Reminder: this week is Pal Dorian’s 5th Blogging Anniversary.
Congratulate the man at Postmodernbarney.com.
Just thought somebody should mention it.
You are currently browsing the archives for April, 2009
Galactus presents…the End of Civilization.
“HUMANS! Galactus must FEED upon the life force of worlds for sustenance, but must not expend any more energy than necessary in conquering those worlds for consumption. My herald upon your world, the Silver Sterling, has spent the past 50 months examining your world’s cultural artifacts and sending his reports to me…and it’s become increasingly clear that your world will pose NO difficulty for me to consume.
“You can examine my herald’s previous reports in the links present in the sidebar of this primitive communications medium. His current report, taken from your Earth publication Diamond Previews, of the Earth date May 2009, begins NOW. So says GALACTUS.”
p. 129 – The Dark Knight 1:6 Scale Joker (Gotham City Police):
Commemorating that approximately 1 second of screentime Heath Ledger had in this particular costume.
p. 168 – Beserker #2:
“As seen on the Today Show” — by no one who’s actually going to buy the book. (Well, okay, that’s not fair…there are always some people that’ll buy anything they’ve seen on TV, whether or not it’s something they’re likely to enjoy.)
p. 189 – President Evil one-shot:
Okay, it’s great people are excited about our President, and that comic publishers have discovered that slapping Obama on a cover is a good way to grab sales…but seriously, enough is enough. I’m hoping for a “Sub-Mariner Meets President Taft” special just to mix it up a bit.
p. 196 – Archie Double Digest #200:
“Archie’s dad receives the promotion he’s worked a lifetime for, but it comes at a price: the family must relocate and leave Riverdale! […] It’s the most poignant ‘New Look’ story yet.”
I’m pretty sure we’ve seen this story a number of times in Archie comics before. Then again, you can say that about pretty much any Archie story. Then again, you can say that about pretty much any story in any long-running comic book. Well, maybe not this story, but you know what I mean.
p. 210 – Female Force #5:
Okay, we’ve had five issues of origin stories for Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, Michelle Obama, and so on…I’m getting a little impatient for the Female Force superteam to finally form and start fighting crime together. I mean, c’mon.
p. 333 – Batman Brave and the Bold T-Shirt:
Tying into the popular children‘s cartoon. Shirts available in Adult Medium through XXL.
p. 346 – Star Trek TOS Series 5 PX Salt Vampire:
I’ve been trying to come up with something to say about the Salt Vampire figure other than “OOH AWESOME,” which is just sad so perhaps I should just move on.
p. 352 – The Exorcist Possessed Regan Electronic Deluxe Box Set:
There’s a crucifix joke in here somewhere, but I ain’t gonna make it.
p. 374 – Walt Disney Classics Collection Runaway Brain Figurines:
Now, I know this is based on a specific, relatively recent animated short, but still:
GAH.
p. 378 – Batroc Mini-Bust:
If ever a bust cried out for a full-figure statue, it’s Batroc. A statue of him in mid-leap, along with a sound chip containing readings of choice bits of his dialogue in an over-the-top French accent. That’s how you make Fine Art even finer, my friends.
p. 380 – Thor The Frog God of Thunder Mini-Bust:
And now…the greatest Marvel statue ever made:
p. 384 – Star Wars Chess Set:
Not shown is the Jar Jar Binks piece, that occasionally pops up and completely disrupts the game and generally makes everyone miserable.
p. 384 – Star Wars Legacy Darth Talon Mini-Bust:
Remember back when Star Wars was this mostly sexless thing? I miss those days. (And don’t throw Slave Leia in my face..er, so to speak. That never really did anything for me. Heresy, I know.)
p. 401 -Sif Ex Ikki Tousen Sonsaku Fighting Repaint Figure:
I’m assuming the panties haven’t been repainted.
p. 410 – Watchmen Be@rbricks 3-Pack:
Oh, dear…you may wish to avert your eyes:
Good God in heaven. Dig this Comedian:
That’s like the worst Mouseketeer ever.
Those do have the effect of making the plain vanilla Watchmen Kubricks a little more acceptable:
p. 412 – Land of the Lost Chaka Funko Force Bobble Head:
As much of a Land of the Lost fan that I am, I’m gonna have to draw the line here, I think.
p. 413 – Star Trek Romulan Ale Energy Drink:
I don’t know, man…the last thing you want to deal with is a wired Romulan, I tell you what.
p. 415 – Robin Secret Wishes costume:
This should awaken some new feelings in a few people. Also, I realize “Secret Wishes” is a brand name, but my initial reaction to seeing that is “what are they saying about Bruce, exactly?” Yeah, I know, a “Batman is totally gay” joke, I’m sorry.
p. 416 – Bizarro Deluxe Mask:
This is honestly far more terrifying than it has any reason to be. Casts a new light on those wacky Silver Age Bizarro stories.
p. 418 – Stargate SG-1 Coaster Set:
This seems clever and yet strangely…diminishing, for some reason.
p. 420 – Disney Traditions Mickey and Minnie Kissing Figurine:
Man…furries, I swear.
