Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.
If you’re enjoying Thanksgiving…here, take a break from putting up with the relatives and follow along in your December 2008 Diamond Previews to see a few of the goodies coming your way soon to a funnybook store near you. Friends in non-Thanksgiving areas are of course welcome as well.
BRACE YOURSELVES:
p. 222 – Female Force Sarah Palin:
Just in time for the 2008 Presidental Elec…uh oh. I mean, I get the whole “educating the public about a political figure” thing, but I’m pretty sure the sales window has slammed shut on this comic for the time being. Unless she runs in 2012, of course.
p. 234 – Chucky Vol. 2 #3:
“The carnage hits the fan as Chucky’s rampage through a reality television show continues.”
I think I may have seen enough reality show settings for genre pieces to last me a while.
p. 264 – The Dreaming #1:
You’d think DC Comics would have something to say about that. Though Tokyopop apparently published something under this title during its onslaught of product over the last few years. So there you go.
p. 277 – Whatmen:
What is this, the late ’80s? I guess we’d better brace ourselves for Watchmen parodies, whether we like it or not.
p. 355 – Jailbait Zombie SC:
“To kill an army of zombies run by gangsters, the vampire detective must team up with a precocious teen with clairvoyant powers. But, she demands something big in return: she wants to be undead, too!”
That’s too much High Concept. TOO MUCH.
p. 375 – Justice League Unlimited Martian Hanhunter Symbol T-Shirt:
“Say, Chad, what’s with the shirt with the empty Trivial Pursuit playing piece on it?”
“That’s the symbol of the Martian Manhunter.”
“The who now? You sure it’s not a Trivial Purs…oh, wait, that’s not supposed to be some kind of representation of a sphincter, is it?”
“WHAT? No!”
p. 414 – Star Wars Yoda Bronze Statue:
I don’t really have a joke or comment or anything. Just wanted to point out that this is a $1,400 item, “limited to only 80 pieces worldwide.” Only 80. You don’t say.
p. 424 – Mr. Toast and Shaky Bacon Plush Toys:
I guess these would be the more sedate cousins of Milk ‘n’ Cheese. Something about plushie bacon does amuse me, I have to admit.
p. 428 – The Kotobukiya Collection Marvel Studios Iron Man Mark II Fine Art Statue:
“The Mark II features multiple LED lights,” sez the solicitation info, and if one thing indicates “fine art” to me, it’s LED lights. To wit:
Or perhaps even this:
And maybe even this, if I may be so bold:
p. 444 – Pac-Man Power Up Energy Drink:
Unless I can actually chase and eat frightened blue-colored ghosts after drinking this, I’m not interested. (Or unless it quadruples my size and allows me to pass through locked doors without keys, for you Super Pac-Man fans out there.)
p. 452 – A Bunch of Watchmen Stuff:
There’s a bookmark set, a calendar, and this thing:
…which for a second there I thought was going to be a fleshed-out version of the brief “excerpt” we got in the actual Watchmen comic. But no, it’s a blank-paged journal, so you can, I don’t know, take notes on all the ways the Watchmen film got it wrong and how it should have been a 12-part mini-series on cable and how if they’d just asked you everything could have been fixed and we’d all have a proper movie boo hoo.
There’s also this “Thermal Mug” which changes color when heated:
Apparently the phrase “Who Watches the Watchmen” also appears. I suspect we may be getting away a bit from Alan Moore’s original intent for the series.
p. 464 – Munchkin Chibithulhu Pink Plush Previews Exclusive:
I know I say this every time, but surely by now we’ve crossed some kind of Cute Cthulhu event horizon, ensuring our destruction. I mean good gravy LOOK AT THAT THING. BIG PIC = MORE EXPOSURE TO PECULIAR CUTENESS.
Marvel p. 26 – Ultimate Wolverine Vs. Hulk #1 & #2 All New Printings:
Looks like we might still get to celebrate the third annual Ultimate Wolverine Vs. Hulk Day, after all.
But really, at this point just let it slide for a few more years, then repackage it as some kind of “nostalgic” special. “Remember this comic from when you were a kid? Well, at last, here’s the long-awaited exciting conclusion!” Hey, they’ve done it before.
