Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.
Bizarro-Mike loves all these items from new Previews! Previews am not June 2008 edition! Bizarro-Mike not want you to follow along, and ‘specially not want you to find links to earlier installments in sidebar!
Bizarro-Mike not start looking at items now! You not look also!
p. 133 – The Joker Poker Set:
“This unique collectors’ item includes a deck of 54 prop replica Joker cards (as seen in The Dark Knight film!) and a standard ‘playable’ 4-suit, 54 card deck defaced by The Joker.”
I like how “playable” is in quotes, as they know you’ll try to use this set for a poker game, and the people you’re playing with will put up with it once, at most, maybe.
p. 263 – Hack/Slash #15:
Just noting this ad as part of this site’s ongoing Jeffrey Combs-watch. “Not just a cheap knockoff, this is the real Reanimator as created by H.P. Lovecraft and envisioned by filmmaker Brian Yuzna!” says the ad copy. Are there other Re-Animator knockoffs around that have been causing problems?
p. 286 – High School Musical Volume 1 GN:
Because nothing works better in comic book form than a story that depends heavily on musical numbers (Neil the Horse aside).
p. 410 – The DC Vault A Museum-in-a-Book Spiral HC:
Oh, good…the Marvel Vault book was getting lonely on the remainder tables.
p. 418 – Dilbert 2.0 20 Years of Dilbert:
“Also included is a piracy-protected disc that contains every Dilbert comic strip to date….”
By “piracy-protected,” they mean “protected at least until the many man-hours and tons of money poured into the DRM protection scheme is handily undone by a quickie bit of programming by a bored 15-year-old computer geek in Ohio…assuming whatever ‘protection’ they’re using isn’t already obsolete by the time this comes out.”
Whoops, sorry, turned into Boing Boing for a moment.
p. 419 – Whack-A-Zombie Kit:
This isn’t so much about the item, which…well, just what we need, more zombie stuff. But I wanted to note the Previews “Zombie-Riffic!” slug that’s accompanying this solicit. Is that new? Have I missed that in past catalogs? Do zombie-related items really need the extra attention?
p. 441 – Rasl T-Shirt:
Demonstrate your immense love of the one whole issue that’s come out so far by sporting this shirt!
p. 442 – Iron Man Belt Buckle:
For some, big clutching hands displayed right above the crotch would be a turn-off. For others, a selling point. Which are you?
Additional theoretical selling point: if the repulsor emitters on Iron Man’s palms glowed. Or blinked.
p. 443 – Otaku Collegiate Navy T-Shirt & Hoodie:
Now, there was a time when being called an “otaku” was something you didn’t want to happen to you, right? I didn’t just imagine that?
p. 454 – Lego Indiana Jones “River Chase” Set:
Huh…I was wondering how they were going to repurpose all those “Crocodile Hunter” playsets.
p. 464 – Rocky 3 Minimates Box Set:
How can you not love Minimate Hulk Hogan? “Thunderlips,” man…”Thunderlips.”
p. 479 – Indiana Jones Artifact Desk Accessories:
Featuring the Ark of the Covenant Card Holder, the Fertility Statue Pencil Cup…
…and the Holy Grail Paperclip Cup. I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what Jesus used it for, too.
p. 481 – Star Wars Spirit of Obi-Wan Bobblehead:
Okay, this is only really amusing just because you know Sir Alec Guinness would have been royally pissed off by this. It wouldn’t have stopped him from cashing the checks, of course.
p. 497 – Shining Wind 1/8th Scale Statue Series Blanc Neige – Wind Edition & Elwyn:
The solicitation text makes sure to note the costuming and props for these figures, but thankfully the inset images zoom in good ‘n’ close on the important selling points.
p. 528 – Marvel Metamorphs:
WHAT MUST NOT BE SEEN – Hulk vomits out the remnants of his victims:
Wolverine pushes the limits of his healing power:
“…[Gives] kids a whole new perspective on their favorite heroes!”
I’ll say.
p. 537 – Pooh & Friends Halloween Figurines:
I knew Disney’s animated remake of Silence of the Lambs would come to no good end.
Marvel Previews p. 61 – Punisher Kills the Marvel Universe:
Well, good, we’re always getting requests for this comic. I’m glad Marvel brings it back into print on occasion. Hmmm….what’s it say in the description, there…?
“SKRULL VARIANT?” For a reprint of a comic from 13 years ago? That has nothing to do with Skrulls?
…Oh, wait, it says “Skull variant.” Never mind.
Then again…there are letters missing from “pencils” and “available,” so that “skull” could be missing an “R,” too.