Marvel p. 3 – Reborn #1:
“Solicit to be revealed soon,” says the spot where the solicitation information should be. Totally not involving the return of the currently presumed dead Captain America, or totally not trying to make you think it involves the return of said dead Cap.
p. 103 – Mephisto Vs. Premiere HC:
This series gets the deluxe hardcover treatment. Really. Well, okay, there’s some nice John Buscema art, but…c’mon, you’re surprised by this book, aren’t you? It’s not just me?
Oh, here are those laughing Galactus panels from that issue of Hercules…
…courtesy pal Dorian:
Also included: bonus Hatless Galactus, which is…well, a bit disturbing, actually.
images from Hercules #4 (December 1982) by Bob Layton & Sam De La Rosa
Galactus clearly states his position.
…Just in case anyone was, you know, wondering.
BONUS GALACTUS CONTENT: Galactus has a good belly-laugh:
Actually, he looks a bit like he’s having a seizure, or that he needs the Heimlich Maneuver, or something. Granted, laughing ain’t something Galactus does very often, so I’m guessing it does hurt a bit.
If I recall correctly, he has a good laugh in the last issue of Bob Layton’s first Hercules mini-series as well. Alas, my copy is misplaced in the Vast Mikester Comic Archives, so a scan will follow later in the week. In the meantime, here’s pal Dorian with a taste from that same ish.
images from Fantastic Four #175 (October 1976) by Roy Thomas & John Buscema, and from Rom #26 (January 1982) by Bill Mantlo, Sal Buscema & Joe Sinnott — that’s two, two, two Buscemas in one post, at no extra charge!
I demand some consistency from my 20-year-old trading cards.
Here’s probably my favorite trading card image of Galactus, drawn by Art Adams and taken from the 1991 Marvel Universe set from Impel:
That’s a nice, imposing image of Galactus, there…is it just me, or does it have a little Moebius feel to it? Also, Adams did a handful of other very nice cards for this set, including one of Absorbing Man that, at the time, former employee Rob was trying to corner the market on, or something. He had, like, dozens of the damned things. I still have no idea why. Probably best to remain blissfully ignorant.
Anyway, back to the Galactus card…the characters in this set were given power ratings on the card backs, and here are the Big G’s:
And that’s all well and good, I suppose. I get the “stamina” thing, since he’s gotta eat a planet every few days or his blood space-sugar gets dangerously low. And his agility is low, presumably due to his size, so he’s probably not going to be doing any pirouettes. But let’s take a look at the stats from his trading card the following year:
It looks like Galactus took some dumb pills because his intelligence stat dropped a couple of points. Or maybe because he maxed out the first set of stats, they readjusted the scale to get a more accurate reading. Or maybe they’re just making this crap up off the top of their heads. Whatever.
But get a load of the speed stats on both cards. With his speed score maxed out, and his agility score as low as it is…this guy’s going to be tripping over a lot of footstools and walking into walls. And given that he’s already wearing a hat pretty much designed to keep you walking through doorways sideways, this is seriously a disaster waiting to happen. Keep him out of the china shop!
In other mostly non-Galactus news:
- Pal Dorian is celebrating his 5th anniversary of blogging this week, kicking off with pics of some of his favorite men, and continues with a look at the first comic he ever read. So congrats, Dor! Thanks for keeping at this blogging thing for as long as you have…if it weren’t for you, pal, I don’t think I’d have as much fun as I do with this site.
And by the way…Dor’s Uncomfortable Plot Summaries post just keeps going and going and going…I keep seeing new links to it pop up all the time. Even from people who actually get the Rocky joke. He was even on the front page of the Internet Movie Database, for God’s sake. And Neil Gaiman his own self was a good sport about a joke at his expense that, er, I may have been involved with. Dor’s shown me his traffic stats, and he’s getting some crazy-ass numbers….that post is probably the single most popular thing ever generated by someone in the comicsweblogosphere. You’d think some of the bigger comics sites would have noted it by now.
So again, congrats to Dor for five years of blogging. He’s a swell guy, so give him your best wishes!
- Over at the great Flash fan site Speed Force, there’s a brief discussion about how the continuity-heavy Free Comic Book Day offering Blackest Night #0 is intended to preach to the converted, rather than grab readers new to comics. And, yes, there’s that, I’m not disagreeing…but the last time I worried about a continuity-heavy FCBD offering from DC, JLA #0, the girlfriend’s nieces ate it up. So I’m not going to worry too much about it this time. No, it’s likely not going to make kids come in every Wednesday and get the latest installment of the crossover…but I’ll settle for kids popping in once in a while to buy a comic or two because they enjoyed the free comics they got.
- P-TOR shares a dream he had about me and Neilalien. A dream…or a nightmare?
Ah, what the hell…let’s do "Galactus Week."
