In which Mike is a big jerk.
Things I never hear at the store:
“Is the new Youngblood out yet?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, it’s very rude for me to talk on my cell phone the entire time you’re trying to complete a transaction with me. Let me end my call so that we may conclude our business without distraction.”
“Does this ‘My Other Hard Drive Is The Millennium Falcon’* t-shirt look good on me?”
“Wow, I wasn’t expecting the new issue of Ultimates to be out so soon!”
“My young daughter is sure to love this new issue of Supergirl.”
“Mr. Sterling, put down the shotgun and broken wine bottle…we have the store surrounded.”
“Just look for the Comics Code Authority stamp, Little Billy…those are the comics that are appropriate for you.”
“$2.99? Well, considering the lower print runs and increased paper costs, not to mention the need to provide every person involved in the production and distribution process with a living wage, that’s actually quite a reasonable price for a comic book, and I’m glad to pay it.”
“‘Giant-Size Man-Thing?’ What’s so funny about that?”
“Hey, that last issue of Uncanny X-Men was really good!”
“I’d like to sell this old comic I have here…it’s kinda beat up, I think it’s pretty common, and, come to think of it, it’s really not all that old…a year or two at most. Actually, I’m sure it’s not worth anything….sorry to waste your time.”
“You know what I wish? I wish there was yet another new ongoing monthly Spider-Man title. A half-dozen just isn’t enough, frankly.”
“I was going to ask you to put this comic behind the counter for me so that I can come back to buy it later today, but, let’s face it, I’m going to get distracted and forget to return for it, so I might as well just leave it on the shelf.”
“Hey, Ian, you’re sober!”
“Do you have any other female-empowering comics, like Victoria’s Secret Service?”
“You know what I’d just love? If you secretly noted every stupid thing I say and post it later on your weblog. That’d be fantastic.”
My embarrassing moment of the day: asking one of our customers if he wanted the latest Spike one-shot, forgetting that he reads this site and finding out that he remembers my negative review of same. Um, heh. (You’re a trooper, Corey!)
The mighty Booksteve digs out a 20-year-old Swamp Thing fanzine cartoon for all to enjoy. Well done, sir.
Happy anniversary to Dave’s Long Box, you magnificent son of a bitch.
