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This was Employee Jeff’s idea.

§ May 31st, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on This was Employee Jeff’s idea.

“Hey, guys, there’s no need to fight! Both sides are right…the Earth is hollow
and it’s expanding!”

(Some context if you need it.)

Sometimes, you just need a good Rob Liefeld panel to cleanse the palate.

§ May 30th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized § 3 Comments

from X-Force #6 (Jan 1992)

God bless you, Rob Liefeld.

  • If you’re keeping up with DOORWATCH ’07…we finally got replacement glass in our door. One week later. “Fast service,” my fanny.
  • Say, maybe you’ve heard that Marvel’s publishing hentai now. Okay, that’s exaggerating the point a bit, but not by much. Regardless, this is going to be one of those covers I’ll be embarrassed about having on the new funnybook rack. One thing I’ve noticed over the years…the more embarrassing the comic, the more likely Junior’s gonna race right to it, grab it off the shelf, and wave it at his mom shouting “I WANT THIS ONE!”

    Here’s another cover I was completely thrilled about racking. “Ladies and gentlemen…Wonder Woman’s taint. Please, enjoy.”

  • If I can wave my double-standard in your face for just a moment…I had Eric Powell’s delicious Goon spin-off Satan’s Sodomy Baby on the rack (sealed in the bags they came in, natch, with the only visible title being “Satan’s $#!!@ Baby”). The employees, a couple friends…they asked me, “Mike, are you sure you want this on the rack?” And I sez to them, I sez: “Yeah, sure, what the heck…it’s in a bag, isn’t it?”

    Okay, if I had any complaints or problems with young’uns trying to sneak off with the book, I would have done something else with it. But 1) no problems were to be had…most people who saw the cover were amused by the extensive warning, and 2) the point soon became moot anyway, since we ended up selling out of them pretty quickly. Which proves, once and for all, comic fans love Satan. Or sodomy. Or…well, I’ve probably tripped the net nanny filters by now, I’m sure.

    As it turned out, there was some reported panic pricing on this book that we were hearing from some of our customers. One store allegedly had the book marked at fifty bucks, but with a “half-off” sale price of only twenty-five. This would be on the day the comic came out…a week later for west coast Diamond customers than for the rest of the country, so said store probably noticed the pricing trends over that week and exploited their customer base accordingly, once they had their mitts on the funnybook in question.

    That had me wondering if our customers were buying the book for “investment” purposes, but I didn’t notice any multiple-copy purchases or any other behavior that would indicate folks were looking to make a few easy bucks. Not that I, Mr. “Google Sidebar Ad,” have any room to judge.

    I did check the eBay once I heard about the crazy-pricing…well, this wag has an opening bid on his copy of $6.66, har har, and the highest realized price for a single copy, so far, is $23.86. There were a few $10 and $20 concluded auctions last Wednesday, but a look at current auctions shows the craze has died down, somewhat…lots of low opening bids, few takers.

    Okay, and that’s enough about that.

  • Funnybook publisher pal Nat gets some newspaper coverage. Something about “election scandals” and “WMDs” and a “barfight with Lindsey Lohan” and…oh, okay, not really. They talk about Charles Schulz, Licensable Bear™, and 24 Hour Comics…but sadly, no mention of one of Nat’s favorites, and mine, his Quantum Creep parody comic. Next time, Nat, next time.
  • Supergirl gets new artist, some reasonable clothing, and human anatomy.
  • Received a toy and statue catalog at the shop on Tuesday…along with a few pages of Japanese girly figurines that make that Mary Jane statue look like Ms. Petticoat DeMure, there was this…this…


    It’s…I’m…I don’t know how to react to this. It is both terrifying and wonderful.

Blogging about blogging is a sin.

§ May 29th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Blogging about blogging is a sin.

I’m a little under the weather, so forgive me if I keep this update a bit on the short side. But, hey, you’ll be getting another End of Civilization post at the end of the week, and that’s more than enough content for anybody, right?

