marvel Previews p. 96 – Rocket Raccoon Guardian of the Keystone Quadrant Premiere HC:
You know, I’m pretty sure this is absolutely the last thing I expected Marvel to reprint in hardco…
p. 101 – Trouble by Mark Millar Premiere HC:
…hold on. Spoke too soon.