EMO GALACTUS IS EMO:
By the way, the “mutate” referred to by Galactus’s little robot helper is none other than Marvel’s disco queen superhero, Dazzler, who had been recruited by the big G to do some damned thing or ‘nother that he couldn’t do for whatever reason. Anyway, that’s not important. But what is important is that after, what, three days, suddenly Galactus is all moody (well, moodier) after crushing hard on the celebrity babe he’d just kidnapped. You just know after he stomped off to his room in that last panel, he logged into his InsaneJournal to post private entries about his breaking heart. “Current music: Air Supply – ‘All Out of Love.'”
And now, for no good reason, I see Galactus grabbing a succession of disco singers to help him cope with whatever nefarious plans and/or emotional issues he’s dealing with. “GLORIA GAYNOR — YOUR SONG ‘I WILL SURVIVE’ HAS TOUCHED THE LONG-DORMANT HEART OF GALACTUS. YOU HAVE GIVEN ME THE RESOLVE TO CONTINUE, TO SURVIVE. TRULY THE POWER COSMIC PALES IN COMPARISON TO THE POWER OF DISCO.”
Okay, at this point, I have no idea what the heck I’m saying.
And yes, Galactus’s head-wing-antenna-thingie is missing in that first panel. Hey, he’s Galactus, he can do stuff like make part of his headgear disappear.
images from Dazzler #11 (January 1982) by Danny Fingeroth, Frank Springer & Vince Colletta
Galactus means business.
from Fantastic Four #75 (June 1968) by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby & Joe Sinnott
Sorry…got in late and had no time to properly blog. So, here’s another swell pic of Galactus. We all love Galactus, don’t we? Sure we do.
I’m probably not doing “Galactus Week” as suggested by pal Cully, at least not right now…but I totally could.
I should be writing a little something about Free Comic Book Day…
…but that can wait for later. Instead, have a pic of pissed-off Galactus:
from Fantastic Four #123 (June 1972) by Stan Lee, John Buscema & Joe Sinnott
I don’t know that Galactus is my favorite Marvel character, but he’s certainly in the top five…along with Howard the Duck, Man-Thing, Dr. Doom, and the Thing. If there were a comic that teamed up all five characters for an exciting “novel-length 18-page adventure,” I’d be all over it.
And then there was that time Spock turned his back on his Vulcan heritage so he could totally laugh at tiny naked Mr. Scott.
from Star Trek #25 (July 1974) – scan courtesy of Kevin Church,
so I didn’t have to bust the spine on my copy of Enterprise Logs #3 to get the pic
Or maybe Spock was simply trying to fit in, and he was doing this completely insincere and creepy robotic laugh to show Kirk that he was totally down with his Earth humor based on embarrassment and humiliation.
At any rate, I certainly hope Scotty reported this to Space Human Resources. Or kept this little incident in mind the next time Kirk hit him up for some hooch.
Plugs, and Free Comic Book Day.
- Released at last! America’s finest comic book:
TALES DESIGNED TO THRIZZLE #5
This one’s heavy on the Twain and Einstein, but also contains many other features of interest and amusement. Download a four-page preview at the link, there.And for those of you who need a little convincing to try something that’s not from DC or Marvel: it’s a “Dark Reign” crossover. Also, Batman is in it. No, really, you should buy it and check it out. I wouldn’t lie to you.
- It’s both what you want and what you need! It’s the third and final chapter THE CHRONICLES OF SOLOMON STONE issue #1, as revealed by Solomon Stone’s secret helpers Chris Sims, Matthew Allen Smith, and Benjamin Birdie. Read it for free! Heck, read it naked! I mean, if you’re home alone, and not looking at this on your iPhone while riding the train or anything.
- We received the balance of our books for Free Comic Book Day, coming May 2nd to a shop near you, and hopefully that shop won’t screw it up by making the books only “free with purchase” or something stupid like that. Er, anyway…now that I’ve had a good look at all the books: this is a pretty nice, balanced selection this time around, I think.
One of the better books to look out for is Drawn & Quarterly’s Nancy/Melvin the Monster flip-book, featuring John Stanley’s fine cartooning printed in color on faux-yellowed pages. It looks fantastic. Fantagraphics has a fine Love & Rockets sampler, and Bongo, as always, presents a great package of their Simpsons comics, and those are always a big hit. Boom Studios is putting out a freebie for their Cars series, based on the animated film, and I’m curious to see what reaction to that will be like from our younger customers.
But overall, quality seems to be a bit higher across the board for the freebies this year. And every year we get increasingly larger crowds at the shop for the event, so I’m anticipating a day of slightly-controlled mayhem weekend after next. So drop by…see how much grayer Mike’s hair is at the end of the day!
Also, I was interviewed over the phone for the local paper regarding FCBD a week or so ago, but I don’t think the article’s been printed yet. I wanted to tell the reporter all the stuff I’ve been telling you folks on my site for the past five years about FCBD, but I think all that came out was “DUH COMICS FREE COME GETTUM.” Hopefully a little friendly editing will make that into something coherent.
EDIT: The article is now online.