Anyway, I’ve made a couple changes around here:

1. Added a few new sites to the sidebar…just look for the garish red color for the new linkage.

2. Because I don’t have enough internet communication thingies at my disposal, I’ve added yet another one: yes, I now have a Twitter account. I held off because the user name I wanted was taken (damn you, Seximus Prime!), but after seeing the little Twitter sidebar box implemented on Kevin’s and Bully’s sites, I decided I had to have one. So, there you go, a way for me to put up pithy (or pissy, for that matter) notes that I don’t feel like devoting a whole post to.

3. I also had to widen the template of the site slightly to accommodate the Twitter box, so if you’re browsing the Web at 800X600 resolution, the site’s going to be a tad wider than that. I could have adjusted the Twitter box itself, but that fouls up the font size inside, and my eyesight’s strained enough.

4. And lastly, I signed up for Google’s AdSense program. Yes, I have an ad on the site. I’ve sold out to The Man. It’s in the sidebar, below my links, above my archives, and hopefully it’ll be nonintrusive. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll get an extra dollar or two out of it. You’d think just selling comic books would be enough to keep me livin’ high on the hog, but oddly enough, it hasn’t quite worked out that way. But now with my webpage ad, surely I’ll rake in enough to dough to finally be able to crush my enemies, drive them before me and hear the lamentations of their women.

So, anyway, all these changes aren’t set in stone (including the new weblog links, so those new guys better toe the line, mister!), and if the Twitter box turns out to be a problem (already I’m noticing some slight updating issues), and if you all really hate the idea of having an ad on the site, I’ll reconsider.

Boy, wasn’t that all just terribly exciting?

Here, have a YouTube post…assuming it’s not pulled Any Second Now, this should be a clip of a Saturday Night Live screen test with Gilda Radner. I’d just finished watching the season one SNL DVD set, via the Netflix, and man, Gilda was just absolutely beautiful and funny:

Dennis the Menace Goes to The Free-Roaming Animal Zoo.

§ May 28th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Dennis the Menace Goes to The Free-Roaming Animal Zoo.

Mr. Mitchell’s cunning plan to rid himself of his troublesome son goes awry
when the tiger turns its attention to him.

So long, Charles.

(CNR image from this site)

Trees, Bob, and Gambit’s moist parts.

§ May 27th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Trees, Bob, and Gambit’s moist parts.

So last week an old customer of ours, who hadn’t visited the store in a while, dropped off his collection of X-Men-related comics, dating from about ’95 to 2000. He wasn’t looking to sell them…he just asked “hey, you want my old comics? I’ll just give them to you,” and for whatever reason, certainly not because we were in any dire need of yet more comics, I said “sure.”

And there I was, with huge piles of X-books on the counter before me, the Generation Xs and the Mutant Xs and the Uncanny X-Mens, sorting out issues we could actually use, and dividing the rest between a pile destined for the store’s bargain bin, and a pile that I can blow out on the eBay. As I gazed upon this four-color mountain, one thought briefly occurred to me: “Man, I think I would have liked all these comics better as the trees their paper came from.”

And I think that brought me to a new way of reviewing comics.

To wit:

X-Force #5 (1991): Deadpool delivers a couple villains to a mysterious third party; the Blob and the Toad recruit Sauron for their new Brotherhood of Evil Mutants; Cable, Boom Boom, Domino, and Cannonball argue about something-or-other; Warpath runs around in the forest, communing with nature and such because he’s a Native American, you know; Feral flirts with Shatterstar in the Danger Room; and some other stuff happens, but I can’t deal with this comic any longer.

Spruce: Provides shade; wood can be used for a variety of construction purposes; leaves and oils can be used to make spruce beer; one of the major components of paper manufacture; often used as Christmas trees. (source)


So there you go. It’ll catch on like gangbusters, I’m sure. At the very least, we have a new “in” code phrase at the shop now (“Hey, Mike, how’s this comic?” “WINNER = TREE.” “Huh?”).

In other news:

I was flipping through the Overstreet Price Guide and just happened to glance at one of the entries for Detective Comics. For #328, it reads “Death of Alfred; Bob Kane biog, 2 pgs.” Now, with Overstreet’s tiny, tiny print and my aging eyes, I thought for a millisecond there that it read “Bob Kane blog,” and goodness knows what that would have been like. “Dear Blog: Took credit for someone else’s ghost work again today.” ‘Course, the blog probably would have had a ghost writer, too.

