Throwing babies into wood chippers is a bad thing.
“Well, since there are so many babies, you have to expect a few are going to end up in wood chippers.”
“You have to throw the occasional baby into a wood chipper, which will give all those times you don’t throw a baby into a wood chipper that much more integrity.”
“Why are you against parents playing with their babies?”
“Look, there are millions of babies in the world, and only three or four have been thrown into wood chippers. Clearly you’ve made some kind of rounding error if you think this is worth getting upset about.”
“I’m far too important and busy and above all this to be wasting my time explaining to you why I disagree with your stand on wood chipper maintenance, but I’m going to post a half-dozen overwrought responses anyway before throwing a hissy fit and giving up, all the while steadfastly refusing to address your actual point.”
“People who own wood chippers should be free to throw whatever they want into them, and who are you to tell them otherwise?”
“Why do you hate wood chipper manufacturers?”
“First!”