Now, a conversation I wish I didn’t have:

Employee Aaron: “Hey, here’s a picture of Gambit holding a playing card in his mouth. So can he charge the card with energy via his mouth and kinda spit it out at someone?”

Me: “So you’re asking me if, say, Gambit’s mouth and/or tongue can funnel energy into something that he can throw at someone else?”

Aaron: “Yes. Can he like, supercharge just his spit, make his spit explos….”

Me: “No. Stop. I’m not thinking any more about Gambit’s mouth.”

Aaron: “But if he….”

Me: “NO.”

This is what happens when there’s no one in the store. It’s sad, really.

Even sadder: it turns out, that given this citation in the Wikipedia article:

“His other tricks have included charging a wad of chewing gum when he was otherwise entirely tied up….

…yes, assuming the wad was in his mouth, Gambit can charge things orally. Good God, what am I writing?

Okay, so I’m a day late.

§ May 26th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Okay, so I’m a day late.






It’s an anniversary thing…you wouldn’t understand.

§ May 25th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on It’s an anniversary thing…you wouldn’t understand.

(join in the posse, you will)

TV, Wikipedia, MODOB*, DOORWATCH ’07, and cash money.

§ May 25th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on TV, Wikipedia, MODOB*, DOORWATCH ’07, and cash money.

  • One of the good things about still watching a past-its-peak-popularity TV show like Smallville is that I can put off watching the season cliffhanging finale for a week or two and not worry too much about anyone accidentally spoiling it for me. Because, really, everyone’s talking about the ending episodes of Heroes and Lost, and, comparatively speaking, no one gives a rat’s behind about the year-long running-in-place shenanigans of The Adventures of a Young Clark Kent Who Really Isn’t Superboy, Honest, So We Don’t Owe The Siegels Any Money. (Okay, sure, people perked up a bit when they heard about Green Arrow being on the show….)

    Well, I still care a little, but at this point, I think all the folks still watching Smallville are a little tired of the “no tights/no flights” policy. Just let the man fly, already…we’ve had plenty of flying from other characters, and Clark himself flew occasionally (but not as himself…rather, as “Bad Clark” — don’t ask), and the world didn’t end. And he might as well be in his costume, at this point, since all he ever seems to wear is his blue t-shirt and his red jacket.

    And, about the finale itself, if I may be Mr. SPOILERpants for a moment:

    Okay, that “death” couldn’t have been more of a set-up if the “victim” shouted “I’M TOTALLY FAKING MY OWN DEATH RIGHT NOW” right before it happened. I mean, honestly. And the more I think about it, the more I like the debut of “Bizarro-Clark,” even if the gratuitous use of the word “bizarre” during the character’s intro was forced in with a sledgehammer.

    And very, very brief SPOILER comments about the other two shows I’d mentioned: Heroes ended with more a whimper than a bang, particularly after a few snappy episodes over the last couple of weeks. This is all we get? And the bad guy, who’s been such a terrifying menace throughout the season, just stands there and lets a little man with a sword charge at him from a few yards away? And does nothing to prevent himself from being impaled? I call no way.

    And Lost: nearly crippled by the misjudgment of airing six new episodes and then going on hiatus for several months so that all their viewers can decide they have better things to do with their time, this show has come a long way toward redeeming itself with, past those initital six shows, the strongest season yet. Some actual forward motion, some actual resolutions, some status quos changed, some questions answered, and some good new questions raised that tantalize rather than frustrate. It can still all go south over the promised next three years, but hopes are back up after a sour beginning to this latest season.

  • On a related note to my Smallville discussion: hopefully by the time you read this, someone will have fixed it, but as I type this, here’s how part of the Jerry Siegel/Superman lawsuit article reads:

    “It is rumored because of these lawsuits, DC comics decided to kill off superboy in the comics, and very little makes mention of the name there after. It is also the reason ‘legion of superheros’ includes superman and not superboy.”


  • So it seems that Marvel has a MODOK blog allegedly written by the Mental Organism his own self. “George Tarleton,” editor of The Journal of MODOK Studies, has already shown up in the comments section to school whatever intern is writing this on some true MODOK knowledge.

    If you need more MODOK, I’d gathered several internet MODOK resources in my MODOK linkdump from January. You can wait for “MODOK” to dole ’em on out, three or four links a week…or you can get all the links from my site right now!

    Here’s a MODOK link I missed the first time around: enjoy this fine “Teen MODOK” strip.

  • DOORWATCH ’07 CONTINUES, as the repairman showed up with a replacement glass for the front door…only to discover they’d been sent the wrong size glass, and that they’ll have to reorder the proper size…and with the weekend coming up, and Memorial Day, we’re looking at maybe next Tuesday before the door is fully repaired.

    Isn’t that exciting?

  • I like what Milo’s been up to…looking up on a database the political cash contributions made by various folks in the comics/cartooning industry. Kevin Church, writer of Boom! Studios’ Cover Girl, a big Coolidge supporter? Who knew?
* Mental Organism Designed Only for Blogging, of course.


§ May 24th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on SCIENCE HAS GONE AWRY!

So I was given some of that Silly Putty-esque/slime-a-like Krazy Kryptonite Compound that was released as part of the Superman Returns merchandising onslaught, and now apparently warming shelves over at ye olde local dollar store:

Well, I do loves me some Silly Putty, or even the Silly Putty substitute that I assumed this to be, so I busted open the package here at the shop, expecting some putty fun. However, as documented here by Employee Jeff’s camera phone, the Compound was either stored improperly or had not aged well, and what Employee Aaron and I discovered was pure Putty Tragedy:


Say, have I mentioned Craniu…oh, okay, I’ll stop.

§ May 24th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Say, have I mentioned Craniu…oh, okay, I’ll stop.

  • A couple nice bits of business from the newest issue of Hellblazer, #232:

    1. The tree tattoo on Constantine’s bottom finally makes a reappearance:

    As you all remember, I’m sure, from your copies of Swamp Thing #76, Swampy briefly possessed Constantine’s body, and during that time he had a tree tattooed on his tuckus as a small bit of petty revenge for all the grief John had caused him over the years.

    Of course, there is some debate as to whether or not Constantine would still have the tattoo now (particularly after having his body rebuilt from scratch at one point). It was still nice to see someone remembering that little bit from a long ago issue of Swamp Thing, though.

    And yes, that pic is indeed an extreme close-up of Constantine’s right buttcheek. That’s right, there’s a picture of a butt, on your computer screen, RIGHT NOW. If you’re at work, you are so fired.

    2. The intended pronunciation of “Constantine,” as opposed to the pronunciation in that Keanu Reeves movie, is reemphasized:

    It’s been brought up once before, but it’s nice to have it in the actual Hellblazer book.

  • So we got in a case of the Simpsons Duff Energy Drink, one can of which looks something like this:

    Employee Aaron sampled a can, which resulted in this exchange:

    Aaron: “This looks better than it tastes.”

    Me: “That’s what people usually say about me.”

    Anyway, we though we’d try it out at the shop for…well, no real good reason whatsoever. But, hey, as it turned out, it proved to be not a bad seller. A few up by the register made for good impulse buying. I haven’t tried it myself (I prefer to pickle my insides with an endless progression of diet soda), and it’s too bad former employee Josh isn’t around, since his blood is about 90% energy drink and would probably buy out our entire supply of Duff in a heartbeat. A really, really fast heartbeat.

  • What I have to look forward to:

    For the last year, every new comics day, a phone call from the same person: “Is All Star Batman #5 out yet?”

    This week, the person calls again: “Is All Star Batman #6 out yet?”

    Oh dear heavens.

  • For those of you still keeping up with DOORWATCH ’07, we now have a big piece of wood in the place of the glass in our front entrance. Hopefully sometime today the replacement glass will be in, as most of conversations on Wednesday went like this:

    1. Yeah, someone just busted the glass in our door.

    2. No, nothing’s missing…it was just vandalism, not thievery.

    Repeat several hundred times.

    Can’t blame folks for asking, but it did wear thin after a while. Ah, well, I’ll live.

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